206B - Spoiled

We here at NASA are spoiled little brats. There, I said it. We live in the lap of luxury, frittering away your hard earned tax dollars with our posh offices and neat, technologically advanced toys. I am going to give you an insider's look at our crazy pad... Don't hate me just because you work in a dump... prepare yourself... are you ready?... Three... two... one... LIFT OFF!!!

Wait -- Houston... we have a problem.

Exhibit A - A ceiling so lovely that it rivals the Sistine Chapel.  I know what you're thinking -- and you're right -- it's absolutely breath-taking. A wonder to behold.

Fun fact -- we flew people to the Moon...

You may think some moron put aluminum foil in the microwave and walked away letting an electrical fire almost get out of hand, but you are probably wrong. I hope you're wrong... because we're rocket scientists dammit. Did I mention we flew people to the Moon? M-O-O-N, that spells... everything. Anyway, in reality, this is a space microwave where we blow up meteorites, but they also allow us to reheat our lunches in it.

The funeral will be held on Friday.

This here is our sophisticated drainage system. It's not that we have a leaky roof, no silly, we are collecting rainwater to recycle it. After all, Jesus turned wine into water, and NASA did the same thing for urine... and rainwater. Yes... that's what's going on here... space alchemy...
You can also see that we are big into safety... those buckets may be in the middle of the hallway, but we warned you not to trip over them!

Now doesn't this look appetizing? No... no one took a dump in the bucket... that's the water that leaked into the bucket from the fluorescent light fixture above... ahem... I mean, it is part of sophisticated rainwater collection system. If the water were clean, it wouldn't be challenging, and we at NASA love a challenge... Oh, and remember -- reduce, reuse, recycle...

Well, I hope I haven't upset you too much... every once in a while I just can't help myself... I have to brag about where I work for a living, and I know that makes some people feel inferior because their offices don't do extreme recycling or have fancy ceilings... But take heart, not that you know you can get paid to pee and poop, you're better off today than you were the day before...

P.S. We flew people to the Moon -- did I mention that?


  1. And you left out other important aspects of government buildings. Things like the non-existant exhaust fans in the restrooms, the asbestos ceilings, the rarely cleaned mixed tile floors from the 70's with a touch of rust from previous filing cabinet locations. Oh yes, this is quite the amazing environment people expect from NASA! BUT, it is the great people I work with who make it enjoyable! (insert brownie points from Kristy here)

  2. Well... I didn't want to brag...

  3. "Fun fact -- we flew people to the Moon..." ROFL!

    This was a quite brilliant post. Though sorry your offices are in such disrepair, at least you can laugh about it.

    Nice Stand reference too.

  4. Sooooooo...do you think they would be hiring for I don't know say a Health and Safety Manager...Curious but didn't you guys fly people to the moon????

    I'm loving the sophistication of the water recovery system...(I cringed just a little bit when I saw that)

  5. That's just great. Just great!!!!!!!

  6. I thought Jesus turned the water into wine?

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  8. Bendigo - I think they are actually...

    MA - You thought that said Jesus-Jeezus didn't you? I was talking about Jesus-Haysoos. He drank the wine, then well... you know... (I can't believe I wrote that bass-ackwards... that's what I get for trying to be clever...)

  9. Kristy... you are clever! I know you just did it to make sure I was listening.

  10. That was a BRILLIANT post! What was that word again...moon, you said? FLying a guy to the moon is nothing NOTHING compared to the complexity behind repairing roofs and moving pails to the side of a wall (and out of the way). You rock!!

  11. Kirsty you are killin' me over here! Damn funny post! Ah gvt. buildings. My sis works in a state court house. the new toilets they installed were so loud that you could hear them flushing in the freakin' courtroom... while court was in session. Not to mention the "new" dry wall was so crappy that you could sometimes hear the majestic farts of toilet patrons.

  12. BAHAHAHAHA!! That made me laugh. Hard.

    You are a funny lady, m'lady :)

  13. Great post! I do have one question about working at NASA.... Do you guys get all the TANG you can drink?

  14. Alas, no... Kristy gets no Tang. (Read incorrectly that could sounds like a completely different topic, but the statement is still true... which is okay!)