192 - I win. You lose. Pthbbb.

It's raining as I write this, and the windchime is playing a gentle melody. I love these sounds. They're soothing, they wash away all the bad, and they relax me. If it weren't so cold outside I'd open the windows so I could hear it better. But it is cold... Not that I'm complaining. I savor the frigid air because it is precious... I know that what comes next is miserable and sticky... I don't like summers here... but summer is coming for me like a grizzled bear and I have nowhere to run. Soon I'll be trapped in the stifling heat with mosquitos chasing me down like small vampires... heat and insects draining my life force and making me weak and disgruntled. The countdown has already begun.

I need to go back and calculate how many days of the 30-Day Shred I have completed. Getting sick threw off my count... I'm still on level 2, but I'm now able to do the plank jacks (in plank position, jump your legs in and out like scissors). *yea* It's funny how little things change the intensity, making it easier or more difficult. She said it very clearly - plank position puts your hands directly under your shoulders, but it didn't sink in... I still had them further out... further out front, and further out to the sides, and that made it much more difficult. Now that I'm in the right position, there is less strain on my arms. Kind of like an epiphany. So how's everyone else doing with their exercises? It's been awfully quiet...

Watched Bear's urban survival show last night. I couldn't help mentally comparing it to Apocalypse Man. I hate to say it, but I think AM was actually more useful. Bear did some crazy shit, and it was good and entertaining, but realistically... showing me how to blow up a door, but not showing me how to blow it up? Don't get me wrong -- I don't need to think I have that knowledge, nor do any number of (other) crazies out there... but my question is... why even bring it up? It's like telling a joke and keeping the punch line to yourself. Then constructing a rat trap,but not really showing us how you did it? So... anyway... back to the wild Bear! Give me something I can actually use if I need to. And please -- eat something besides bugs every once in a while!

So a friend of mine motions me over this afternoon and says, "Did your dad tell you what I did to ya'll this weekend?" Perplexing and cryptic... "No... what did you do to us this weekend?" Apparently, as we are standing in WalMart -- which, on principal, I normally NEVER shop at because I hate WM's monopolistic hold over the retail world... but I wanted seeds, and it was there -- he walked by us. Then he walked by us again. Then he walked by us a third time. Then he walked... away. Now... mind you, my attention was completely focused on what was in front of me, and I don't have eyes in the back of my head, so there's no way I would have seen him unless he made some sort of noise to draw my attention or bumped me.

But he was all proud of himself.

He said, "I could have robbed you and you wouldn't have even known." Not so sure about that... but it did concern me a smidge. I admit, I'm not very aware of my surroundings in a store. I zone out. I don't actually want to make eye contact with strangers, so I develop tunnel vision. In a parking lot, sure, my spidey senses are all aflutter, because I have heard a zillion urban legends about parking lots, some true, some not, but they've made their impression on me, so I walk with purpose and I look around me. In this case we were inside the store, and dad was there... so yeah, my guard was down. I'm pretty sure that if I felt my purse move, I would notice. Hell, I can feel a single strand of hair laying on my arm, and it bugs me like the Princess was bugged by the pea! So I'm not sure his little experiment gave him the results he thought it did, but it would have been pointless to argue. Let him think he pulled one over on me.

Weird. Watching Big Medicine and they just showed a side by side, of a woman... before... and after. She's turned to the side. Her body looks like a stomach. Seriously, it's shaped like a drawing of a stomach. Bizarre. What is it with me and fat shows anyway? If I'm scrolling through, one of the things I'll always watch is Big Medicine or One Ton Mom or something like that...

Southwest Airlines. Wow. Color me impressed. This is a true story, but I know you've not going to believe it... This afternoon I contacted the group sales department because I wanted to see what kind of discount they give to large groups... planning that cruise... I got a message. Nothing alarming there. But the message said something AMAZING, it said that all the representatives were busy helping other customers... I could hold... or I could press 1 and THEY WOULD CALL ME BACK. So I pressed 1, then I entered my number, said my name, and they said a representative would call me in between 22 and 31 minutes. I was skeptical. But they DID. I got a call from an automated system, it said, if this is Kristy, press 1... I pressed 1... it said that a representative would be on the line momentarily. Voila. Live person of English speaking origin. I just about died.
On the other side of the coin you have the wankers at Wank of America. Fifth phone call to get my $6 back. At this point I have a supervisor's scouts honor that he will follow through, and two letters telling me that someone will contact me. Excuse me, I feel a fit of laughter coming on... Representative 8 put me on hold while she reviewed ALL of the notes from my account. She comes back and tells me that the reversal was denied. This does not surprise me as it might have earlier in the process, because my experience with Wank of America is that they ignore you and hope you go away. Probably works with most people.

Not me.

She says it was denied because they can't find the fee. I told her I faxed a copy of my bank statement showing the fee. She says maybe it was my bank that charged it. I said no -- I used Wanker's system to pay the bill, not my bank, and my bank doesn't charge for that. She says there's no fee, she checked all three systems and she can't find it. I'm frustrated, but I'm polite, she seems helpful. I do make a point to talk shit about Wank, but I never say 'you' or make it about her.

At this point she did something uncharacteristic for a Wank employee... she suggested we conference call my bank.

It was slightly amusing. My bank says Bank of America orginated the charge, Wank says there are no fees on my account, my bank says there's a $6 charge, Wank says but there are no fees on my account. I ask my bank how to get the charge reversed, because regardless of whether Wank can find my money, they have it, and I didn't authorize it. They tell me to fill out a form and they'll credit my account and reverse the fee back to Wank. Wank asks how they're going to do that since they didn't charge a fee. My bank stands firm, there's a transaction originating from Wank, so it will be reversed.

Yu-huh... Nuh-uh... Yu-huh... Nuh-uh... Slightly entertaining. Better yet, I smell victory.

So after almost two months of frustration -- I get my money back! Screw you Wank of America! (But thank you to the rep I spoke to today, she's the only one who deserves a paycheck).


P.S. I need another cookbook like I need a hole in my head... but dangit, I can't stop thinking about Julia Childs... that bruschetta looked divine...


  1. Congratulations. Savor the victory. And I shall now be referring to it as Wank of America from here out.

    I still think bear wins, because even if they both were stupid, bear has warm place in my heart. The other twit had no personality.

    I hate going to Walmart, for the reason you stated, but also because, hmm, how does one say this without sounding snobbish and judgemental... it's where the freaks like to hang out.

  2. Hubby mentioned Wal-Mart today and I nearly had a panic attack! I don't go anywhere, much, but I really have to psych myself up to go there.

  3. I am physically tired after reading that...I am convinced that I can substitute this post for all future exercise... I'm glad you have your exercises figured out and I'm sure you are doing kick ass on em..

    BTW...Wank of A totally bites...anytime you can get anything from those blood sucking leeches you win...


  4. TS - I was trying not to say it... but yeah... sometimes it's a skeery place

    MA - Aside from the above, it's also very crowded... I used to like going... but these days I don't

  5. Jan 14 was day one, so 21 days minus four that I didn't exercise = Day 17. Thirteen more to go... and then I begin to diversify.

  6. What victory for you! I know you have been at this forevahhhhhh! That totally rocks!
    We also do not do WalMart. Did you see the doc "The High Cost of Low Prices"?? Very eye opening.

  7. Regarding the summer...I am with you all the way, not looking forward to the mosquitoes, I already saw one in the house the other day.

    working out...hang in there, I know how tough it is. Don't let Mistress Jillian intimidate you!

  8. Sorry about the multiple comments, but your post touched on a lot of things.

    When you are in a parking lot, you need to make an obvious and exagerrated show of looking around you. The predators will home in on the ones who are not paying attention. You get my drift?

  9. Yay for standing your ground! I probably would have walked away with my tail between my legs!

    Damn 'Wank of America' hahahah!