313 - A box

One of my co-workers mentioned that she has purloined a large box and is planning to modify it into a playpen for her granddaughter. I told her, "You go girl -- you can't prepare kids for the future too soon in this economy!"


312 - Dear Oven, I've missed you

I should stay away from HEB.

HEB is a grocery store; evil masquerading as good. It seems to have fresher produce, a better meat selection, a bulk aisle, and organic cleaning supplies / candles. This last is where I get into trouble. Today they were also selling herbs and arugula. So guess what I got (in addition to groceries)? Herbs and arugula... and candles... I spent way too damn much.

I love to cook, but I haven't bothered lately since it's just been me. Most nights I've had a baked potato, or a toasted sandwich for dinner, and I buy my lunches at the onsite cafeteria. Since Bob and I are pretty much living together now, until he deploys in February (if he does)... we've been cooking. It's nice, something fun we can do together, because he also loves to cook -- plus, it's healthier and there's more variety than if we ate out all the time (and cheaper... if I don't buy extraneous crap when I go to HEB...). Bob was in Cozumel with his sister and some other family members this week, but I get to pick him up at the airport tonight... *squee* he's been gone for a week, I miss him. But I digress... The house smells WONDERFUL because I have some chocolate bread pudding baking in the oven. Why oh why did I ever stop cooking??? I LOVE it, do you hear me? LOVE! IT!

So this weekend I've been organizing and cleaning. Got the cats some snazzy bowls on a small metal platform, looks nice and hopefully it'll make it even easier to keep the floor clean. I bought some risers for the pantry, so I can see all of my cans. I bought an airtight container for my flour, because as I was cleaning out said pantry I found two weevil-infested bags of flour that I had to throw out... gross, weevils are creepy and they make me sing "Weevils wobble but they don't fall down," which irritates me... Bought a compact spice rack so I could make space on the counter for the container I bought to put cat food in... after a few days the cats get all persnickety when the food gets stale... hoping to extend the life of the bag. Weeded out some recipes I cut out of magazines, the pile had become slightly unmanagable... it's back in line now. Got a decorative basket for the stuff that Bob throws on the bedside table. I've also been clearing out drawers and shelves so that Bob has space to put his stuff. Trying to make him feel at home. It's not easy. I've lived alone for over a decade AND I'm an only child... Don't get me wrong, the living with Bob part is easy, it's the making space for Bob that's been more difficult than I'd thought. I'm getting there.

I also scrubbed the grout in the kitchen. That floor was nasty. Never, ever, ever put white tile in your kitchen. Don't do it. I didn't do it -- it was the previous owners who did, in fact the whole house is white tile and grout that used to be white. I repeat -- never, ever. EVER.

This whole time change has got me messed up... since I've been in the kitchen I have been looking at the oven clock. The oven clock doesn't automatically adjust itself like my bedroom clock, the DVR, my computer and my phone do. Grrr. So I've changed it now.

This was kind of a boring blog. Oh well. Can't be exciting ALL the time, hahaha.


311 - It's just one of those days

There’s no audio, only words, but wow... what words they are (I give this an R rating):

So after I read it, I looked at the ‘tags’ at the bottom of the story and I could already hear the commercial in my head:

“If things have progressed beyond that ‘not-so-fresh’ stage… you may have a condition known as HVO.”


Also, my company is apparently trying to bribe us to do our performance appraisals by giving us a piece of bubble gum. So my admin goes, "Here's your gum." She pauses. "Oh, you can't chew gum." (because I have braces) Another pause. "Well... can you suck it?" (and somehow the words "suck it" seem emphasized)

My bad luck, a co-worker, with a mind every bit as diry as mine, is standing next to me and immediately looks over with his patented 'I can't wait to hear the answer to THIS one' smirk... So now I'm afraid to walk through the hi-bay because I have a pretty good idea what's in store for me there...


310 - A day of silliness and an update

Yesterday I wore this t-shirt. Even though it is pink.

And then I got a brilliant idea. Happened in the bathroom, from whence all my brilliant ideas seem to originate.

I walked into my co-workers office, made a magnet sound, and acted as if I couldn't control my legs as I made my way over toward him, attaching myself to his shoulder. He gave me a WTF? look, and I backed off, proudly displaying my t-shirt. He laughed.

Later he came into my office (drawn, no doubt, by the t-shirt) and asked if it took two dorks to make the magnet work. "Alas, no," I told him. "If I too were a dork, we would repel each other like two positive poles of a magnet." He seemed satisfied by my answer.

Proving indubitably that he is, in fact, a dork.

I tried this gag thrice more throughout the day and was quite pleased with the outcome. A good time was had by all.

Things with Bob are still wonderful. Don't get me wrong, they haven't been perfect, because no relationship is, but what I've found is that we have the ability to compromise and muddle our way through the rough patches. And the rough patches are pretty rare. Having been friends first has really helped a lot, because I knew who he was before we started dating... he's not for everyone, he's complicated. But I'm not for everyone either... I'm complicated. So we work.

I've met most of his family by now, and I love them, his son actually ran up and hugged me last time we visited (he just turned ten). Bob, Jr. is one cool kid, very easy to get along with, likes to read, smart as a whip. What I am really happy about, is that I really and truly like everyone, I don't just have to 'put up with' them, so makes life a hell of a lot easier. I always wanted a big family, and by God I am getting that! At some point in the near future we'll be introducing our families to each other. AND my friends Brian and Laura are coming here for Thanksgiving, so I'm excited that we'll all get to hang out, because they're family to me too and I am glad they'll get to meet each other.

Mom cracked me up because she said she had this image of the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the guy's parents walk into this house full of gregarious Greeks and feel a little overwhelmed. She even put her hands in her lap and made that face. I told her 'no, no, no... you'll be fine...' But on the inside I was laughing, because I know how my parents are, and it's very likely that they will feel a little overwhelmed. I get my social anxiety from my mom, but I think she'll be fine if we start small.

Anyway, Bob and I have spent enough time together that most of the warts have shown themselves by now, on both sides, and I am still batshit crazy in love with this man. :)


309 - Drimmels Don't Go There

I should just retitle my blog... All I blog about are my teeth...

Today he used the drimmel again. But this time he did minor gum surgery. At first I thought it was accidental... because he apologized... but then he added an addendum to his apology, "There was really no other way to get at that part of the tooth." So what you're saying is that you weren't sorry you sadistic maniac! You did it on purpose!

I hate new brace tray day. It always hurts. It especially hurts the Nanny McPhee tooth... the tooth they have dragged way the hell out front for some inexplicable reason. The tooth that bumps against my top tooth because they didn't drag the top tooth out too. Makes eating a big lot of fun. Makes having my trays out kinda risky... one good chomp when I'm not thinking, and I'm pretty sure I will knock Nanny McPhee right out of my mouth.

Grrrr. I get cranky when my teeth hurt!!!

But... I'm on tray seven. There are eight trays to a box. There are two boxes. I think that means I'm one tray away from being halfway done. Three weeks a tray... carry the one... that's twenty-seven weeks or six'ish months? Although as the treatment gets more aggressive... as it seems to be doing... we might go to four weeks per tray. Still... there's a light at the end of the tunnel... and I don't hear a horn... so I guess it's all good.


308 - An Observation

So I get an email from Borders and I see a neat looking book cover... I feel that little spark of excitement -- because honestly... I do (first) judge a book by its cover. I'm intrigued. I click on it:

"Description: Told in three voices and punctuated by news articles chronicling the family's story, "Fallout" is the stunning conclusion to the trilogy begun in "Crank" and "Glass.""

Um. Okay.

I'm still a little interested, but irritated that there's nothing of substance in the description. So I look up Crank, to find out what the F the series is really about, since it's the first in the trilogy maybe their more generous with their info... Aaaaand this is what they tell me:

"Description: Ellen Hopkins' bestselling CRANK in hardcover for the first time"

Mmm-hmmm. Well... thanks for clearing that up. Seriously, I'm no longer interested. I've already had to do too much work. Now I'm just going to hop back to B&N as usual... and you can go screw yourselves.

Maybe I'm just cranky cuz I had my wisdom teeth removed last week and they're still healing. That, and the cold I contracted two weeks ago refuses to completely go away. Eating, between the braces having moved my teeth out of alignment, and the gaping holes in my jaw where my teeth used to be... is not the enjoyable experience it once was. But it's getting better. And the removal itself, despite my fears, really wasn't that bad. One minute the surgeon and I are are discussing where I went to high school, then I feel a warm liquid flowing into my vein, and before I can think another thought... I wake up and move to another room where I sit for about 10 mins before they release me to Bob. I was even cognizant enough to be able to tell Bob how to get home (he kind of remembers his way around so it wouldn't have been a tragedy, just might have taken longer). And by 'tell' him, I don't mean that I was a backseat driver, I just told him where to turn and warned him about the red light camera. :)

So it's done now. And I do feel a little dumber. ;p

Couple of days ago I sneezed for the first time since the surgery... and I never want that to happen again until I'm healed... I'd read in the literature that after the tooth is pulled, a blood clot forms. And this blood clot is a precious, precious thing. We don't want to dislodge it. So no smoking (no problem), no sucking through a straw, no spitting for the first 24 hours, and no soda for 48 (booooo)... Because.... I guess aside from making the bleeding stop, the clot also prevents air from contacting the now-exposed jawbone. Air on the bone = dry socket and we don't want that. We sooooooooooooooo don't want that. So when I sneezed... it felt like I dislodged something. And I freaked because I thought it might have been the blood clot. Turns out it was... chicken... I was still eating dinner and I hadn't rinsed my mouth yet. Things tend to become lodged in my top sockets despite my best efforts... in fact, I've come to think of those sockets as little Pez dispensers in my mouth... because my mind is warped and I think goofy little thoughts like that all damn day long... Anyway, it's a good thing my allergies aren't going crazy right now... that's all I can say.

Sorry it's so long between posts... seems to be catching, I notice a lot of us are slowing down. Hope everyone has a good weekend!


307 - The Perils of Gwendolyn

...has nothing to do with the contents of the post...

Today I saw the orthodontist and got a new tray. I'm on tray #6. I am now 17 weeks into this process. I think I have another 20 months to go. Oh joy. To the world.

Whose stupid idea was this again???

Let me tell you a little story about tray #5... (are you eating? don't eat)

I was in Charleston. My aunt didn't want to go out for dinner. The hotel had a happy hour with snacky type foods (broccoli, cauliflower, ranch dressing, chips and salsa, mini corndogs) and she was allllllll about the free snacky food. I sort of pooh-pooh'd the idea, but as it turns out... they had FREE DRINKS. I'm in! Let's go!

I asked for a mojito. The bartender asked what went in it. Bad sign. I told her. Turns out she thought I asked for a "Monkey Toe." Interesting. Turns out they didn't have mint, so I asked for a Vodka 7 and ended up with a Dirty Shirley... vodka, sprite and maraschino cherry juice. Yum. Then I took my braces out so I could eat. I wrapped them up and put them in a napkin, and I put them on the table. Normally I put them in my purse. At this point I'm pretty sure you know where this is going... but I'm going to continue on as if you don't.

Finished my DS and went back for another. The bartender gives me TWO because happy hour was almost over. SCORE! Kristy has a new favorite bartender. I asked if I can take them up to my room. She says I can do whatever I want to with 'em -- but I can't take the glasses home. Deal. Time to party with the twins.

We go back to the room... me, my aunt and my two dirty dates for the night (was really missing Bob... a lot...). I shut the door and set my drinks down... and then I realized... someone wasn't at the party.

FUCK! I'm naked! Where are my braces? (sorry Ms. A... it was the most appropriate expletive for the situation)

I tore ass down the stairs and across the lobby... only to find... people already sitting at our old table...and  my braces were not involved in their conversation...

I explained my situation to the bartender. She told me to talk to the guy in the kitchen, who then led me to... the industrial sized trashcan... that I dug through... to retrieve... my braces... past cold mini corndogs... globs of ketchup covered napkins... partially masticated limes... grease encrusted ice cubes... you get the (disgusting) picture. I found the bottom tray first, and that gave me the fortitude to keep going until I found the top tray. But just barely. It was looking pretty grim. (and yes, they had been wrapped in a napkin, but as the empty drinks were tossed into the garbage can, that napkin turned to mush and disintegrated... so...)

They had some sanitizer at the sink so I ran my braces under that for a few seconds. Then I went back to the room and soaped them up. Twice. Then I brushed them. Twice. Then as I sipped my second Dirty Shirley, I soaked them in the third one. (I earned praise from my ortho for that one) If I had remembered the mini bottle of mouthwash in the bathroom I would have rinsed them with it for good measure... but alas... By the time I finished my drinks I felt much, much better about the situation... though I still missed Bob.

A lot.

All in all I got lucky. I wouldn't be home for three more days... if I hadn't found them my teeth would have begun to shift and my whole treatment plan might have had to be altered since they make all the trays up front. Not to mention that my orthodontist only comes to the office near me on Tuesdays. Or that it would have cost me a lot of money to replace those trays and/or alter the treatment plan... So... icky as it was (and it really was a new low for me), I was elated to have found them. And thankful they hadn't dumped the trashcan into a dumpster...

My orthodontist was highly amused by this story. Have I told you he's sadistic? Funny... I figured he'd say he's heard the trashcan story a thousand times... guess I'm the only moron out there who's done it. Or the only one willing to talk about it. I understand... it's a painful memory... some people probably block the experience out altogether...

So today I got tray #6. And it is really working my upper teeth. My canines specifically, although I feel it all the way across. It hurts now... It's gonna feel GREAT tomorrow. I'm starting to get used to the pain. Thankfully I know this drill (bad choice of words)... the pain usually only lasts for a day before it subsides. And in the meantime, Motrin makes the world go 'round.

On another tooth related note... I'm going to have my wisdom teeth taken out soon. Not a happy camper. It's certainly not by choice. I was hoping to die with them still in my head. But I've resigned myself to the situation and I'm just waiting on the insurance company to do their pre-determination so that the oral surgeon's office can give me a cost estimate. I know my dental insurance covers 75% of the extraction, but I'm not sure about anesthesia, or the bone graft. Apparently I have cysts next to my two lower teeth, and my dental insurance doesn't cover the cost of removing them. They also don't contract with my health insurance. So I get to pay that grand out of my own (shallow) pocket... And speaking of pockets, that's where the bone graft comes in, since the holes will be so big (I'm feeling queasy now), they will dump the bone graft powder in there to fill the space, and it will help my jaw heal faster and prevent dry socket. So... that's good. Whee.

On the upside... THIS YEAR... I should be able to deduct some frickin' medical expenses! In years past I never met the magical number, but THIS YEAR... oh this year... I think I will... And if I don't... I'm gonna cry.

I feel left out... one of my neighbor's is reroofing their house... the other neighbor is on a tree trimming rampage... I um... pulled a few dead plants out of the garden on Sunday... And someday I'll get to that fence... but... it'll probably fall down first... :)

And I'm excited!!! My friends Brian and Laura are coming to see me for Thanksgiving. It's NOT about going to Austin to look around... it's ME they're coming to see. Me! Me! Me! I heart them. I can't wait!

P.S. This is my new favorite non-tribe blog... Check out the Barn... brand new baby moo cow! So cuuuuuuuute!!! I want one.  (for you Brian: http://chickensintheroad.com/)


306 - Better than a sitcom

This weekend was my long-awaited trip to South Carolina.

But first... drama at the retirement community. Sunday morning as we're heading out, this little old lady comes bursting into my aunt's kitchen full of doom and gloom. My aunt says hello. Lets her know we're about to head out, but proudly introduces me to this newcomer. She gives me a cursory acknowledging nod then turns her attention toward my aunt. "You aren't going to be happy to see me Rose," she says. My ears perk up, then I settle back with my breakfast and watch the show.

"I need to talk to you about your birds." This is going to be good. I can tell. "I want you to stop putting out the birdseed. The birds drop it over my yard and I have weeds." Rose disagrees. Politely. "I knew you were going to argue with me Rose. I've lived here for two years and I never had weeds until you started putting out your birdseed. So I'm going to call the Georgia Conservation Commission and I'll prove it to you."

My aunt says she's all for that, if it's the seed, she wants to know. The lady doesn't realize she's being sincere, she takes it as a challenge. "I want you to stop putting the seed out, and if it happens again -- YOU will be paying for someone to come weed my yard." Rose asks why she thinks it's the birdseed. "I've given that a lot of thought." And oh boy... she had. "All three of our garages face the driveway, and when someone raises their door to back out it scares the birds. What's the quickest escape route? Toward my yard." Well played. But...

I couldn't help myself. I chimed in. "So what would happen if she just put the seeds on the other side of her house?" She was flustered but she reluctantly admitted that might be okay. So good... we're agreed that it's okay as long as it's someone else's yard... hahaha.

Then, a couple of days later, it occurred to me. We could germinate the seeds and see what grows. I bet they're wildflower seeds. So that's what Rose is going to do. I also had another possible answer... the association pays a lawn service to mow the lawns. Lawn services mow business lawns, residential lawns, but they also mow overgrown fields. The mower blades pick up seeds, which are then distributed over the next lawn. That's the most likely answer.

Honestly it was more entertainment than most sitcoms provide.

So Charleston was nice. Smaller than I thought. Much like the Garden District in New Orleans and also has a French Quarter. The food was delicious, except the Bubba Gump's shrimp, which wasn't cooked to my taste. I like a little more firmness to my shrimp... just because they turn pink doesn't mean they're ready for me to ingest. But the bread pudding made up for it.

I also had one of the worst experiences of my life. We went to happy hour (me for the free alcohol, Rose for the free snacks). I had a drink. Went back for another and the bartender asked if I wanted two since HH was almost over... going pretty well so far... Then we went back to the room. When I eat I take my braces out. I usually wrap them in a napkin and put them in my purse... this time I left them on the table. F. U. C. K.
I tore ass down the stairs to the lobby and ran back to the table.

Someone else was sitting there.

C. R. A. P.

I had to dig through the trash. For my braces. You know... the ones I put in my mouth. It was gross.

They had some sanitizer at the sink so I ran them under that a few times. Went back to the room and soaped them up a couple more times. Then brushed them a couple of times. I still don't feel good about it. After that I paid a LOT of attention to where I put my braces when they weren't in my mouth...

Beaufort was very nice. We took a carriage ride in both cities, but the one in Beaufort had an edge. Pat Conroy's childhood home, for one. The houses and trees are just spectacular there. And they had a kick ass chocolate shop called The Chocolate Tree that actually supplied the chocolate for Forrest Gump.

Next trip is to New York to see Bob. He's on a travel jaunt right now and we're taking advantage of it. Planning to see Niagara Falls and cross into Canada. So I'm looking forward to that. Already starting to plan what to wear... I'm such a dork.

Here are some random pics from my phone... loving the phone...


305 - Dad Life

LMAO, this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a looooooooooooooong time...


304 - State Troopers are not your friend.

Drove to Austin to see Bob this weekend. I've made the trip once before, a long time ago, in a different car. It wasn't so bad in Trixie, just a little long toward the end, probably because I wanted to get there to see Bob. On the way in, I passed that IRS building that the crazy bastard flew his plane into a few months ago. It still looks ravaged and twisted. Would've taken a picture but I was driving, and I needed all my hands.

Got to meet his ex-wife, and she was very nice. Everyone has asked me if it was awkward to meet her. It wasn't. It's always awkward for me to meet new people, but beyond that, it really wasn't. They've both moved on and were able to become friends. Personally, I think it's great! No drama! Then we hung out with his son... had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory (red velvet cheesecake... that's all I'm saying), went to a park, and saw Dinner for Schmucks. He's such an easy going kid, I still feel a little awkward around him, but I'm loosening up. I'm just afraid to mess up. In the evening I got some Bob time and that was awesome, we always have a great time together... and unbelievably, it seems like things get better and better every time I see him. Still enjoying the hell out of this and my mindset is that instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, I can't wait to see what happens next. And holy crap there's a lot happening...
That is, if my grandma doesn't steal him away from me first...
Sent a pic of us to my mom and dad, who happen to be visiting grandma, and dad sent a text back that said grandma, "says he's handsome, and if you don't want him, she does." -- Back off beyotch! I DO want him! LOL... I told him I'd let Bob know he has options. Bob's excited.

Next day I had to get up ridiculously early to take him to the airport for his stupid job... Then I hit the road, which was... in a way... nice, because being on the road at 5:30 in the morning on a Sunday means you pretty much have the road to yourself. And you get to see the sun rise. And drive through the fog. And no one is in front of you to impede your progress. But... being on the road by yourself is fraught with peril.

It exposes you to radar guns.

I got a fucking ticket. 84 in a 70. I was little Ms. Cooperative. Pulled over, shut the car off, rolled the windows down, didn't take my hands from the wheel until he asked for my license. He does the typical cop conversation, I give him my license, he runs my info... which should tell him that I haven't been given so much as a warning in 20 years... much less gotten a ticket or had an accident. I was SURE I was going to get a slap on the wrist and a 'slow it down ma'am.'

I got a ticket. $170. Next time I'm travelling in a low-cut blouse.

Or... I can pay $110 by way of apology (plus a $6 'convenience fee' because I did all the work and paid online) + $25 for defensive driving + $10 for a copy of my driving record (plus a $2 'convenience fee' for doing more work and paying online) + I have to get the form notarized which probably costs another $10 if there wasn't a notary at work. Add all that up and... $153 + 6 hours of my damn life.

I am not happy about it.

Also not happy that I don't get to see Bob for two weeks... I am having serious withdrawals. But we do talk a lot in the interim. In a lot of ways it brings us closer, and the whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thing seems to be true. So.... can't bitch too much. I've got it good. ;)


303 - Woot!

My counter is about to pass 10,000! Just didn't want it to go unnoticed. :)

Things are good, but hectic. Final stages of planning the Alaskan cruise. Busy time of the month at work. Lots of thinking. Not much blogging. Sorry...


302 - Freeway

I seem to have fallen under a freeway curse. I was going to pick Bob up from the airport on Friday... left work at 1 pm, should have taken about 20 minutes to get there, his flight was going to land at 1:30. First there is a funeral procession preventing me from getting to the freeway. No problem, I respect that... I can wait a couple of minutes. It took 10. This is a four lane road they've blocked for 10 minutes, my respect has a 3 minute time limit. It's 1:15 now, and his flight is actually early. Awesome! But also... crap!

My tank was low, so I stopped and got gas. And thank God I did...

I get on the freeway and traffic slows to 12 mph... 5 mph... 2 mph... soon we're going nowhere. We creep up a foot at a time for 40 minutes. I see a cop on a motorcycle go flying by us on the shoulder so I'm thinking eventually they'll clear the accident and we'll start to move, but Texas is so frickin' flat that I can't see anything but the ass of the truck in front of me. I decide to get out of the 'fast lane' and into the slow lane so I can get off the freeway at the next exit and take an alternate route (one that I hope no one else is thinking of). I put my signal on... a mistake, because it lets people know you want over... It took me another 45 minutes to get from one exit to the next. Our exits aren't that far apart... 1/2 a mile, maybe 3/4 of a mile? At the end I drove on the shoulder because the exit was within my sights and I was about to have a panic attack, took me a minute... had I sat in traffic it would have taken me 15. I also had to pee. It wasn't at that painful brace-your-feet-against-the-floorboard stage yet, but that feeling of being trapped always makes me freak out.

When we evacuated for Rita - the hurricane that didn't even hit our area - it took us 18 hours to get to Bonham, Texas... that's a 6-1/2 hour drive under normal circumstances. We sat on the road in gridlock for 18 hours. No way to get off the freeway, nowhere to go, no bathroom, no food except what you had in your car. We let the cats out to attempt to use the litterbox once, but they wouldn't go... they held it the whole time. My cat almost died... he had diabetes and got overheated because the A/C doesn't work so well when you're not moving. It took me almost a year not to freak out when I saw brake lights ahead of me. This brought it all back. I'm sure the people next to me thought I was crazy because I was yelling at God to get me off the fucking freeway... not in a minute... not soon... NOW.

So I finally got off the freeway and took another route. I stopped by a convenience store to use the facilities and get a soda for me and some water for Bob (neither of us had eaten lunch... was planning to do that after I got Bob... it is almost 3 pm at this point, and Bob has been sitting outside the airport for an hour so I was sure he was thirsty). I managed to choose the right direction on Beltway 8, and I was at the airport in 15 minutes.

On the way back, traffic was backed up on the southbound side, but I was able to get off the freeway before it became gridlock. No way was I going to go through that again.

Turns out, an 18-wheeler hopped the concrete divider and they shut the northbound lanes down completely, the southbound lanes were funneled down to one lane. It took me two hours to make the trip north. I have a 6-speed... my clutch foot was NOT happy. Luckily when I saw Bob, all the stress and frustration and panic melted away... When we went out later I made him drive... Well... made sounds like I forced him, he's a car guy, the fact that he got to drive Trixie actually made him pretty smiley. So it was a good weekend. Bittersweet, because it's over now and it'll be another week before I see him. I think I'm going to end up in Austin next weekend. The following weekend we're planning to go to a friend's family's picnic, so I'll be travelling a lot. Keeps things exciting. =)

Oh, and last night when I was on my way to a friend's house to watch movies, I was on the freeway and I saw the brake lights... I got off the freeway... I don't like the freeway much... hate it actually...


301 - Lame... a blog-rant about how my parents suck

So I figured out why I am the queen of lame excuses. The "I don't feel well"s and the "I'm too tired"s and the "Maybe next time"s. It all comes from my parents.

I can't tell you how disappointed I am in them right now.

I gave them ample notice that we were going to the gun range, but they couldn't be bothered to pull their heads out of their asses and show up.

Saturday I call them to let them know we're headed to lunch and give them and ETA on the gun range. Dad says to let him know well ahead of time when we're headed that way. Didn't I just do that? I basically let him know, through simple math, that in about an hour, we were headed to the range.

Less than a minute later I get a phone call. Mom. And she's coming at me with THE PANIC. "Krit?!? I don't think we're gonna be able to make it to the gun range at 12:30... we're in Texas City... blah-blah Uncle Robert... blah-blah shoes... blah-blah (repeat with variations until you run out of breath)." I feel my butt clenching. Well, we're going to go ahead and be there at 1 (as planned), you just get there when you get there. "I can't hear you." I repeat myself. "I'm... J... I can't understand her... Here Krit... talk to your daddy." I repeat it to dad. He says okay. I bury my face in Bob's shoulder and whine. He says tells me it's okay... he'll get out of the way if he sees the gun heading in my mom's direction. Smart boy.

After lunch I call to tell them we're now on our way to a store to get hearing protection and we'll probably be at the gun range around 1:15... Cool right? They're running behind... we're running behind... Dad says, "Listen... uh... we're not going to make it this time... we just sat down to eat and they haven't brought our food to us yet, and I still have to go to the house, so we wouldn't be able to make it in time. But listen -- you guys maybe want to watch a movie later?"


I was pissed. They bugged me and bugged me and bugged me to meet the asshole I dated a few years ago. A guy that even during our best moments I never liked as much as I like Bob (and he never treated me even 1/100th as well... well, most of you read the 'fuck you' letter already so you know). Here's Bob, actually willing to meet them, and they can't get their shit together. So I had a few thoughts on how they might have done better:

Suggestion 1: If you know you're meeting someone at 1 pm. Don't go way the hell out of the area to do your non-emergency shopping. And don't pretend it's an emergency when it isn't. They're shoes. In fact, maybe you could shop another day. Or here's a third possibility... go shopping after you go to the gun range. You bitch about other people being inconsiderate? Hello pot. Meet the frickin' kettle in the mirror.

Suggestion 2: If you're running behind, don't go to a sit-down restaurant... grab a fucking hamburger. You still get to eat, but it's quicker. It's kind of the considerate thing to do, since we made plans and all. You don't actually have OCD, so you can be a little flexible sometimes.

Suggestion 3: If you're deadset on running errands, stick the damn guns in the trunk... like we did.

Suggestion 4: If you're going to offer lame excuses, don't come back with a different lame excuse later on. It makes me irritable.

On Sunday I show them the target and ask if they want to guess what I was thinking about when I was shooting at it. Mom says, "I just couldn't do it, it's too hot outside and I just couldn't do it." Interesting. That wasn't your original excuse... soooooo maybe you intentionally lolligagged so you couldn't make it and you think I won't put that together... well I've done that before, so now that you mention it... I recognize it. Plus, it's one of your MO's, that and "I don't feel good." Apple don't fall far from the tree, and now I see it for what it is. Then she says, "And your daddy wanted to go, but he was afraid he would be the odd man out." Alrighty. He knows me. He knows Sue Beth. Rusty has never met a stranger. Bob is a great guy, one that he wants to meet. Aaaaaaaaand shooting's kind of a solo sport that you like doing and pester me all the time about. What. The. Hell. ?.

Maybe I'm being too hard on them. I don't know. Am I? I feel like they let me down, like they aren't taking this seriously. Worse, if Bob was supposed to have met up with us, and he offered up those same excuses, mom would take it as a slight and never, ever, ever forget it (I'm not kidding, she's still holding a grudge over a passing comment one of my friends made FIFTEEN YEARS AGO). On the other hand, I've met 90% of Bob's family now. Met his mom, his son, and a few cousins on Friday. (and by the way, they like me... squee!) His son is a cool kid. Came up and started telling me about the bearded dragon in the hallway and then showing us random facts in this book he got. Then he'd pop his head in from time to time just to see what was happening.

I told Bob I was going to rip my parent's a new one, and he said, "There's always next weekend." Kinda deflated my anger bubble... But I'm not feeling charitable toward them. They blew it, so I'm not going out of my way for their benefit. If Bob wants to push the issue I'll do it, but otherwise... (sorry Ms. A), fuck 'em.

I apologize if I'm a little wound up at the moment, my teeth hurt something fierce and it's making me very, very cranky. I almost took out half the drivers on the bypass on my way home because I wanted them to get the hell out of my damn way (according to my friend anyway). New tray today, so pretty much every tooth in my mouth hurts except for one canine and my wisdom teeth. I took a Motrin, but it hasn't quite dulled the pain... Not looking forward to taking them out tomorrow. It's always worst after I've slept in them the first night... feels like I'm about to rip some teeth out, and putting them back on feels pretty rotten too. I hope it's worth it when I'm done, cuz right now I'm not so sure...


300 - It speaks for itself

Don't mess with me beyotches... I'll take you down!

I did alright with my .38. I really rocked it out with Bob's 9 mm though... that grouping near the bullseye is the 9. Woot! I want me one...


299 - The mania of nothing

It's been a long time since I've gone on a real date... I'm actually a little nervous. Which is ridiculous. Because this isn't our first date, it's just that we're going to a nice restaurant... alone... so... But I took my shower and did my hair, slapped on my face and even accessorized. I never accessorize... what the hell is wrong with me??? I'm not even wearing sneakers... nope -- I have on real shoes.

Now I'm waiting. I don't know when he's coming to pick me up exactly. It's like waiting for my birthday party... the mania of nothing.

I bought cake balls for dessert. There's a local sweet shop around the corner, they claim to sell other stuff, but mostly they sell cake balls. Twenty-one flavors of cake balls. I like saying cake balls. I've never had them before, but they look like the best part of cake... a ball of cake surrounded by chocolate. Mmmm... I got red velvet, pretzel, chocolate, almond and strawberry. If Bob is lucky he might even get one.

Tomorrow a group of us are going to a rum distillery. Didn't realize there was one nearby, but there is. Then after lunch it's off to the gun range, where my dad, and maybe my mom, are going to join us. Have I told you my boy ain't scared-a-nuttin'? Can you imagine... meeting my dad for the first time, when my dad has a gun in his hand? Actually I think it's probably a great place for me to introduce them... they both love guns, it's like their 'thing', so I figure they'll be all happy and have lots to talk about. And I'll get to practice my skills. It's been a while since I've shot my gun and I'm probably rusty. I like to do it, but last time, at a certain point I started to freak out a little because of the flames that blast out from the cylinder when you fire... afraid it's going to explode in my hand or something, and it makes me nervous. Hopefully I can get past that and go back to enjoying it like I used to.

Anyhoo... lots of stuff going on, but not much of it that I want to blog about at the moment so.... I'm gonna go find something else to do... Hope everyone has a great weekend!


298 - Wordless Wednesday

Except I can't not say something... (nice use of a double negative huh? next up - a triple!)

This is my neighbor. When I look out my window at work (admittedly, it's a nice perk) I have a pretty nice view... and this guy has been taunting me for the past couple of days. Yesterday I got him with my cell phone, running from me like I'm paparazzi... He's cute. Cuz he's not eating my house. If he were eating my house like he's chomping away at that pinecone I'd pop him between those adorable little eyes and eat him for dinner...

Puppies and rainbows!

Another perk is that we have to take pictures of things at work, so we have a nifty camera with a decent zoom. So today I GOT HIM. Muahahaha...

These are yesterday's cell phone photos. Maximum zoon. Have to say though, loving the clarity, and the sun hit the tree just right so the contrast is pretty cool.

Run squirrely!

The End.


297 - Don't Know What to do

I've been on the go so much lately that it's weird to have... downtime... I didn't do a damn thing yesterday. Well, not outside of the house anyway. I did chores I'd been putting off. Exciting things like dusting, and vacuuming and changing the sheets. That killed about three hours. Oh and I finally cleared the refrigerator of party leftovers. After that I'm not really sure what I did...

Friday I went out to a local bar and watched a friend's band play. Found out it was my neighbor's birthday, and her boyfriend was working all night which left her at the house to celebrate alone. So I got my tab, after 20 excruciating minutes of asking for it... lesson learned, I'll pay as I go at the bar from now on.... and headed to her house with a bottle of wine. Home by 2 am. Very relaxing night, and I had fun... but I find that I miss Bob. A lot. More than I had expected I would, like a physical ache... I'm really, really glad that he didn't take the overseas job, because this distance is already too far. But I'm working within my situation.

Today I've been dealing with some crazy allergies... I feel unmotivated to do ANYTHING. Usually have lunch with mom and dad on Sundays so I don't plan anything, but they went out of town this weekend. So I have been sleeping off and on and I also made a pilgrimage to the grocery store since I haven't been in about 3-4 weeks (except for party supplies). I was miserable. My nose is runny... and then I went to grab a carton of milk, and it was torn open so milk splashed on my face and down the front of my shirt... Good times. I was a happy, happy camper... not only covered in milk but thinking it was probably germy milk that could make me sick if I got it in my mouth... which it did... just a drop... but we saw what happened to Charolotte in Sex and the City... Luckily I seem to have avoided that outcome. I'm sure my fellow shoppers thought I was super sexy with the milk all down the front of my shirt... looked like sweat so I was embarassed but trying not to give a shit because they're all strangers and they mean nothing to me anyway.

I have a friend staying with me for a few days. And Bob is going to try to come down sometime next week. So I think it's good that I got to be lazy for a couple of days, because the pace is about to pick up. I didn't think I'd like that, because I was all about the down time before, but I guess my habits change easily. Now downtime sucks.

God I hope this all made sense... my mind is so not functioning right now... I hate allergies... Hope everyone had a great weekend.


296 - Has it really been a week?

I go away for a few days and when I come back I have more followers... how does that happen? I love it though!

Joan Jett was so much fun. We were pretty close to the stage, and she put on a really good show. She's such a tiny little thing, like a good stiff wind would probably knock her over. Can't be more than five feet tall. Sang all my favorite songs. I screamed my head off. It didn't happen, but when I screamed "WE LOVE YOU JOAN!" I'm gonna pretend she even blew me a kiss. Rowlett was a nice town with lots of water... me likey. What scared me is... I was the one with the sense of direction. When I'M the one you're trusting to get you around town... you are soooooooooooo in trouble... but I did good.

I bonded with my friend's nine year old. Maybe a little too well. I think Stacy was a little sorry she brought me because at one point she was dealing with two nine year olds, and one of them had had a margarita... It was a nice confidence booster because Bob has a nine year old son, and I'm nervous about meeting him. I don't have a lot of experience with kids, and I'm an only child. I usually do okay, but this one is kinda important, you know? That said, the kid loves Harry Potter and his daddy, so we have those two things in common (well, you know what I'm sayin'... I'm not tossing four letter words out there just yet... dangit now I want to change the sentence but it flows so well... buggar, I'm leaving it).

Sunday we made our way to Waco to see the Texas Ranger's Museum. That didn't really float my boat, BUT there was an amazing graveyard just outside that I drooled over. My camera phone irritated me... took this amazing pic of a squirrel sitting on the knot of a tree glaring at me and the phone ate it. If you want really amazing graveyard pics go see Flora Isadora's site (faeries today!), but here's couple of my faves... or at least the ones MY PHONE DIDN'T EAT.

Bob had one hell of a time getting to Austin and got in really, really late, so we basically hooked up Monday and went to this wonderful distillery about an hour outside Austin in Johnson City. He'd planned to go on some bourbon distillery tours when he was in the Kentucky area but got gypped out of them by circumstance, so I went online to see if there was one in Texas and shazam! It is so cool. Garrison Bros. Two guys run it. It's in this picturesque plot of land that I want for my own... God it was nice:

Hummingbird by the eave

And if you like bourbon, it was very tasty. They don't sell the bottles, but they give you a sample. You actually get to taste the mash, the white dog and the final product. I took a couple of sips and gave the rest to Bob... I can drink it and I can appreciate it, but he is the real connosieur.

Then I got to meet some of Bob's family, very nice people, very welcoming. Hung out with them for a couple of hours and he brought me home, all sunburnt and wind ravaged (convertible) but smiling. I'll be honest. I miss the crap out of him already. But it looks like he'll be staying stateside, and better yet, within a reasonable driving distance, so things are managing to work themselves out.

Yesterday I had my 'favorite' exam of the year (happy belated birthday to me) and there were some abnormalities... So for the next month I'm going back so she can keep an eye on things. Doc said not to worry about it. Can't help it. Mom had breast cancer... you say 'lumpy', I worry. I feel like I've been too proud of the girls and I'm being taken down a peg. But that's neither here nor there. It's only been a day and I need to calm the fuck down. I'm going out with friends tonight so that'll keep my mind busy. I'll be fine. I'm sure it's nothing.

Last, but certainly not least... Trixie is back in business. Still some smoke when I park her in the garage but she is like a new car and I'm driving like a lunatic. Bob has a roadster and sort of opened up a whole new sportscar driving reality for me. Downshifting is my new bestest friend... Trixie is certainly pleased and I'm having a blast. Got everything on my list of demands except that I only got one oil change out of it. Well... until Mazda corporate calls me... then we'll see... I'd like five. The manager needs to grow a pair though. I had to call them, which irked me. Then he tells me the service rep was supposed to call me with an update... Um no, a-hole... I asked to speak to the manager... that's you... YOU get to deal with pissed off people like me because this is YOUR service bay. I can't abide that crap. When they brought her around they left running, like I was just going to hop inside and be on my way... I told them to shut her down, the manager was gonna walk me around and show me what they'd done. Bwahahahaa... I really do have this cruel streak in me that I quite enjoy. I just kinda rein it in and only use it on people that deserve it.

OH! Not last! Karma... Almost forgot the karma... There was a lady at work that basically created an issue for me that was the final straw in my decision to step down from management a few months ago. Well... the weekly termination list came out yesterday and her name was at the top of the list. Karma baby. And I almost felt bad for her, except I heard there was some kind of investigation and it ended with security walking her ass out of the building. As Ludacris says (seriously Ms. A, you're going to want to avert your eyes), "Imma tell you one time -- don't fuck with me..." Sigh of contentment goes here X. The world is my oyster and I'm just a nut trying to... hmmm... well... you know what I mean. ;)


295 - I have been remiss

I've had a lot going on. Stepping outside the box really keeps you busy!

So I guess first off... I'm seeing someone. Since we talk for several hours each night, I've been neglecting my blog... and... I'm not really sorry... soooo... sorry for not being sorry but I'm not sorry! LOL He's amaaaaaaaazing and I'm really happy about the way things are going. No one has ever treated me better, and I've never felt so in synch before. He's been in Iraq for the past several months and is slooooooooowly making his way home. But... I will get to see him on Sunday and I'm over the moon about that.

It almost feels too good to be true, but instead of looking at it that way and waiting for the other shoe to drop as I normally would, I'm taking it day by day and looking at it as an 'I can't believe how lucky I am' type of thing... It feels very comfortable to me, not uncertain or scary. I feel like we're pages from the same book, so I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Enough mushy stuff. Stay out of my personal life, nosies... ;)

So... let's see, a friend and I are headed to Dallas on Saturday to see Joan Jett, then Sunday we'll travel to Waco to visit the Texas Ranger's Museum (not the baseball team, the police force) and then she's dropping me off at my... boyfriend's (?) house (sorry, it's a weird word...) and he's bringing me back home on Monday.  So I have a full weekend ahead of me! I've been making good on trying to be more social...

Birthday party was awesome. Had about 30+ people at the house. And then there was a hit and run in front of my house, involving a friend's truck and two of my neighbor's cars. The policeman was a complete a-hole and kept trying to insinuate that my friend backed his truck into my neighbor's car, then... um... came back in my house and just left it there? Then a neighbor mentioned that another car rammed into my friend's truck THREE TIMES and sped off, pushing it into my neighbor's car and sideswiping the other neighbor's car. But they kept saying my friend's truck was in the middle of the street to begin with, and then it got rammed. Bullshit. I thought and thought about it and here's what happened:

My friend parked his truck across the street and down from my house. When the last people left my house at 2, his truck was parked where he left it, and he remained inside my house, talking to me and my friend Debra for the rest of the night. He lives about an hour or so away, so he came with the intention of staying the night and I made the guest bed for him. About 2:15 we heard a series of three engine revs and the screeching of brakes -- but I live next to the main drag so I hear crap like that all the time. 3:15 the cops knock on my door and ask him to step outside.

My friend has a standard. When he parks, he leaves it in neutral and engages the parking brake. If the parking brake wasn't fully functional (1996 lightweight truck) or wasn't fully engaged, the lunatic who hit him would have been able to push him into the street if his wheels were angled out. My neighbor, hearing the noise, looks out the window and YES my friend's truck is indeed in the middle of the street... now... then the lunatic revs his engine and pushes the truck again, repeats it once more and it's pushed into my neighbor's car, then squeezes between the vehicles and flees the scene.

I tried my theory on a cop and he said it sounded plausible except that there would have been more damage to my friend's car. Bullshit. In neutral there doesn't have to be a lot of force exerted to move a truck that size. So we're still ironing that out...

And I'm waiting for a call about my car... my Trixie... Took her to get an oil change last night and some a-hole spilled oil ALL OVER everything under the hood. No one bothered to tell me though. So I get in my car, I'm headed home and I smell something. I'm thinking the car in front of me is really stinking up the place, until I get to a stoplight and see that smoke is coming from under my hood. I figured maybe it was starting to overheat, because she was driving fine... well, there was a moment when I felt my heart drop to my toes because Trixie might have been on fire, but the smoke was light grey and not black so I decided that (probably) wasn't the case. My house was only 3-5 minutes further up the road so I rolled the windows down, turned the A/C off and cranked the heater to draw heat off the engine. Temp gauge was fine though...

Get home, park in the garage, all of a sudden there is smoke pouring in through my vents and my garage is smokey. That happened in under a minute. So I back out... in case she did catch on fire I didn't want to burn the house down, too. I was LIVID.

Popped the hood. Everything under there looked clean. Too clean. Wasn't nearly that clean when I took her in... Talked to (we'll call him Bob instead of boyfriend...) and he asked if the oil cap was on. I love guys who know things about cars... It was on, but I told him everything looked too clean, and a little greasy. Looked like someone took Armor All and wiped it down. He asked me to look at the belts and hoses, maybe they were frayed and that would explain the burning rubber smell. In the course of looking for those I noticed that there were some metal plates that had little beads of motor oil on them (see below). Think I found the problem....

Long story short, I got up this morning at 5:30... ask me how happy I am about that... and had her towed in. Rode in a tow truck so frickin' hot I melted. Waited at the dealership from 6:15 to 7:00 AM, killing mosquitos and getting rained on, until they opened. They said they'd get it cleaned up. I said, "You're gonna do a lot more than that." and slammed my list on the desk:

1. Clean up the oil. Do not burn it off. Clean it up.
2. Your dealership covers the cost of replacing the defective coolant sensor I requested to have replaced in November
3. Full tank of gas
4. Detail it like it's going out on the showroom floor (no fruity, flowery or spicy deodorizers)
5. Top off the fluids like they should have been in the first place (windshield wiper fluid was about 2/3 full)
6. Make sure nothing else was half-assed while in your service bay
7. Disciplinary action against anyone who was involved in attempting to cover up the spill
8. Mazda pays for all future oil changes
9. Loaner car

When I called to check on things (which I shouldn't have had to do... manager was supposed to call me but he apparently has no balls), they said they're doing everything on the list but they didn't mention items 7 or 8. We'll discuss 'em when I pick Trixie up this afternoon... They just don't know me yet...

So... pics of the catastrophe...

Right under the plastic reservoir, next to the black wire you can see oil.

Suspiciously clean and shiny... that's my rotary engine next to the yellow oil cap. There's a plastic cover that normally goes over it and that pulls air over the engine to help keep things cool.

My garage floor didn't used to have oil on it...

Hope everyone has a great weekend!


294 - Guess what?

It's my birthday. At this point I am only three years away from the dreaded 4-0. It's surreal. I'm not freaked out by it (yet), it just doesn't seem like I should be this age... BTW, happy birthday to Laura!

I know I said I wasn't going to blog over the weekend, but I'm at that point in the day where the mania sets in... 5-1/2 hours to go and I've already cleaned the house, my clothes are on, my makeup and hair are done, most of the food is made. I even finished rating all 13,387 songs on my playlist, so the music is ready to go. Now I have cabin fever. My friend Debra is coming around 2 or 3 and we're going to go have some Italian food at an awesome restaurant that recently opened. That'll help. But I still have an hour or so to wait.

I hate waiting.

I try watching tv, and I can't sit still. I try to get on the computer, I keep surfing. I try to play the piano, I play too fast and my fingers trip all over themselves. In short -- manic. Can't find anything to satisfy. I've been like this ever since my first birthday party... it would be better if someone could hide the fact that there's a party from me, so I wouldn't be so antsy.

Got a nice surprise today. My best friend from the 8th grade through college is going to be in town and is going to be able to come and join in the fun tonight. She's awesome. Someone once said that she has a smile that lights up a room as soon as she walks in, and it's true. She's a good egg. I miss her. I miss having a best friend close by. My best friend now is my cousin, but she lives over 600 miles away... can't just call her up to hang out. Anyway, I KNEW sending out those 'no-way-in-hell-can-they-make-it-but-I'm-gonna-invite-them-anyway' invitations would pay off!

Sooooo... yeah... not much going on in my head at the moment that would amuse you, so I should go do something else... and then I'll do something else...


293 - Tar

They're reroofing my building at work. Still working their way around site and repairing damage from Ike...

Let me just say... you never adjust to the smell of tar... It stinks. Plain and simple. And being on the top floor, right next to a window doesn't make it any more pleasant...

So just a few minutes ago the smell was overwhelming. I wanted to stop breathing rather than inhale that putrid stench any longer... it actually sort of burned my lungs a little.

Then, in the midst of it all, I looked up and saw my savior... a giant grey rainy looking cloud. Rain = no roofers. No roofers = no tar.

Unfortunately, I realized it probably wasn't a rain cloud after all. It was just an innocent white cloud that hovered over our building a little too long and turned grey from all the tar.


Hey, it was a really cool week on the blogosphere! First Missy Kimmy dropped by, and now Kate is back to blogging! I like those gals so I just wanted to throw that out there. Now if Kato will pop in we'll come full circle!

Tomorrow is my birthday (and Laura's... please keep your fingers crossed for her... she has the worst luck on her birthday), so I probably won't blog. I'll be busy doing party prep. I love throwing parties, but dang they wear me out... gotta put stuff away, gotta get the cat hair off the floor, gotta clean the guest bath, gotta make the guest bed, gotta make the food, gotta put together a playlist, gotta, gotta, gotta. But then... come party time... I get to relax and enjoy being with my friends. So it's worth it in the end... I think. ;P


292 - Random Facts Re: Moi

Here are some random facts about me:

Mosquito sprayer trucks... terrify me. I don't know what it is about that sound, but I hear it, and I pretty much try to insinuate myself as deeply under the covers as possible and become inconspicuous. It's like I think they're alive... and have super sensitive hearing... because I try not to move... because moving makes sound. Even when you do it really slowly. Breathing also makes noise. So I sometimes stop doing that, too... just until they're out of range... I remember as a kid, playing outside in the summer months, and as night fell, the mosquito trucks would come and I'd have to skitter for the safety of the house. The smell... blech! If that happened to me today I don't know if I could move. I know. That's silly. It's completely ridiculous!... It's no less true.

I can watch Baby Boom, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Look Who's Talking, and Maid to Order over and over and over again and not be bored by the fact that I've probably seen each of them upwards of 20 times. In fact, as I type this, Baby Boom is on cable, and I'm watching it. There's nothing more interesting. Bear? I'd DVR him. Baby Boom is on. Are they great cinema? No. But they're simple to watch and on some level they appeal to me. I love it when JC Wyatt moves to the country. I love the dancing in GJWTHF. I love the humor and the adorable kid in LWT... I'm not quite sure what I love so much about MTO... maybe it's the 'Schoop-Schoop' song. *shrug*

I wrap my bacon slices individually. I know I've revealed this before and it caused great controversy. *mean look* For me, it makes perfect sense. I'm a single girl... and despite how it may look -- I don't (often) eat whole packages of bacon. (by the way, I'm finally into the next size down! but the scale still taunts me) So I wrap a slice or two in aluminum foil and stick it in the freezer. If I want bacon, I grab what I need and the rest is safe as houses in the freezer.

If you thought the great bacon controversy was bad... I wash my hair in the kitchen sink. Go ahead. Scoff. I take a bath at night. If I washed my hair at night and slept on it... it would scare people. Hell, I've seen girls who can wear a ponytail all day and they're hair is stick straight when they take the rubber band out. Me? If I wear it for five minutes, my hair is bendy and uncooperative. Imagine 8 hours of my hair on a pillow! So, each morning, I lean my head over the kitchen sink and wash my hair. I even installed a faucet that sits up higher so I can do it more comfortably. That, and it makes washing lettuce a hell of a lot easier.

I type without looking at the keys. I'm doing it now. Sometimes I can talk and type at the same time. It freaks people out. When I really get going on a numberpad, people have actually come from across the room to watch. I don't know why it's so amazing, but it is. So I'm added it to my random facts. Don't like it? Write your own random facts! Pthbbb.

Um... I guess that's it for now. I'm random facted out... it's sleepy time. First thing this morning when I woke up, I promised myself I'd take a nap when I got home (yeah... it really started out as that kind of day) and that didn't happen, so I'm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... See you on the flip side!


291 - Random

Today I was full of random thoughts:

1) If/when I ever have kids, I'm going to convince them that on their birthdays they should give me gifts and not the other way around. After all, I'm the one doing all the hard work. Now I know you're thinking, 'but that's what Mother's Day is for'... No. Don't think so. If you have two kids you still get only one MD -- how is that fair?

What?... They'll get their big day when Christmas rolls around...

2) Today was the longest day of the year. Unfortunately, the long part happened to me at work and not at home.

3) I was reading an article about how talking on a cellphone, even if you use a hands-free device, can impair your reaction time, and I found two things funny in the first five pages. If you read boring droll informational pamphlets the way I do, they can be quite entertaining:

Something about this doesn't add up:

"Cell phone use has grown dramatically over the past 15 years. In 1995, cell phone subscriptions covered only 13 percent of the U.S. population; by 2008, that had grown to 87 percent."

So I kinda don't know if I can trust the rest of the data in your report... (ironically, even though they're unrelated, 13+87=100...hmmm... is it meaningful?)

And, my brain is being stolen from, just like in Office Space. No wonder my memory sucks!

"Longer reaction time is an outcome of the brain switching focus. This impacts driving performance. The cost of switching could be a few tenths of a second per switch. When the brain switches repeatedly between tasks, these costs add up."

That is all.


290A - This cracked me up

Thanks Jerry! That's a game I could get into, lol.

290 - I met Ms. A!

I just got back from an early dinner with Ms. Anthropy. In case you ever had any doubts -- that is one awesome lady. And she's GORGEOUS! Just sayin'. Jealous much? You should be. Cuz you didn't have dinner with Ms. A, and I did. (have I rubbed it in enough?)

It's been an unusually social week for me. Trying to sort of break out of the box I've put myself in and get out and enjoy the world more. So I went out on Thursday (impromptu happy hour), and I went out on Friday (sort of a high school reunion, and then to see a friend's band), and again today (Ms. Anthropy! Did I mention?). Tonight is a movie night (at home on the couch). I'm pooped.

So in the process of enjoying myself last night, I came home and realized my new phone was no longer in my possession... not a good feeling. I don't have a belt clip for it, so I had it in my back pocket and it must have fallen out, or I laid it on the table and forgot about it. I was pretty panicked... I don't have a landline, so other than email, I have no other means of communication (and replacing it would not have been cheap). I searched the house like crazy, thinking maybe it fell under the couch... I even looked in the refrigerator. It's not like I normally put non-food items in there, but sometimes in movies people miraculously find what they're looking for in the fridge... or they find Zuul... I did grab some water out of it... so you never know... Anyway, I went back to the bar and miracle of miracles, it was there, it wasn't smashed all to hell, and it still works. Phew is not a strong enough word to describe my relief...

Let's see, earlier this week I did my first stint at jury duty. Always managed to dodge it in the past because I was a student, or I moved to another county (not specifically to get out of jury duty... but it was a perk). I got lucky again... Didn't get picked that day, and in our county you have to call in every night until they dismiss you... they didn't call any of us up Monday or Tuesday night, and by Wednesday night they dismissed everyone. Score. And I made $7. I even enjoyed the drive. The traffic was so good that I had to keep my eye on the speedometer or I would have been up to 90 in a heartbeat.

What sucked most was seeing that sign that said, "Hurricane Season is here. Are you prepared?" Waah.

Since it's been so long since I posted last, I'll just respond to the comments from my last post here (saves you a trip):

Sarah - One of the things I love about blogging is that it showed me people can relate to us a lot more than we think they can. I used to be timid about posting some of my thoughts, and then I realized sometimes it's a relief for people to know they're not the only ones that feel a certain way, or they're not the only one who has that fear. It really helped me to become more confident and feel less awkward about myself. So I love comments like yours, because it proves that point. We are rarely alone, there's usually someone who feels the same way. And thank you, the feeling is mutual, you are one cool chica!

ABAO - LOL, I wouldn't even sit and have Breakin' marathons with me! Once every three decades is plenty enough of that! But thank you for the encouragement.

Joe - Damn! I'm a catch! LOL I just see myself differently than others see me, and I feel sort of handicapped when it comes to relationships. Never dated much in high school or college. It's not that I didn't have the opportunity, I was either just too shy to let the guy know I was interested, or too picky. I tend to not bother with a guy unless I see potential in it. If things don't click on enough levels for me, I don't see the point.

Jimmy - I love stories like that. More than you know. It's hard to overcome the fear, but I'm doing my best. Right now I feel pretty good. I feel like I'm on the right path.

Indie-grrl - Thank you for the award and the kind words! It always feels good to hear nice things about the blog. =)

Jen - LOL, I will have to remember that breathing thing, sometimes I forget!


289 - Less thinking, more living...

Somehow I got this idea in my head that everything in my life has to be sorted out before I can pursue the things I want in life. "If I lose 10 lbs...", "If I pay off that debt," "If I save this money," "If I move to a house with more land", "If I figure out where I want to be in life"... I realized that I'm feathering a nest for a future life. I realized that I don't think I can have this life until everything is perfect. I realized I'm not currently living the life I want.

I realized that's bullshit. The longer that kind of thinking continues, the further I'll be from that life. It's a vicious cycle.

I've spent years overanalyzing things... situations... people... I've wasted a lot of time. I've passed up opportunities I may never get again. I've missed some opportunities altogether, because I was too afraid to try or didn't trust my instincts.

Truth be told, I don't think I'm half as cool as other people think I am. Truth be told, I don't see what anyone else would see in me. Truth be told, I am not nearly as confident on the inside as I seem to be on the outside. Truth be told, my life is pretty boring and I feel like a fraud because I can boil 24 hours down to a 5 minute highlight, and most people think I'm interesting. I don't talk about heavy topics, I keep it light. I'm not as deep as people think I am. Not by half. I just know how to nod at the right time or ask the right question. I am semi-impressive because I know a whole lot of insignificant trivia... just enough to skate by, but not enough to be an expert.

I'm so afraid to fail. I'm also afraid not to try. I feel like I'm so close to something, and so far away.

I'm turning 37 in a couple of weeks. I'm ready to settle down. I don't even know where to begin. Well... I do, but that has to work itself out. I suck at relationships though. I don't know what people do all day, what they talk about, how they share a space, how much time do you spend together, how much time do you spend apart... none of it. I think about that stuff too much, maybe because I'm an only child and I've lived on my own for so long... I don't know how to fit other people into my life. I don't know how I did it when I was married, I don't know how I did it the one time I had a roommate. I just... argh!

In short, I'm freaking out. But this time I don't want to run away from it. I want to run towards it. I want to take the risk, because I know I can't lose. But it's out of my hands. I'm trying to stay positive, I'm trying to have faith... it's a battle... optimism is new to me. And I hate feeling neurotic... I'm normally a very even-keeled person, but uncertainty makes me anxious.

I know, I'm talking nonsense again. I'm getting it out of my system. Thank for allowing me that.


288 - Bwahahaha

That's right Obama -- you go on and threaten to kick that ass... (don't stop midstream, there's more...)

And on a serious note, this is more space shuttle stuff. Time lapse photography, gotta love it!


287B - Wahoo!

Got my HTC Incredible Droid phone this afternoon! Was originally bummed that I was paying $149.99 for a phone, but I decided to treat myself this time around and get the state-of-the-art-cool-kids phone. My friend having access to the internet in Florida convinced me of the value of a smartphone, plus this phone is Skype capable, so if I want to talk to people in far away lands, I can do that for free. And I can make my own ringtones. I think. I don't like paying extra for a data plan, but I'm giving in...

So anyway... I was excited, but still bummed about the $150. Somehow though, it ended up costing me $130.49. Not sure how, but I don't mind.

Fast forward to June 8. I received a flyer in the mail, and it quoted a price for the HTC that was $50 less than I paid. I called customer service and they didn't hassle me, they just said that when I received my phone, call back and they would credit my account with $50. Cool. Cost of phone down to $80.49. Then he asked if I wanted to renew for two years... thought that's what I was doing... because there's a $39.99 credit for that (one month's bill). Awesome. Cost of phone now down to $40.50.

Then when I call today, to get my credit, the guy told me there is a $100 gift card rebate, but he tried to convince me that I'd already gotten my $50 rebate. Was still happy, I made $9.50. But I got to thinking, and I think he saw the monthly bill credit and thought that was my 'private sale' credit. So when I submit my rebate, and straighten out the $50 credit... I got my new state-of-the-art-cool-kid phone, and I made $59.50.

Me likey my semi-charmed kind of life. Maybe they know that, in only 16 days, it's my birthday.  ;p

287 - Finding the humor in everything

Walked by the television and they were discussing heavy flooding in central Texas. Not funny.

Then they mentioned that 'all but one section of Schlitterbahn is closed due to the flooding.' Funny.

Mom -- "Hey honey... it's flooding out... wanna take the kids to Schlitterbahn and splash around in the water?"

Dad -- "Nope... not such a good idea... it's likely to be crowded today since all but one section is closed."

Mom (scowling) -- "Okay, I'll put the boat back in the garage... sorry kids, your father just doesn't want to make the effort..."

I mean seriously... I don't know about you guys, but if it's flooding out, I don't really plan on leaving the house unless I have to make a run for it. Schlitterbahn? Not high on my list of priorities...


286 - The Amazing Kreskin

That's me.

Today I saw the orthodontist and got a new tray (henceforth referred to as "tray 2"). You know there's a story...

Someone should tell him that I don't have a sense of humor when it comes to my wisdom teeth. I asked if I should be concerned that neither of the top trays covered my wisdom teeth. He waves me off and says, "Not at all, we're not concerned about those... if they become a problem we'll just pull them!" And he chuckles.

I said, "The hell you will!" A) He doesn't pull teeth, he's an orthodontist. B) NO ONE pulls my wisdom teeth.



Spurred on my outburst, he continues his maniacal laughter. He, mistakenly, thought I was joking.

I left the office, having an internal debate as to whether he was serious or just pulling my leg. Does this guy even have a sense of humor? I don't know... But it stuck in my craw... I began to doubt that he was kidding. He'd better be kidding... because I specifically told him my wisdom teeth weren't coming out before we ever took impressions. So they'd better be part of the treatment plan, or the plan is going to be revised.

So my teeth are a little sore at the moment. The one that hurt most the last time is the one that hurts again this time... taking my tray out feels like I'm going to rip it out by the root. So I'm really enjoying that... And they're concentrating on my molars this time... feels like I have a spring loaded bar pushing against them. Guess they're moving them to make more room for my front teeth to spread out. Satan... The Sadist... The ortho said it may take more than 3 weeks for this tray to do its job because it's a lot more ambitious than the first one was. That's fine.

It's how they get you. The first time doesn't feel too bad... and you get suckered in. Maybe next time will feel better. And then you start to crave the pain...

So anyhoo, my birthday is in 18 days. The more the tray loosens up, the better my mouth feels... the better my mouth feels... the more I can enjoy my birthday (which, again, is in 18 days... in case you missed it...).

Enough of that. My teeth hurt and I get cranky when I think about my wisdom teeth.

So here's a nice factoid: Did you know that I have the ability to control the minds of those around me?

I do. *smugness*

This afternoon I decided that since my teeth hurt, I needed something fairly easy to masticate. Yes -- I planned to go home and masticate. I masticate at work, hell -- I start the day with a little mastication. Anyhoo. I decided on ice cream. Sure I could have gone for soup... or even mashed potatoes... but ice cream has calcium and calcium is good for teeth. Don't worry -- I stopped by the salad bar beforehand.

That said, I didn't get just any ice cream. No sir. I got Marble Slab ice cream. An ice cream so delectable that, upon sampling it's creamy goodness, my friend Brian, who lives far, far away, asked if I could mail it to him at some point. They were here a week and we went twice. If we'd gone earlier in the week we probably would have gone every day.  Rum with chocolate chips mixed in, in a chocolate waffle bowl -- that's all I'm sayin'.

So I'm waiting in line and I look at the guy in front of me. "Sweet Cream," I think to myself. "This guy looks like he's totally into Sweet Cream."

So, of course he ordered Chocolate Swiss.

Hmph. What does he know? He's wrong! My mind is screaming out, "Nooooo! Sweet Cream, ya moron!"

The guy behind the counter asks if he wants mix-ins. Of course he wants mix-ins... everyone wants mix-ins... I'm feeling a little disappointed. But I should never doubt myself. After all -- I'm almost always right...

So then it happened... my influence finally took control of this meat puppet... He said, "I'm sorry... can I change my order?... I'd like Sweet Cream instead."

YES!.... I knew he was a Sweet Cream kind of guy...

Soon I shall take over the world... Narf!


285 - LMAO

This is (mostly) for the ladies... this made me laugh my ass off... I can't believe she did it on camera, but I admire her for her candor! We could hang out.


283 - Free Software and Camera from Office Depot & A Talented Kid

If you're interested check out the deal here. I did it a slightly different way. If you go to EVReward.com there are cameras you get for free after $75 in purchases rather than $100. And I used Bing to get 7% cash back rather than 2%. Good deal!

Also, I'm a little late to the party, but oh my GOD is this kid talented! The emotion in his voice is amazing. I would seriously buy a record if he puts one out.

I know it's silly to compare him to Robert Pattinson... but if you've heard Let Me Sign... it's amazing. Don't scoff. Part of it is seeing the scene in Twilight that it's a part of, but the emotion in the song is just... ahhhh... So anyway, this kid's voice gets to me. That's all I'm trying to say.

283 - Hot as Hades

I hate summertime. I know people who look forward to it (I call them 'the crazy people') but I don't. The thermometer in my car has been registering triple digits for a couple of weeks now. Temperatures should be no higher than two digits in length and not exceed 82. Period. I think if I put something on the grill, and didn't even light a fire under it, it would cook anyway. Because it's hot. I can literally feel my skin burning if I open my sunroof. It's not a good feeling.

Just so we're clear. It's hot.

Since we're talking about hell. I've figured something out:

This is hell. We're already here. We've all been very, very bad, and we have been put in this place to redeem ourselves. If we learn our lessons and make our atonements, we may leave this place and move up a level, or if we don't... further down we go... until we share a suite with Hitler.

That's my theory. Otherwise, life wouldn't be so frickin' hard for everyone!

Just sayin'.