150 - Recycling

Allow me to present to you, my Sixth Annual Eagerly Anticipated Virtual Christmas Card (or Fifth Annual Eagerly Anticipated Virtual Christmas Card version 2.0)

My how time has flown… Reminds me that it’s almost time to let something else fly… that’s right kiddies -- it’s Christmas time again, and soon Santa’s sleigh will begin blanketing the sky with some nasty greenhouse gases as he makes his way around the world performing home invasions and eating you out of house and home. Well Santa may not give a fig about Mother Earth, but I’m certainly not willing to play a role in the destruction of our planet, so I’m doing green one better… not only am I sending a virtual card -- I’m recycling last year’s virtual card… Unfortunately my Christmas creative-tree has remained bare, and I’m afraid that it’s this or nothing (if you’d hoped for nothing I think the Stones said it best: You cain’t always get whatcha want):

Time to overextend the bank account and the waistline, fight traffic in the malls and on the roads, and most importantly - turn on the tv and watch Rudolph forgive that raging anti-dentite we call Santa... all so he can lead the sleigh on Christmas Eve and the little boys and girls of the world can run around the house with yet another, more expensive version of the Elmo doll... which (I'm sorry to say) will be recalled in January. It's a message we would all do well to heed... no matter how poorly someone has treated you, whether they laughed or called you names, if you have a red shiny nose (and who doesn't at this time of year?), forget about all that and think of the greater good. It warms my heart... there are a lot of suckers out there.

Also, let it be a reminder to us all that dental visits are of the utmost importance. Schedule yours while you can still afford the dental insurance.

And now... my holiday wishes to you... from the very... very... very… bottom of my heart (I'm reaching down further than I ever have before).

· In past AEAVCC’s I have wished you luck to win the lottery… well, I wish one of you would win the dang lottery already. They say that if you believe in yourself you can do anything you set your mind to, but apparently I have a lot of non-believers on this distribution list because this is the sixth year and no one has said "Yay-hoo! I done won me some money!" Come to think of it... a couple of you do seem to have disappeared. That really hurts guys... I’d share with you… and I can say that with complete honesty since I can never remember to play the lottery myself.

· I hope that each of you finds peace and contentment in the coming year. In that vein, I've heard that a) it's better to give than receive and b) giving makes you feel good. Not being a selfish person I'm willing to receive gifts of up to $5,000 from each of you so that you can feel better about yourselves... hell, we’re in a recession, I’d wouldn’t turn my nose up at $1,000… and if you feel like giving more - spectacular! I also accept gift cards and travel vouchers.

· Watch out for those sleighs! If our morning safety moments are any indication I'm surprised anyone ever makes it to work alive. Good luck to you all (and stay away from my car)!

· I hope it drops below 60 for Christmas...

· May your gas bill always be lower than your IQ... I think most of you are safe... for those that aren’t, you probably won’t get the joke anyway.

· And finally, since it's the thought that counts, I want you to know that I'm thinking of each and every one of you. You're welcome. *hugs*

Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Happy Holidays, Happy New Year, and Happy Birthday Christa and Beth and Kato (I know it already happened, I'm just sayin').


  1. Merry Christmas and happy holidays Kristy!

    I'm sorry, but I don't have a 1000$ to give you...how about my unconditional love? :D
    (you said yourself that it's the thought that counts!!)

    Sarah xxx

  2. Hilarious, as always. Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

  3. Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and if I win the lotto, I'll give you 1 MEEEELLLION dollars. How's that?

    And oh yeah...my comments are starting to end up in the spam filter. You using gmail as well?


  4. Sarah - I can't ask for much more, and in this economy that's much more valuable =)

    L&L - Thank you, and buon natale to you guys!

    Ian... something to consider... what if you only win $80? Do I still get the meeeelllion? Oh I get it... meeeelllion... it's not a real word is it? So you're just yankin' my chain! That's mean Ian... mean! lol

    I use yahoo. I don't know what the deal is... it was just one or two days and now all is right with the world of comments again.

  5. Well...turns out I didn't win the $100 million last night. Dammit.

    You didn't like my Austin Powers reference?
    How dare you!

    Whoops...where's my xmas spirit? Ahem. "Deck the Halls with blah blah blah blah....fa ra ra ra ra ra ra ra rahhhhh"

    lol you know you love that movie! (Christmas Story)

  6. awesome! soooooo funnny!!!!!

  7. Tease. And yeah, I love AP... actually not a fan of Christmas Story though. I'm sorry if this means we can't be friends... I didn't grow up watching it and seeing it for the first time as an adult probably didn't do it justice -- in fact, I mailed my copy to my cousin because she only had it on VHS. It had its moments though. My favorite funny one is National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation... can't beat it.

  8. Ok...I'll let you slide. Just this once!

  9. Anytime going green and doing something on the lazier side of things line up, I'm there. I'm a big believer in the power of virtual cards myself.

    FYI, that lottery will be mine.

    I don't want to divulge too much information, but I have it on good authority that I've won an overseas lottery, and all I have to do is send a few hundred dollars to claim it.

    Have a merry Christmas.

  10. Well, even the domestic lottery requires an investment... good luck! lol

  11. Aww thank you for the birthday wishes! It was a good day, and now I can finally be excited for Christmas!

    Loved this post! I wish all the same for you!