141 - The mourning after

I reek of cigarette smoke from last night... my hair is so odor absorbent that it's going to take at least a couple more washings to get it out. Nothing against smokers, it was my choice to stand in the garage and chat up the hot guy, I just don't want smoke in my hair when I leave... I wish there was a Febreze for hair. It's making me ill...

I'm 36 years old and I think I'm just now figuring out how the world works. It started with the car dealership... if you don't want a car, they'll practically throw one at you, so hold out, and hold out some more. Now I think I'm figuring guys out (lol, hold out, and hold out some more!). Here's where it started: Coming home from Scotland I was wearing a t-shirt, I had my hair in a ponytail, I had red eyes and I was disheveled from being awake and travelling for 24 hours, not to mention the dark circles resultant from the stress of trying to get my cousin out of her predicament in DC... in other words I was what my cousin would call a 'hot mess'. So what happens? I get on the plane and meet a very cool guy. We had a great conversation and it was hands down the best plane ride I've ever had. He gave me his business card and later found me on Facebook. Very flattering. The moral of the story is: it amazed me that, grungy as I was, anyone would find me attractive at that point in time.

Last night... similar situation. I decided I was leaving the house as-is. No shaving the legs. No plucking the eyebrows. No styling the hair. No fancy clothes. Just me in a ponytail, a concert tee, jeans, my tennis shoes and some perfume (I think Glow must have magic in it). Got to the party, felt very awkward, but luckily I met a couple of women to pal around with and eventually caught my stride. Girl power! I originally figured I would stay for an hour or two and ended up staying for eight... so I had a good time (eight jello shots, a shot of tequila, and several margaritas might have had something to do with it) Anyhoo... I met a guy. He thought I was 24... I never get tired of hearing that (I actually hear it a lot (24-28), so he wasn't just feeding me a line, case in point, as I was leaving a woman said the exact same thing and I know she wasn't trying to get into my pants... or at least I don't think so...). All that aside, here I am again, not making any effort -- truth be told I was even feeling a little grungy... and here comes a guy. Maybe he'll call, maybe he won't, but in any case, it was nice to feel attractive.

Oh! Before I forget... Tom Tom got me there without incident. Yea for Tom Tom. Sorry. Back to my story.

It kind of sucks to be divorced (this thought is actually the result of a survey I took, not the guy). Any time I have to classify myself, I'm now 'divorced' instead of just 'single'. And no matter how long I've been divorced (12 years now), I will never be truly 'single' again. At least we're amicable. I see too many people who get divorced and hate each other's guts. We don't hang out or anything like that, but we'll email every once in a blue moon, like I'll say, 'Hey, Legend of the Seeker's based on that series of books you introduced me to, have you seen it?', and he'll say, 'I don't watch tv, and anyway I stopped reading it because it's misogynistic...', so I'll scratch my head since more than half of the main characters are strong, independent women... and then I'll remember why we didn't make it... we think very differently about a lot of things.

Ah well.

I got up at 7 am, and have done nothing productive as of yet (I have a wee bit of a hangover), so I'm going to get off the computer and go scrub the kitchen floor. The edges where the floor intersects with the cabinets is grungy and it grosses me out... Today I shall be Cinderella... such a glamorous life I lead...


  1. well as for you being divorced, you could still be married to the guy! UGH! HAHA. I hate ciggie smoke! As a former smoker I am so sensitive to the odor and can not stand it:( blech Alas, the pursuit of a hottie often leads us down an alternate path reaking of smoke, beer, smeared eyeliner, and ending with a walk of shame hahahahaha

  2. I am really starting to think we are the same person. Anytime I have ever met someone significant I have been a grungy lady. I think that if those guys can find you interesting while you are a grunge queen, those are the ones to keep.

    As for being a divorcee, your status is all in who you put forth right? If you want to just single, then that's what you are girlfriend!

    If you don't feel comfortable erasing a significant part of your past, embrace it! Say that you are divorced with your head held high and a happy smile on your face! You've obviously earned the right to stand tall about it.

    Loved this post. I loved your honesty.

  3. LM - Ha! No walk of shame (this time). It's been a while since I've been to a bar so I've gotten unaccustomed to the smokey smell and it's especially bad... I put my pillow case in the wash this morning so it'll be clean tonight!

    Kato - Hmmm... both our names do start with K... could be, but then I'd be talking to myself... and writing a damn awesome blog under the pen name of Pandorah... and maintaining a separate residence in another country... which is all cool, but... that would mean... oh my god I cheated on my boyfriend last night...

  4. Let me give you a guy perspective or at least this guy's perspective. Back in the day when I was "running around",I much preferred to talk to the girl that was "natural". If they are unconcerned with their image so much then maybe just maybe they give a crap about something other than perfume, reality tv and what's on the ipod.

    side note...I've heard that an oatmeal shampoo will get the scent of cigarettes out of the hair really well. :)

  5. Ironically I used some oatmeal shampoo, and it did seem more effective!