140 - Par-tay

About to head out to a Christmas party... going to rely on Tom Tom to guide me (lord help me). I'm not going to get spiffed up for the occassion, just going to go as I am... although I will swap the fuzzy red slippers for tennis shoes... and the pajama bottoms for jeans... but other than that, just as I am.

I always get anxious when I go to parties unless I know a good portion of the people there. At this one I only expect to know about 4, and only 2 well... so... anxious. I'm sure I'll have a good time though, and it's close by, which has nothing to do with anything except that anything in a 5-minute radius is A-#1 in my book.

Did a little shopping at the drugstore this afternoon, had a 20% off coupon in addition to manufacturer's coupons, so I saved about $20. Woot! Bought my Sunday paper, so I spent two hours clipping coupons... it's a mindless task that I enjoy, much like hand washing my dishes.

Saw the most disturbing movie last night. Jack Ketchum's The Girl Next Door. What a depraved piece of cinema... It's about a girl who is tortured, raped, cut, and has her clit burned off with a blowtorch, by her aunt, while a group of neighborhood kids watched. Took place over a period of days, so the kids came back every day. Sound good? Apparently some of the IMDB commentors think so. It blows my mind that they wondered why it was classified as a horror movie... that they claim it was on the same level as a Lifetime movie. It was most certainly NOT, it was far more explicit in every way. What disturbs me the most is that the actors are primarily children (I'm guessing aged 7-14, and the actor who played the victim was supposedly 18), and say what you will, this kind of plot line has to affect the actor on some level, especially those too young to really understand. Also disturbing is that the film is based on a true story.

I didn't catch the first 30 minutes, so I missed out on how she ended up hanging by her wrists in the basement, but nothing good happened from the moment I flipped to the station, until the movie was over. I kept waiting for something redeeming. A lesson. A survival even. I got sucked into wondering how much further they were going to take it, hoping they would stop at some point... stunned at the nudity, the sexual situations, the language... the children...

The film's supporters try to defend it as a film that will open your eyes to the depravity of the human condition. They say the story is so powerful that we need to see these things as they happen, otherwise we can't understand it. I don't need to see it all to understand. In my world there is more value in the suggestion of a thing than the explicit showing of it. In fact, my mind can come up with pretty explicit images, but at least the children in my head aren't real, and I can look away if I want.

I don't understand why it was necessary. I don't actually understand why I continued to watch except that I was shocked and wanted to know that there was an uncrossable line that they would back away from... but they didn't. Watch if you want, but if you do, it'll leave scars.


  1. I hope you have fun at your party! I get anxious too, having to go to places like that :)

    And umm wow. I am pretty much into gore and nothing really shocks me anymore, but that movie sounds disturbing.

  2. It really was... it is the most disturbing thing I can recall watching, on a deep, fundamental level.

    So... interesting... go out... don't even think about meeting a boy... don't make an effort... don't give a shit... meet a boy... good party (with or without the boy).