286 - The Amazing Kreskin

That's me.

Today I saw the orthodontist and got a new tray (henceforth referred to as "tray 2"). You know there's a story...

Someone should tell him that I don't have a sense of humor when it comes to my wisdom teeth. I asked if I should be concerned that neither of the top trays covered my wisdom teeth. He waves me off and says, "Not at all, we're not concerned about those... if they become a problem we'll just pull them!" And he chuckles.

I said, "The hell you will!" A) He doesn't pull teeth, he's an orthodontist. B) NO ONE pulls my wisdom teeth.

No.

One.

Spurred on my outburst, he continues his maniacal laughter. He, mistakenly, thought I was joking.

I left the office, having an internal debate as to whether he was serious or just pulling my leg. Does this guy even have a sense of humor? I don't know... But it stuck in my craw... I began to doubt that he was kidding. He'd better be kidding... because I specifically told him my wisdom teeth weren't coming out before we ever took impressions. So they'd better be part of the treatment plan, or the plan is going to be revised.

So my teeth are a little sore at the moment. The one that hurt most the last time is the one that hurts again this time... taking my tray out feels like I'm going to rip it out by the root. So I'm really enjoying that... And they're concentrating on my molars this time... feels like I have a spring loaded bar pushing against them. Guess they're moving them to make more room for my front teeth to spread out. Satan... The Sadist... The ortho said it may take more than 3 weeks for this tray to do its job because it's a lot more ambitious than the first one was. That's fine.

It's how they get you. The first time doesn't feel too bad... and you get suckered in. Maybe next time will feel better. And then you start to crave the pain...

So anyhoo, my birthday is in 18 days. The more the tray loosens up, the better my mouth feels... the better my mouth feels... the more I can enjoy my birthday (which, again, is in 18 days... in case you missed it...).

Enough of that. My teeth hurt and I get cranky when I think about my wisdom teeth.



So here's a nice factoid: Did you know that I have the ability to control the minds of those around me?

I do. *smugness*

This afternoon I decided that since my teeth hurt, I needed something fairly easy to masticate. Yes -- I planned to go home and masticate. I masticate at work, hell -- I start the day with a little mastication. Anyhoo. I decided on ice cream. Sure I could have gone for soup... or even mashed potatoes... but ice cream has calcium and calcium is good for teeth. Don't worry -- I stopped by the salad bar beforehand.

That said, I didn't get just any ice cream. No sir. I got Marble Slab ice cream. An ice cream so delectable that, upon sampling it's creamy goodness, my friend Brian, who lives far, far away, asked if I could mail it to him at some point. They were here a week and we went twice. If we'd gone earlier in the week we probably would have gone every day.  Rum with chocolate chips mixed in, in a chocolate waffle bowl -- that's all I'm sayin'.

So I'm waiting in line and I look at the guy in front of me. "Sweet Cream," I think to myself. "This guy looks like he's totally into Sweet Cream."

So, of course he ordered Chocolate Swiss.

Hmph. What does he know? He's wrong! My mind is screaming out, "Nooooo! Sweet Cream, ya moron!"

The guy behind the counter asks if he wants mix-ins. Of course he wants mix-ins... everyone wants mix-ins... I'm feeling a little disappointed. But I should never doubt myself. After all -- I'm almost always right...

So then it happened... my influence finally took control of this meat puppet... He said, "I'm sorry... can I change my order?... I'd like Sweet Cream instead."

YES!.... I knew he was a Sweet Cream kind of guy...

Soon I shall take over the world... Narf!