264 - An argumentative SOB

Today I was introduced (once again) to 'how not to argue if you want people to listen to a damn thing you're saying':

1) Take the meat of what the person you're arguing with says, slightly twist it into something you know they didn't mean, confront them with it an agressively argumentative manner.
2) Season with a thinly veiled insult
3) Sprinkle with rhetoric
4) Insult them again, but make it more obvious (because they're so stupid that they probably missed it the first time)
5) Refuse to accept defeat, even when you are 100% wrong
6) Make it personal
7) Make everything literal, even if it gets ridiculous
8) Keep going like a demonic Energizer bunny intent on getting the last word in - post, post, post!
9) Argue with EVERYONE (no one can accuse you of discrimination!)
10) Call the other person names and then accuse them of introducing emotion into the argument while you are 'merely stating facts'
11) Fail to recognize that you are a hypocrite

I'm sure there are several additional ways to do this (in)effectively, but I think that covers the basic of How to Debate Like An Ass Clown 101. We hope you've enjoyed our crash course. Stay tuned for future episodes.