253 - Curiousity and thinking ahead

I actually wrote a little bit last night! To clarify, it was a story I wrote, not a blog. As always seems to happen, I'm in bed, attempting to fall asleep and BLAMMO, scene plays out in my head. I've learned from experience that believing I can remember it the next day, and actually remembering it the next day, are two completely different things. For this reason, I have a notebook and pen right next to the bed (it saves me a lot of unnecessary crying the next day). I didn't turn the light on to write, so God only knows if I can even read what I took the time to jot down, but it's in there... somewhere.

As part of my writerly tendencies, I am curious. I problem solve. A lot. And the internet is a perfect tool to sate that curiousity. Since my burgeoning story revolves around (what else?) the Apocalypse (a pandemic... and by the way, I'm so very glad I found another completely-new-not-overdone-in-anyway-idea to make up for that vampire novel I wasted my time writing last year...) I have been thinking through different scenarios. What would I need to have on hand? Without the internet, where would I get my information? Anyhoo, long story shor-- sorry, too late for that... I googled 'rifle' to see where I could buy a rifle. Rifles are good for hunting, they are also good for protection. No harm, no foul. I figure you can get them at Academy or Sports Authority or WalMart (hiss), but I really don't know since I've never shopped for one.

So to refresh your memory -- I googled 'rifle'.

Later this evening I was about to google 'how to pick a lock' and 'how to hotwire a car'. But just before I started typing in the box, I realized that (if the internet police are out there, and they are indeed watching), looking up 'rifle', 'how to pick a lock' and 'how to hotwire a car' in succession over a short period of time might not look particularly good...

Obama spoke to us from KSC today. Coincidentally I hear he is attending a democratic fundraiser in Miami later this evening, maybe that's why he seemed so distracted. Or maybe it's just arrogance. *shrug* If you're curious, here are the highlights:
  •  Obama is relatable: He proved that by announcing that he likes Tang. That kind of thing certainly resonates with those of us who work at NASA. We're all about the Tang. In fact, I have to insert the Tang IV in order for my computer to boot. No Tang, no computer. By the way IV stands for 'intravenous,' not 'four'... but maybe Tang IV will be the name of the next spacecraft... "Space -- brought to you by... Tang." It'll look like a race car, covered in ads from sponsors... Or maybe... maybe he tricked us, and he doesn't really like Tang... he likes 'tang... no wonder he smirked at us after he said it...
  • No one – not the people at NASA, not even the astronauts themselves – no one cares more about human exploration than Barack Obama.
  • Apparently Bolden is quite the interior decorator. Mr. Obama thanked him for helping decorate his office... not the oval one, the one just outside that. You see, Bolden flew on the mission that put Hubble in orbit, and Barack has a picture of one of the planets on his wall.
  • Favorite quote: Buzz Aldrin is in the house.

The rest of the speech came out of his ass. I think we missed an opportunity. It goes something like this:

We have the shuttle on the launchpad. We ask, "Mr. President *cough* would you like to have a look inside the shuttle?" He says, "That'd be great, because no one cares more about human exploration than I do." We'd laugh, not because it's funny, but because he doesn't know that we know that he's lying through his teeth. But we know. So he goes inside. He sees Biden and Pelosi, then he sees two crates: one labelled Democrats, and one labelled Republicans, and he knows he's been had! He starts running for the door. But before he can escape -- we shut the door. We're go for launch. We're retiring the shuttle anyway, it's like pushing an old Eskimo out to sea on an ice drift. Two birds. One stone. One giant bipartisan celebration! Sure they'll eventually come back down... but where?

...Crap. Now I've put 'Obama' and 'rifle' in the same blog. It was nice knowing you guys. I'll be in Levinworth if you need me...

P.S. I was recreating the kiss and blow pop scenario, but this time I gave them both kisses. Unfortunately my fingertip grazed one of the blowpops and the wrapper was sticky. So I said, "Ew... it's sticky." Only this time I MEANT TO DO IT! HA! I WIN!


  1. Absolutely great idea for that launch!

  2. Nice Kristy, I so want to watch that launch :^)

  3. That shuttle plan is one of the greatest ideas ever.

    I know what you're saying about the searches too. All the things I look up, I'm sure to be flagged. Plus I like to freak out my mother who gets worried about the keywords thing when we're talking over the phone. I'll just start throwing out random words like 'bomb' or 'assassin.'

    In my defense I'm childish.

    Oh, I can survive a pandemic. I got all the herbal medical skillz. And I know things like what essential oils can kill the plague. I'm that kind of awesome. lol

  4. Ms. A / Jimmy - I put your name on the guestlist! (but it will mostly likely be the 'who can visit me in prison' guestlist)

    TS - Okay, pinky promise that once we survive the pandemic, we'll find each other. I do have a stash of razors after all. Very useful in the new world. =) Oh, and that Buck 119. When all's said and done, I can cut (or shave) a bitch!

  5. Maybe we can just put them in a simulater, and make them THINK it is a real launch. Then we can never let them out. What are they gonna do, try to open the door?

  6. Joe - I like your thinking! Would you like to join my cabinet?

  7. You do seem to know a whole LOT about the apocalypse, since you're so prepared for it..I can't wait to see what you're going to write on this!!:D

    You realle made me laugh with the google word search..some combinations could have people wondering (police Internet?):P

  8. *sipping some Tang Four with an extended pinky, observing from a distance*

  9. Sarah - Yeah... it's a curse, this obsession... and I think about things like that all the time -- I 'what if' myself to DEATH

    Flora - Perfect!

  10. Obama and Rifle? Just thought I'd add it one more time so this post is sure to end up in the search engines.... lol