235 - Cleaning out my drawers

I'm getting a new computer at work. Last time they 'refreshed' me I had a ton of music on my computer and it took about six hours for them to copy and move all of my files -- I don't want to be yelled at again... So this time I'm cleaning up my hard drive a bit (drawers sounded cheekier... like a cheek-ky mon-key... would you like to see my drar-rings?... sorry, old SNL bit). In my defense, if I had known it was going to cause problems I would have gladly scrapped all the music and reloaded it myself later...

Sorry, I'm babbling. It's been known to happen. Perhaps my mother should have named me Brooke... and there I go again (on my own... travelling down the only road I've ever known... yeah, that random song thing happens a lot, too... I'm done now).

So while I was going through my personal files and transferring photos onto a thumb drive, I found some other files...

This is one such file.

It seems that a crazy woman was stalking one of my guy friends and I decided to help him out with some highly believable excuses that would get her off his back without her knowing it's what he wanted all along... Reading it might bring to mind a recent blog by Robyn... but I wrote it about five years ago and it's not at all the same... okay, I just wanted to give props to Robyn for making me laugh so hard. Without further adieu (adieu, to you and you and you):

1. I can’t go out with you right now… but in a couple of weeks my outbreak will have subsided and the doctor said it’ll be okay.

2. I shouldn’t have led you on, it’s just that my sister and I were fighting and I seriously thought it was over between us...

3. My mom said she went to high school with you.

4. I’m doing a drag show this weekend, would you like to come?

5. I’ve given myself to the church, specifically to Father O’Hara of the church.

6. I’d love to hang out with you, but since I’m returning to my home planet soon, it wouldn’t be fair to you.

7. I can probably schedule you sometime next month. I’m pretty booked, but I think I can sandwich you in between Debbie and Diane…

8. I’m a perfectionist with OCD, and you screwed everything up when you put the chocolate Tootsie Roll pop in the middle of two cherry Tootsie Roll pops, they should have all been red, lined up evenly, and facing the same way.

P.S. You might be asking yourself, "Self? I wonder how it is that Kristy has all these random songs and quotes and innuendos and such running through her head all the time and it doesn't just drive her crazy?" Well, dear reader, it does drive me crazy. For instance, I've had the Operation Repo theme song, the short one just before they go to commercial, running through my head for about two days now. Most any time there is silence in the room, I hear it -- especially when I'm trying to sleep. Over and over. Like right now? I hear it. AND in some bizzarro fashion, I'm not singing it, but my throat acts like I'm singing, the throat muscles constrict as if I'm singing it, so it makes my throat sore. Freaky, yes? It's really very annoying. So count yourself lucky if you don't have to contend with it. Oh and, whatever you do, don't think about elephants.


  1. You are hilarious. Love the one about the drag show. LOL.

  2. There you are! I was getting worried and thought I was going to have to give you a little motherly boost to the buttocks. (not that it ever worked with my kids)

  3. I like the randomness you put forth. And I know what you mean, cause I gots a huge mess of randomness in my own head.

    I really love your blog. This was a very hilarious post. Even without the funny excuses. Going from the Mike Meyers skit to Sound of Music? Awesome.

  4. I love your random babbling. I have random thoughts in my head all the time. I just transfer them to my blog for the whole world to view.

    My drag show is next week.
    Thanks for becoming a follower of Just the Cheese.

  5. How do you sleep at night with all that random stuff banging around inside your head? Do you find yourself waking up in the middle of the night and fighting the urge to post something right then? Maybe that would be a cool idea...we should all do it...just wake up and post something.

  6. If you weren't random, I would think that something was wrong...I loved those excuses..will have to pass that on to my brother (he tends to get an occasional stalker).

  7. You are hilarious! That was a great list. And random and babbling equals great times!

  8. You are cute and funny!

    Thanks for the elephant visual.

    "So long, farewell..."

  9. Oh, we've always known that you're crazy Kristy! lol

  10. Hahahah!! You are too funny! Oh god, so embarrassing but I get stupid songs and sayings and jingles and everything in my head all the time, only I feel like I have to click the song in my throat. Not wanting to be annoying, it is a quiet, very controlled click. Man I am a weirdo!