218 - If life were a horror movie, Kristy'd be dead

Was in the bath last night when I heard some ripping sounds. Chastised myself for not having trimmed the hedges outside my bedroom because it sounded like a tree limb had bested the screen and was ripping the hell out of it... This is why in a horror movie... I'd be dead. I don't investigate things I should... I investigate things I shouldn't...

Once I got dressed, I peeked out the blinds and it didn't look like there was a rip. Odd. But lucky... It did cross my mind that someone was ripping my screens trying to get to the window but I dismissed the idea. They were being too loud... unless they wanted me to hear them.

Then as I'm sitting in the living room I begin to hear more odd noises. They come from the front door... I grab the gun (just in case), turn the porch light on, and look through the peep hole... nothing... scratching outside the guest bath... must be the bushes scraping against the window... it's windy out there... but this is getting weird... again by the front door... glad I didn't watch Paranormal State or I Survived... And finally... a familiar scuffling and scratching above my head... (look away Ms. Anthropy) bastard fuckers... raccoon in my damn attic again.

I hate raccoons.

Tonight dad came over, stuck a radio in the attic, and put some vent covers on the side of the house where the 'coon got in. We're hoping it's outside hunting and will come back tonight, encounter the screens and go 'WTF?... Evicted...' and move on.


Am trying my best to blow off working out tonight... it's 8 o'clock... it's a slippery slope... can't do it... gonna get off the computer and sweat a little... but I'm sooooooooooooooo tiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiired...

Oh, one last thing, made an appointment with the orthodontist for next Tuesday. They're going to take impressions of my teeth, send them off to the lab and then I guess in a month (?) I'll have my braces! Woot!


  1. Thank God it was only a raccoon. Of course, if it HAD been an intruder, I suppose you would have fed him a bullet sandwich, right? I know I would. ;)

    I hope the little bastard fucker stays away!

  2. That headline alone made me laugh. I hate\love raccoons. They should be like pretty kittens, but they're mean little buggers. You have a gun? Doesn't that change the horror rules?

  3. Terry - Yeah, or at least I would have tried. I've never shot a moving target, just stationary pig targets.

    TS - Too often I think of my life as a horror movie. Seriously. And yeah, I do have a gun. I'll have to post about my crazy ex-neighbor to explain why... don't be too complacent... sickos aren't just on tv.

  4. Creepy noises late at night are scary...must be even worse if you are alone.
    I assume since you 'pack' you know how to use it. Good for you, I am proud of you.

  5. Dang it Kristy, thanks for the warning! Was afraid if I looked away, I might miss something. I plowed right through the muck and made it to the other side, soap in hand.

  6. Don't worry you were safe all along....Unless.....you went outside in only underwear after having just gotten out of your 30 minutes extremely steamy shower...THEN you would have been in some serious Poo....

    Bastard fucker?? I think that I have found a new favorite term...Thanks...

    Hope you made it through the exercise cause I know you really really wanted to deep down... Still cheering you on cause I know that you are serious about it!!

  7. Forgot to mention that bath doesn't count..it must be a shower for it to work...

  8. That damn raccoon!!!! Seriously if "Paranormal State" had been on OMG I would have been scared to death!!!! BTW do you watch "Ghost Hunters"? It is back on tonight from Alcatraz

  9. Did you trip? Girls inhorror movies always trip!

  10. You should make sure you don't have a pack of baby raccoons in your attic....

    A few years ago, my mother was in her backyards watering her flowers when she heard scratching under a pot.... She tipped the pot over and found a raccoon on its hind legs baring its teeth and hissing at her.... She almost peed herself....

    I don't think Jillian cares if you're tired! Don't tell her.... I watched 'Biggest Loser' last night.... She is not very tolerant.

    Are you getting invisalign? Are we going to get to see pictures of you in headgear?

  11. Ewww I don't really like raccoons, skunks and the other animals that sneak around here at night! Like ABAO said, hopefully, it isn't a female raccoon that had little babies...

    Yay on your braces!!:D

  12. Oh god! I would have pooped myself!! And then I would have tried to rescue the raccoon and turn it into one of my own. Hahah!

    I hope that the vents worked!