223 - Stuff and Such

As I was checking out at Walgreens this morning, a guy walked up behind me, and suddenly I smelled a fart. Well... at first I thought it was a fart... but then... he asked the cashier if he could use the bathroom... and he said, "I thought I could hold it, but I guess I couldn't"... and he giggled... which leads me to believe that perhaps it wasn't a just a fart. Ew. Did I really stand next to a grown man who shit his pants? In a Walgreens?

At CVS I bought $116, paid $46 and got $33 in extra care bucks. I think they screwed me over... I calculated it all ahead of time and I don't think they applied my 20% off coupon. Still, $13 for $116 worth of stuff is a good haul... I saved 89%... but I'm aiming for the day that I walk out with more money than I paid. Honestly I can't wrap my mind around how this system works... it's too good to be true.

So, at Sarah's request, it's time for me to gaze into my crystal ball and tell you where I see myself in ten years...


In ten years from now I will be 46... almost 47... approaching the summit of the hill, but not quite ready to head down the other side. Since I'll have been working out with Gilad almost every day for the past ten years, I will have a better body than I had in high school, and since I look about ten years younger than I really am, hopefully I'll be one hot cougar, highly sought after by all virile, handsome, straight, unmarried males of age (who can read).

Unfortunately I'll have to break their wittle hearts because I'll be married to a wonderful man, raising our 2.5 children (okay, one child) (maybe), and gardening in my spare time. Gracie and Daphne will be approaching their senior years, but will still be spry. Well... Gracie will... Daphne's just not a spry kitty unless there's food involved.

I won't have to work for a living, because the novel I wrote, though rejected by a slew of misguided agents in 2009, will blow everyone away sometime in the year 2013, and it will be a sleeper hit that makes the success of Twilight pale in comparison. Or... not... but at least I will have paid off my all debts and saved wisely so that, while I must still toil to feather the nest egg, I can retire in a mere nine more years. Yes. Early.

I will have saved over $41k from couponing alone, which we can put down on a nice home in a semi-rural area, surrounded by trees, trees, trees! And a greenhouse. And a well. And a screened in wrap around porch (to keep the skeeters out). And a couple of chickens. And a moo cow. And a goat. And a couple of dogs. Hell, if I have room, I wouldn't mind a Shetland pony. But no coons and no squirrels and no coyotes. Wolves are okay as long as we all respect each other's space. My garden will be a thing of beauty... no more trips to the supermarket to get lettuce, and mmmmm... vine ripe tomatoes... drool... oh -- and my very own lemon tree, because life should always give you lemons... I'll cook to my heart's content, and we'll have bbq's with our friends and family, at least once a month. I love my future life...

I will also have crossed off quite a few things on my bucket list. Skydiving... Alaska... Zip-lining... Shuttle launch (coming up soon!)... Harley Quinn tattoo... Sleigh ride... Dude Ranch... Grand Canyon... Greece... Make my own Limoncello (this I might do sooner than later).

I will have retired Trixie, but since I will be in the middle of my mid-life crisis, I might get another 8 to zoom around in (semi-rural area = less traffic = more zoom!). Hell, 8's might be even cooler in ten years. But I'll probably have a more practical car with trunk space to haul things around in, like soil and bulk rolls of paper towels and toilet paper.

All in all, I think I'll be in a better place than I am now... even though I'm pretty happy where I am there could be some improvements.

So hmmm... I can't tag 10 people, I waited too long and most of you have already been tagged. In fact, I'm probably going to accidentally tag someone who's already been tagged... mortifyingly embarassing if you already answered (especially if I read it... which I probably did... I'm just very scatterbrained...):

Ms. Anthropy
and because even though it's primarily a photo blog, I am also enthralled by her writing, Flora

Well, I made it to nine anyway.


  1. Nice. Sounds like your future is so bright you might need to wear shades!

    Ok. I'll do mine tomorrow. I promise. :)

  2. That's disgusting. If you have to go that bad you should put a circle of safety between you and others. Oh and don't go into a store.


    Sounds like a fantastic vision for the future though. Especially the half a kid. lol

  3. I love all the details about your life in 10 years. It was worth the wait and enduring reading about the man who can't hold his bowels. I hope YOU've recovered.


  4. That is nasty that he soiled himself while standing in line. AND he giggled? Really? Jeez.

    Sounds like a good future for you there but I seriously laughed out loud when I read Skeeters and Moo Cow.

  5. Was tagged already, but thanks tons for thinking of me. Nice to see you are an optimist! I will probably be ashes in 10 years.

  6. Sounds like an awesome future. My favorite part was moo cow, I actually laughed at loud.

    You should of asked the dude if he did shit his pants. Add a little fuel to the fire. I'm all about sales and saving money on stuff I buy. 41k in coupon savings, that must be a record of sorts.


  7. Funny how you just tossed in the guy at Walgreens among all your future predictions.
    But that is something that would have to be addressed SOMEWHERE for sure!

    Your future life sounds so pleasant.

    Regarding your bucket list:

    Skydiving... I used to think I want to do this someday, but I am not so sure now.
    But I have done bunjee-jumping, which is close...
    Zip-lining...what is that? I guess I could Google it.
    Grand Canyon...yes, on my list
    Making Limoncello...I have done this! I have also made beer.

  8. Your future sounds very bright. I am glad you nixed that 1/2 kid. I never got how you could have less than a whole one. Is it like a timeshare?

  9. The guy id NOT say that? Yuck!!!!

    We are the same age :-)

  10. That is a detailed look into your future! Whoah.. and the dude that sharted at Walgreens.. ugh NASTY

  11. The guy from the beginning actually giggled at that?!? Ewwwwww shudder shudder shudder!

    The buying a house with the money you saved from couponning was hilarious!! Your future is drooling impressive ! All those trips...

  12. Terry - I look forward to reading it!

    TS - It was pretty disgusting... I felt a little violated...

    RRGBW - LOL, yeah, I recovered. I had to breathe in some perfume to get the scent memory out of my nose.

    Jerry - He did giggle, I think it was nerves. I HOPE it was nerves... I love moo cows...

    MA - You will not be ashes in 10 years... you'll still be alive and kicking and as sarcastic as ever!

    PTM - Well... I'm not there yet... only saved about $400 of that (and oddly, the money isn't in my bank account...)

    Joe - Ziplining is awesome, look on YouTube. I'm really excited about (hopefully I won't chicken out). I'm jealous about the Limoncello...

    Joey - Timeshare kid sounds like a great idea! Sort of like being an aunt.

    TGNDGU - Yep. He did... I wish it was a bad dream, but it was real...

    LM - Figured you gotta have a plan. =)

    Sarah - I know... something to look forward to... always need something to look forward to...

  13. Your life sounds amamzing. It is sometimes scary how alike we are, for two people who haev never met. And let me tell you my dear friend, I am liking the picture you painted :)

    I hope that you get all of these things. No, I KNOW you will have all of these things because you are an amazing person.

    My ten year post is coming up soon! xoxox