124 - The agony and the... agony

Black Friday. Two words that either terrify you, or turn you on. I'm in that first group... with latent tendencies toward the latter. I went out on a Black Friday several years ago, and even though I came away feeling like I'd gotten some bargains, the toll it took on my psyche was enough to dissuade me from ever doing it again. Our mall parking lot has been at 80% capacity since I woke up at 6:30 this morning... I imagine it was like that at 4 am when JC Penney first opened their doors. I hear that the line at Toys 'R Us was about a block long at midnight (including fidgety kids who should have been in bed). I also hear that those shoving matches you hear about... they really happen.

So even though I was terrified, I did end up shopping the sales, I just did it online. I set my alarm for midnight when the Kohls online sale was slated to begin, got out of bed and woke my computer up, too. I was excited... 10% cash back using Bing, $10 Kohls cash for every $50 you spend, there were several small kitchen appliances that I wanted, most of them $9.99 after a $10 mail-in rebate, and then there was the 20% off coupon I found + free shipping. I had it all scoped out... another purse exactly like the one I have now, a J Lo Glow giftset with perfume, shower gel and lotion, a hot air popcorn popper, a slow cooker, a breadmaker, underwear, a GPS... and after all was said and done, I'd probably spend just under $100. *giddy*

Par for the course... when I get all worked up over something, I am usually met with a whole new level of frustration.

The website was s-l-o-w. Slower than molasses on a frigid day. Then it crapped out altogether. Then it was back up but still slow. After 45 minutes I finally had everything in my cart, so I clicked on Checkout. And it took me back to the homepage. I clicked on my cart again, clicking on the Checkout button at the bottom of the page instead of the top (my rationalization knows no bounds). Took me right back to the homepage again. I attempted it five more times (cursing so much that my cat's eyes grew wide) with the same results... which clinches it, by the way... if the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different outcome... I am truly insane... but just for now, let's call it optimism. 'Tis the season, right?

I called the 866 number and listened to a pre-recorded 'yeah, we know... sorry *shrug*' message. It's 2 am and I have to work in the morning. I gave up and went to bed. Pissed.

Not one to give up, I tried again later in the morning and now they had a cutesy message that popped up. It had an elf on it because they assume no one can get pissed at an elf. Ha! I called the 866 number, I wanted to know the ETA... after all, door busters end at 1 pm... Now the message said that they were busy helping other customers, but I could log on to Kohls.com if I wanted (seriously?), repeated it, and then added 'goodbye' for good measure before it hung up on me. Lesson learned -- I can glare at elves -- their cuteness is a form of mockery.

I tried intermittently until 10 am, at which point I finally got in, only to find that the popcorn popper, bread machine, purse, and slow cooker I had in my cart this morning, were now out of stock. The purse upset me the most. I love my little red purse and it's starting to show its age. So... I decided that even though I could still get some of the other stuff, Kohls was no longer getting my business. They cost me at least 3 hours of my time, at this point I didn't have enough in my cart to qualify for free shipping, I no longer had enough to earn any Kohls cash, all the rebates were moot, and I think it even dipped to the point that the coupon became inactive. So I shopped at Sears and Overstock.com and Buy.com and Kmart and Home Depot and The Container Store, but I did not shop at Kohls. I guess since they sold out, they probably won't miss my business, but I have a memory like an elephant, and they failed me... miserably.

Truth be told they've been pissing me off lately anyway... they send me catalogues with a sticker that touts a 15%, 20% or 30% coupon code underneath the peel-off sticker. It's like a little lottery, with the same basic outcome because now that I know there is a 30% discount, and I expect to get it. If I get 15%, which happens more often than not, I feel like I've been screwed. Honestly -- what do they think is going to happen? People are gonna be like, 'well at least I got 15%?' LMAO!

I was talking to a co-worker and he said the most backward thing I've ever heard... When we were discussing the long lines, he said if he were just shopping for himself, he'd probably stick it out... but if he was standing in line to get a present for someone else, he'd bail. Not worth it. What??? Christmas is about giving gifts (so kindly ignore my previous paragraphs about all the stuff I got for me...). But seriously, it seems like we should at least put in the same amount of effort into buying things for our loved ones as we do when we buy for ourselves. I joked that he was going to be single for a very long time (but as I'm sure you guessed... the jokey nature of it was only half-hearted).