073 - Randomnosity

Stealing this from Janet Reid's blog because I think it's funny as hell (and so well done!). It's from a book called Bent Objects... or not really, because apparently this one didn't make it into the book. Click here for a trailer about the book (imagine... people make trailers for books now... holy smurf!):

My God it amuses me. They're eating his brain!

From zombie peanuts to cannibalistic cereal... a friend shared this with me earlier today, and it made me laugh pretty hard, too:

Sometime near the end of the day I was thinking I should go shopping on the way home from work. I wanted to find a cute top, and buy the pants I so desperately need for Halloween (and life in general). I think I'm finally at a point where I can buy the next size down, and in any case I'm getting tired of washing the same two pairs of pants over and over again. It's becoming critical...

So here's where I'm going with this... people accuse me of thinking too much. It's not exactly an accurate portrayal of what's going on in my noggin though -- I'm not thinking 'too much,' per se. What happens is five or six thoughts hit me simultaneously, and they're (apparently) a little different than the thoughts other people have. In about two seconds, here's what went down. I thought:

I should go shopping... yeah, that'd be fun. (picturing myself trying on a cute top with magical properties that makes me appear svelte). Hmmm... all day long I've been scratching my back and coming away with pieces of skin on my fingers (my sunburn is peeling)... yuck. I bet some of it's stuck to the inside of my shirt right now... so it would probably stick to a shirt I tried on in the dressing room, too... and if I try a shirt on... and I don't buy the shirt... then someone else might try the shirt on... and what if some of my skin sticks to them... and what if they killed someone - or someone killed them... and pieces of my skin were stuck to their skin, or it flaked off at the crime scene... I could end up in jail, and all I did was try on a damn shirt! I should NOT go shopping today...

I shared that with a friend and he said I watch too much CSI...

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