071 - Smurf THAT

Today's blog is about how to use "smurf" as a curse word. It can (very handily) be used in place of the F-bomb. For example:

Smurf you!
Smurf off!
Smurf that!
What the smurf are you talking about?

But it's also versatile enought to substitute for other curse words:

Look at that smurf!
Hey smurf-hole -- why don't you look where the smurf you're going?!?!?
(or the expletive-laden) Smurf you, you smurfin' smurf-hole!

Very handy in public places where cursing is a bad idea. Like church. (just kidding) Try it... you'll like it...

So I feel like an idiot. I bought some contacts online, just some decorative grey ones for Halloween... and some purple ones because I'm indecisive. They were shipped to me in these cute little bottles, innocuous looking little buggers... misleading, almost innocent. I let them sit on the counter for a while because I didn't want to invest in saline solution, but last night I decided to see if I liked the grey ones or the purple ones better so I decided to open them and try them on. I began to unscrew the top... it wasn't a screw top. I tried to pop the top off... it wouldn't pop. SMURF! I was literally outsmarted by an inanimate object and had to go online to figure out how to open the damn things (http://www.circlelens2u.com/article_20.html if you're curious). So I follow the directions... push up with my thumb? I don't think so... my thumb was inadequate. I pried it up with a nail file.

There are baby spiders on my window screen. There was a little strip of spider eggs, and then all of a sudden there were baby spiders... about 20. I don't know what kind. They look like fish eggs with legs, sort of an amber color, sticky looking. I tried to take a picture but it didn't come out well, even on the special setting for taking close up pictures. Too many things in the background for the camera to focus on, I think. I'm no camera expert. That should go on my bucket list though... learn to operate real camera.

My back feels like leather. Painful leather. I showed it to a friend and she gasped, so as scary as it looks in the mirror, it seems that in real life it's even more frightening.

Writing update: I failed to do anything to my manuscript last night. But I did have lunch with a friend who writes, and she gave me some things to think about, so I'll see if I have better luck tonight.

And this is something to think about, from Janet Reid... she reads your blogs people! She reads your blogs! (which I think is cool actually, whether she reps my book or not, I've learned a lot about writing from reading her blogs -- she's awesome). This is why you should be careful what you write.

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