267 - Too much booty in the pants

This evening as I went out to water the garden, I saw five or six honey bees buzzing around those bushes I let flower out (just for them!). There may have been more, buzzing within the bushes where I couldn't see them, but with my own eyes, I spied five. Honey bees! Sorry -- beezzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

And a wasp, eating the wood off my swing. But he's not important, so don't get attached.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see bees. Ridiculously happy. I might have *cough* done a little jig. But no one can prove that. It's just your word... against mine.

You know... I feel really bad about all the honey bees I stomped on when I was five years old... pounding my way through the clover during recess like some maniacal demented giant. What was I thinking? It's like I was single-handedly trying to bring about the collapse of our (then) well-functioning ecosystem.

And I won't go into to the Great Doodle Bug Masacre of '79. I really don't like to talk about it.

I also got up close and personal with another honeybee on Friday in a parking lot. It got right in my face, so I blew on it with my special 'breath of death'... wisely, it flew away. But then it came back again. This time I calmly told it I'd rather not kill it, so please go away (empty threat) and it flew away again, this time for good.


I had some blackberries in my refrigerator, so I made a bastardized version of Strawberry Icebox Pie. Never made either a strawberry, nor a blackberry version before so we'll see how that turns out. Not important. What is important is that I also split one berry into three pieces and stuck those pieces into the ground. Then I put them into a box, and I put that box into a bigger box, and I put that box in another box, mailed it to myself and I SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER!!! (anyone else like The Emperor's New Groove?) I'm crazy like that. 'Will it grow?' I ask myself. 'I dunno!' I answer back. 'What do say we throw it in some soil and see what happens?' I giggle. 'I dunno! It's crazy! Let's do it! Bwahahaha!'

Not that I... um... talk to myself, or do crazy jigs or anything...

(that might have been funnier as a vlog... but I'm not there yet...)


  1. P.S. Cool website: http://www.booksshouldbefree.com/Top_100

  2. All you people with veggie gardens, beautiful yards, fantastic homes, working out, great writing skills and just having energy in general, are really starting to depress me. Just makes me more aware of what I'm not and what I don't have. "Poop!"

  3. Are you afraid that we will think you odd, Miss K? This coming from the girl who stood a broom up on her kitchen floor and actually FILMED it?
    Don't ever change.

  4. Ms. A - You have a family and I'm perpetually single. So cheer the F up! Plus I haven't worked out in two weeks... got sick (1 week), then when I tried to exercise I started shaking, so I gave up. I'm trying to coax myself back into it, but since I wasn't seeing any weight loss... it's hard to do.

    Joe - Yeah... that was COOL!

  5. I really love your blog. And I feel like you do about the bees. poor things..I was always so afraid of them. But now the poor things are endangered. After watching the series Life on discovery I realized the beauty and importance of bees. Did you know why they make honey. It isn't just for us to enjoy but they eat it too!!! Also I want to thank you for following my blog. You made my day!!!

  6. This was hilarious. Thanks for helping brighten my day.

  7. Good blog; poor bees. That said, I'm still trying to draw that mental line between honey bees and blackberries and "too much booty" in your pants. Perhaps I'm even more dense than people think I am? ;)

  8. Ms. A - You're welcome. I know how squeamish you get around those F-bombs. =)

    Dr. S - Thank you! It's nice to be able to act rationally when I see a bee. I think Hollywood convinced me that they were bad when I was a kid and I just never grew out of it.

    Jerry - You're welcome ;)

    Terry - I'm not really sure either. It's just hard to find a blog title sometimes, and that song popped into my head for some reason... but it's important to note it was "the pants"... not "my pants"!

  9. So are you the Isma of Emperor's New Groove? Why do you hate llama's so?

  10. You know I actually liked bees until that stupid bee movie with Jerry Seinfield. He totally wrecked the bee image for me. I'm quite sure that you just hit a plateau on your exercise and you will indeed see results soon (that is my positive reinforcement). As far as talking to yourself, don't get all nervous about it unless you start holding lengthy debates with yourself. Then only get upset if you start losing those debates...

  11. Love that the garden is coming along! My parsely is finally mature enough to eat and so I used some last night in my marinara I made!