Feel like things are finally coming together, and it's been months since I've felt that way. The past few months have felt like utter chaos. With the IVF everything felt rushed and negative, for both of us. I had very few days that were completely stress free, but more often than not I cried. Hormones are a horrible thing when combined with stress. To be honest, at this point I am relieved. I think we were both soldiering on for the other person, but as Mike said, the scientific approach of IVF took all the fun out of it. Mike being gone also took the fun out of it (for both of us).
We've found some land that we like and it's enabled me to crunch numbers and figure out where we'll be in about a year from now. So far, so good. We're still going to keep looking, but it's hard to find what we want, where we want it, for the price we want to pay. At some point during Mike's 30-day break, I want to go visit these properties and if we like one of them well enough, we may decide to buy. I can only imagine how that will feel... to actually put money down on land... *shiver*
Our dream is very simple, but also very complicated, so I tend to think of it as 'simply complicated'. First we get the land. Then we build a house... in the meantime we are discussing features we want and trying to figure out how to build a home that is somewhat 'green' but doesn't cost a mint. After the house comes the garden. Then we focus on a garage to house our vehicles and machinery... with that much land we'll need a mower, possibly a tractor, an ATV to get around to the far reaches of the property, and 'we' already have a few vehicles; one of which is mine, hahaha. After the garage comes the barn, after the barn, the animals... some chickens, a miniature cow, a handful of goats, a couple of dogs, and a donkey (to protect the other animals). After the barn comes the greenhouse. We figure it will keep us pretty occupied, this dream of ours.
My big job now is... to find a job. The kicker with this dream is that all the areas that have the acreage we want are going to be, by nature, somewhat rural. That means the job market is going to be pretty limited, so either I find a job I can do from home, or I have a very long commute. If I could keep the job I have, but do it from home, that would be ideal... but I know I can't because my company isn't that progressive. The type of work I do could easily be done as a telecommute, but because of liability issues, or trust issues, or reasons I don't understand, they just don't let people work from home. To me it makes a lot of sense, they save on utilities, they save on office space, employees are happier, it helps traffic flow by getting people off the roads, we save on gas, we can cook our own meals at home if we want to so we're healthier (in theory)... it all seems win-win.
At this point it's been over twelve years since I last looked for a job. I think I started this job in February of 2001 but I'd have to look at my resume to verify that. So it's scary for me. I look at postings and they never seem to fit, and in the past I've never taken chances because I didn't really need another job, I was merely curious. Now I will need to branch out and explore, probably taking an entry level job just to get my foot in the door. I'm not against that as long as the paycut is reasonable, and Mike was very supportive of the idea. In some ways it's exciting... it's also terrifying.
I'm not even sure what different kinds of work there are for telecommuters. Right now I'm focusing my search on technical writing. I think I would like the work, I know someone who does it and it sounds interesting because you're always learning something new, but the methodology stays pretty much the same. Lord knows I like to write. Even if I'm not getting paid to write a novel, I'd still be getting paid to write, and that seems like a step in the right direction. The question is... can I find a job doing it? I have time to look. If I find one in the next couple of months, there's nothing stopping me from taking it. If it takes a few months, that's okay too (although I will start to get nervous at some point).
We've been doing research about farming and livestock. I found the coolest magazine... Urban Farm. I read one issue and learned so much that I subscribed and I can't wait for the next issue... too bad they only publish six times a year. I have also bought some pretty good books about how to improve soil and the easiest, most efficient ways to grow things. Mike has been doing all kinds of research too. There are some things that interest only me, some things that interest only him, and several things that both of us are interested in... it works. :)
So I'm very excited about our future. Is it time yet?.... How about now?... Now is it time?...
An X-istential Crisis
1 day ago