This Train of Thought has been Derailed

333 - Moving on

2011-11-17T12:41:00.000-06:00

I'm moving to a new blog. It's going to chronicle our adventures in mobile living... I've only written one post at this point, and I probably won't become too prolific until April when things start to really take off, BUT if you want to keep in touch, I'll be blogging at http://wheelpleadthefifth.blogspot.com/ from this point on.

332 - On Top of Old Smokey

2011-09-11T18:37:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I drove out to Montgomery as I have done for the past few Saturdays, to help out at the wolf sanctuary. I've been worried all week about what Jean and the wolves would do if the wildfires get closer... I got downright upset as I got about 10 miles out from the sanctuary on CR105 and it was so smokey that it looked like fog... you could see where you were going, but the smoke hung thick and heavy, and I had to turn my a/c to recirculate because the smell was strong. I think the morning humidity helped the smoke hang in the air because by the time I left it had cleared off to some extent... but it looked dire.

I could tell that the wolves were edgy. Their sense of smell is so much keener than ours, keener even than a dog's. I read the other day that in a study, it took wolves ten minutes to identify trays with hidden food whereas it took dogs an hour. So imagine a barbecue smoker on steroids, and that's what it smelled like, times it by fifteen and that's what it smelled like to them. For all that, it was business as usual, cleaning the cages, going for walks, there was some tension but I think the sense of normalcy helped calm them.

Since my last post I have become a walker. I have walked Rafiki, Sable, Tala and Remus, or rather they have walked me. And I love it. I love any interaction I get.

Rafiki is shy. When she is willing to let you pet her she backs into a corner in the enclosure where she feels safe and she won't look you in the eyes at first, has to do with how she was treated at the pound. She reminds me of my cat Gracie... very loving but timid... wants to be loved but is afraid to trust anyone (hell, a few years ago that was me!). Rafiki, outside of the enclosure is a much more confident animal. She likes to walk fast, so I don't hold her back if I can help it - I walk fast too - just not that fast. When we get a certain distance ahead she will turn to find out where her penmate Romulus is and she will let him close the distance a little before she moves on, but she does like to be in front. After she looks back, she doesn't turn around and continue on, instead she walks in a circle, and Janet once said it looks like I had a show horse on a leash, because when Rafiki walks in a circle, I walk in a circle. It's hard to pick a favorite, but I think if I had to pick a favorite, it would be Rafiki - don't tell the others.

Sable is shy as well, but in a different way. She, like Rafiki, is a gorgeous white wolf-dog hybrid. Everyone always confuses the two, and when we're walking they will often call her Rafiki. Sable is curious and looks at me through the chain link fence, but if I move in any way she backs away. The first time I went to collar her she stood still and let me do it, everyone was amazed, and when we walked I could pet her as much as I wanted (and since it was a minor miracle I took advantage of it). Whenever Shae or Jesse reached over to try to pet her, she would put me in between herself and the human. The last two times we've walked she backs away from me when I try to collar her, but has no problem walking with me. She is the easiest to walk, she doesn't pull very much, and often walks just in front, or to the side, of me. When Sable comes up to me of her own accord, I will feel like I've made progress. With her it is baby steps.

Tala is an ambassador wolf who gets to go up to the benches and meet people. She and Remus were the first two that Mike and I had contact with when we went to visit the sanctuary in February. She's long and lean and gorgeous, mid-content wolf. She also likes to pull on walks and though lean, she's all muscle and determination. She's very friendly and loves attention. Between her and Remus, neither recognizes the other's dominance, so they often get into tussles and it sounds like they're killing each other. In reality I don't think they actually bite each other, they just jump around, growling and squealing at each other with their jaws open. When I went to pet Tala through the fence this weekend, Remus came up and stood in front of me, his body flat against the fence, growling low in his throat to tell her to back off, I belong to him. She didn't back off. Fighting ensued. So I backed away, feeling bad that I had caused the tussle in the first place.

Remus was the one I had a crush on in February. He's a gorgeous boy and he knows it. I think he's also trying to kill me... Last weekend after we walked, and after we went up to greet the people (something he apparently just started doing), he barreled into his enclosure and dove into the water tub, knocking my shoulder into a support post in the process. Ouch. This weekend he damn near got out of his enclosure as I was going in to collar him. Janet grabbed him by his coat, and I pinned him to the enclosure by bending my leg up under his neck. He is goodnatured... he didn't yip, growl, nip or anything, but the back of my thigh cramped up. He is like a horse... when we first start out he bounds out of the cage and I have to really work to hold him back. Like his brother Romulus, he pulls so hard on his chain that he's constantly panting and struggling to breathe. Last time the whole walk was like that, this time he eventually slowed down and we walked together. So much more pleasant. As we were heading back to the enclosures, a blackhawk helicopter flew overhead and he started whining, but as soon as I put my hand on his head he got quiet. He's a sweetheart sometimes. Then, for the second time, he took me straight to the benches and got tons of attention from everyone because, as I said... he's gorgeous. If he were a man, he'd be Billy Zane.

They all have their own unique personalities... Lakota (or Kotes as I have dubbed her) is a gorgeous white timber wolf, very submissive in her posture as she scent marks me through the fence. She makes a pass and I'll scratch, then she turns the other way and I scratch again. Around the third or fourth pass, her penmate Apache, a grey timber wolf decides that he is the dominant one and I should also scratch him. Whereas she squats down and rubs up and along the fence with her tail tucked, looking me directly in the eye, he walks past me, standing tall, sometimes knocking her out of the way. He looks me in the eye sometimes, but unless Kotes comes up to me, I don't exist.

Yoda and Mystery, the alphas... I don't think we really exist in their world. Mystery is 100% pure wolf who was caught in a trap that she escaped from and was then shot. She is cunning and aloof, loping around the cage in circles. It's her who always starts the howling. It's her that they believe to be Alpha of the 'pack'. Yoda is a big boy that turns into an excited puppy when he sees the leash coming his way, literally hopping from paw to paw. All the wolves and wolf-dogs go crazy when he comes out. Most of the time he shrugs it off. This weekend with the wildfires making everyone antsy, he growled low in his throat and was about to walk over and sort things out with Remus (although there were two fences between them). If he'd really wanted to go over there, I doubt we could have stopped him, but Jesse pulled on the leash and we took a different route... he calmed back down. He likes to sniff and mark by urinating on an object and then scratching the dirt to also mark the surrounding area with his scent. All the wolves that follow, sniff the same spots, mark the same spots. We walk them in a certain order: Duchess, Yoda, Romulus and Rafiki, Tracker and Sable, Koa, Remus and Tala, then Luke. We don't walk Lakota and Apache, Mystery, or Lola (we would walk her but they tell me she hasn't expressed an interest in going).

Luke and Lola are both white wolf dogs. Lola is people shy. Janet walks Luke, and Lola usually retreats to the dog house while we clean her cage. This weekend she stayed out, near the far edge of the enclosure and let us do our thing. That said, it was the end of the enclosure where we were, not the other end, so I felt like it was significant progress. I've been getting her to come up and sniff my hand through the cage, and I hope to be able to approach her someday, but it could be weeks or it could be months. I slowly moved closer to her, squatting down and holding my hand out to her, but I could see that she was on edge and ready to bolt at any moment so I didn't push. When Jesse walked up to her she ran away as I expected her to.

Duchess is the only one that scares me. I'm wary of some, completely relaxed around others... Duchess puts me on guard because I've seen her snap at someone and I've heard too many stories about her. She's the textbook lanky, lopey wolf. She can be very friendly and solicitous, but she's also bi-polar. I scratch her through the fence for a short period of time and I'm done, I'm afraid to hit a sore spot with her and make her mad (she has hot spots that they have been treating). Some people don't seem afraid of her at all... more power to them.

Romulus is a gentle giant. He's still a puppy so he's rambunctious sometimes, but he is a sweetheart. He's Mike's favorite, and like I said... hard for me to pick a favorite, especially now that I've been out there for a while, but I do love Romy. He and Remus are brothers, they're about two years old. Whereas Remus is thinner... wolf with Collie in him. Romulus is almost like a Saint Bernard-wolf mix. Mom came out a couple of weeks ago and she was nervous around all of them, but she was facinated by Romy, said he was the most beautiful. Romy is the yin to Rafiki's yang, she is calm and refined, he is a bull in a china shop, but he is incredibly sweet. When he gets frustrated, he snaps his jaws... he wouldn't bite anyone, to me, each snap is like he's cursing under his breath because he does it when he's being walked and not allowed to run free. He looks terrifying when they bring Yoda out, he stands up and shakes the fence, snarling and snapping his jaws because he wants to be Alpha, but to people he's never aggressive in the least.

Tracker is Sable's penmate, and the newest addition to the sanctuary. He's mostly dog. This weekend he was jumping like a coiled spring and someone joked that they should have named him Tigger because he got about three feet off the ground with each jump. He's adorable. He's another one that always gets to go up and meet people, and he loves to drink from the hose, be sprayed with the hose, and lay in his water tub (took a nap in it once). He has brought Sable out of her shell a bit. From what I understand, she was very protective of her previous penmate who recently died of old age, and now she is becoming much more playful and animated.

Lastly there is Koa, or Koa-bear as he is called. A 'ferocious' beast who would lick you to death if you let him. He is the gentlest of them all, but he is also 95% dog. Somehow he was labelled a wolf and once labelled, it stuck, so he ended up at the sanctuary. He's a big, burly ball of furry love. He and Duchess each have an enclosure to themselves, the rest are paired up. In his case it's because he's too submissive, so it's hard to put him with another wolf-dog. Life is good for Koa.

It's a long drive out there, the work is exhausting, but I love it. It's the best part of my week. Like my dad said, it's very peaceful out there. It's rewarding when the wolves accept you into their pack, and you see changes in their behavior toward you week by week as the trust between you builds. It's not for everyone, there have been people who showed up for a weekend and never came back... we pick up poop, we fill in holes, we scrub water tubs, we walk... but I am looking forward to the day when Mike and I open our sanctuary and are able to do it fulltime. We came up with a name: The Nashoba Refuge. We were originally going with Wolf Haven, but there was already a Wolfhaven. Both of us associate wolves with Native American Indians, so I looked up the word for wolf in Cherokee and there was no word as such, just symbols and a phonetic pronunciation, but the Chickasaw were also from Tennessee and their word for wolf was Nashoba. As soon as I found it, I knew that was our name. We both liked it, so that's what we chose. Both our heads are spinning with ideas and eagerness. It's going to take a while to get going, but we are determined... we know this is what we want to do, and volunteering has only strengthened my resolve.

330 - The Day that Sucked the Life Out of Me

2011-09-06T22:21:00.000-05:00

Some days are easier than others. I never truly understood the sacrifices people make when they serve their country, or on the flip side, love someone who is serving their country. Sure I couldn't help but appreciate them and hope for their safety, but I never really grasped the depth of it until I became a part of it. It's not just the loneliness I feel when I'm at home, I also feel lonely when I'm out with friends... having dinner, going to weddings... I almost miss him more when other people are around. And though I don't worry much outwardly, inwardly there is always some concern for his safety. It's stressful... not always palpably stressful, but it is stressful.

I haven't heard from my husband in almost two days. It not only makes me miss him, I also can't help but worry. This base he's at has spotty internet access, and sometimes they maintain radio silence because someone has died or there is some kind of imminent threat, or sometimes they close the computers down for maintenance. I never know why, I just know that I feel like something important is missing. It's harder to feel connected.

I send Mike boxes... I have a box on the kitchen table pretty much all the time. I fill one up and another one is ready and waiting to take its place. I buy food, I send magazines, I put little knick-knacks in... it's the only way I can really show him that I care because he's not here to hug. I know he hates it there, everything familiar is here, everything he loves is here. Some days he's busy, other days he has nothing to do but play video games - and I know some of you are thinking you'd love to have a job like that... you wouldn't, trust me. I've had periods at my job (years ago) where I didn't have anything to do and they watched your internet usage like hawks... when you have nothing to do, you're not at home, you can't watch television, garden, get on the internet, take a walk - do any of the things you like to do - I don't know about you, but I get cabin fever. I also hate that I can't help him... I can try, but there's nothing I can really do.

In short, it sucks. I hate it. I'm ready for April to get here so that we're done with this. I'm ready to move forward with our life together. I'm like a kid waiting for my birthday party, only instead of two or three hours of purgatory, I have eight months of it.

Today I'm just exhausted from it and needed to get it out of my system. I keep thinking if I could find a job, or a way to take my current job with me to TN, I could at least get started on that part of our future and it would give me something to do. Mind you, I keep myself occupied, but I feel stagnate at the moment... I need some forward momentum. That, and houses seem to be selling pretty well in my neighborhood right now... not for the price I was hoping, but they're not sitting on the market like they were. There are 24 houses for sale (which is one less than it has been), and out of those, at least 5 had sales pending (versus none in months past).

Sorry about the glumness... I miss my boo. And the wildfires are also getting to me. I have loved ones in Austin, friends in Rusk, and wolves in Montgomery County... worried about them all. So far all are safe, but they need to get those fires under control... I'm also feeling a little more empathy toward Californians who seemingly deal with this threat all the time... Anyway, sending positive thoughts to all those who are fighting fires tonight.

329 - Zeroing in

2011-07-16T23:30:00.000-05:00

After our honeymoon in Dubai, which I have dubbed 'northern hell', Mike and I flew to Tennessee to visit a few properties. We found an area that we like, about an hour and a half northeast of Nashville near a town called Red Boiling Springs. The people there were awesome, the land was breathtaking - and if you're ever in the area, you HAVE TO stay at this B&B... it reminded me of B&B's I have stayed at in Scotland, and the women who run the place are just the nicest people... but I also have to mention the food... OMG, they can cook!!! I never ate so well. And in the evening we did a steam bath, mineral bath, massage combo that was very relaxing.

After the trip to Tennessee, we drove down to Mississippi so Mike could meet my mom's side of the family. They loved him, especially my cousin Jeremy who told me that I got a good one. It's been a long, long time since I've been to MS without my parents. It was nice to go there and feel like an adult, and I got to see most of my family, my cousin Becky even drove in from Alabama.

So now that we've been to TN we're more determined than ever to find a home there. We have all kinds of ideas for the future, but the one we seem to be primarily focused on is opening a sanctuary for wolf hybrids. After our visit to St. Francis earlier this year, we have been especially drawn to the idea, although we've both loved wolves for a long time. Since I have limited experience with wolves I have decided to volunteer at St. Francis to learn as much as I can. Thankfully, after I sent an application and a letter explaining our intentions, they responded by telling me when to show up to get the best overview of what goes on, and even when they walk the wolves. I can't wait to see Remus again... he is such a sweet, beautiful boy.

All of the wolves were gorgeous, and the five that we interacted with were all like big, friendly dogs (which I know is not always going to be the case), but Remus was my favorite. So even though it's a looooooooooong drive, I'm looking forward to getting back out there.

I figure we would would start small, a couple of hybrids (was reading that unless you have a lot of time to spend with them, since they are pack animals, you should really pair them up so that they don't get depressed or isolate themselves). Then as we gain experience we can take on more, and perhaps even an occasional full-blood wolf that may have been injured or displaced. We'll see. I don't want to bite off more than we can chew.

So now I need to start working on a transition plan to get to TN. It will be a while before we find the land we want, but it will be easier to look around if I'm closer to it, then I can get a real feel for the area and really start to narrow things down. So I may start my job hunt in the near future, rent a house in an area near where we're looking, and then when Mike comes back we'll be ahead of the game. For sure we want to go back in December when he takes the rest of his leave and spend a few days looking around.

Anyway, that's the update for now. Dubai was nice, but I didn't love it. I loved spending time with my husband, and our hotel room was cool, and the food was good... but... I like pretty scenery and it was just a bunch of skyscrapers. It was hotter and more humid than it is in Houston - first time EVER that I've stepped off the plane coming back from vacation and found the weather to be a welcome change. Met some nice people there, met some real sleazy people there (at the souks they'd sell their mother for a durham if you'd buy her). The culture was just too far different from mine for me to really enjoy it. I'm more of a European tourist I think - which is good, because we're also going to Scotland! Woot! I didn't think I was going back for a long, long time, but Mike decided that Mikey needed to see some history and he knows how much I love it there so I'm sure that played a part in it, not to mention he's been wanting to go to Scotland and/or Ireland himself. In any case, I'm happy, and I probably made Craig's jaw drop when I told him that he can plan this tour, the only request I had was to go to Birnam for a little while, because that's my favorite spot. And... if we can ride the Hogwart's Express... that would be cool too. :)

328 - A day of 'hurry up and wait'

2011-06-17T21:52:00.001-05:00

Took the day off work to get my passport updated and my driver's license renewed. In both cases I had to go down there in person because I was finally changing my name. Would have waited, but my license expires on my birthday so I had to renew it, and I felt like if my license was in my new name, my passport probably ought to be too, just to avoid problems.

The fact that I made an 'appointment' at the passport agency was misleading. Once I got there, I found that I still had to stand in line, show my documents to a clerk and check in, then I was issued a number and sat down with a very interesting variety of people, and waited to be called to another window where I would hand my documents to another clerk who would actually process my request. Both clerks scrutinized the calendar, you can only make an appointment if your travel date is in 14 days or less, so when I told them when I was travelling, I guess they thought they 'got' me... but alas, I was within the window. Ha! I win. By the end of next week I should have my new passport. So that took about an hour. Not too bad, but not what I expected. And they have no parking, you have to pay to park at a lot across the street... $10. I need to build a parking lot so I can charge exorbitant prices just so someone can park their own car and use a machine to pay me for the privilege.

Then I went to lunch with a couple of friends. We ate Greek food, then went to Spec's (liquor store) to look at cheese. I've never been to the downtown Spec's before. They claim that it is as big as a city block... that's a lotta liquor. But they also have food and other odds and ends. I ended up buying a creamy version of Limoncello, a weird soda, and a couple of things for Mike.

After that I went to the DPS. Holy hell... that was... no words to describe... I'm scarred from the experience. There were no spaces in the parking lot so people were parked all up and down the street. That should have sent me running the other way, but I needed to get this done. So I parallel parked and walked inside. The line was to the door and going nowhere fast. I think it took about 15-20 mins just to get to through the first line of defense, a surly woman whose job it was to put people in their place. I sailed through, but an old woman behind me got some attitude.

So I got another number, and leaned against a wall until a seat became available. A small community formed around me, each of us in disbelief at how unorganized this operation seemed. My number was 084. They were calling 900's and 200's and 600's and 400's... seemed like there was no rhyme or reason to it. Then the surly woman whose job it was to put people in their place asked for everyone's attention: "Anyone here who doesn't have a number, all the support people who do not need to be here, need to leave. Go outside, go to your cars, but you cannot be in here. There are too many people in the building and the fire marshall will close us down." So a few (unhappy) people got up and went outside into the 97-degree heat. Except... there was one woman that surly woman noticed that didn't leave. So she confronted her and told her that her fifteen year old son would be fine on his own, that she has a son that age and she leaves him home alone and he is fine, and there are police officers in the building who keep an eye on things. The lady left, and took her two daughters with her, but she didn't go quietly. I kinda felt like it should have been surly woman's job to control the flow of traffic. If there were too many people in the building, she should have turned some of them away rather than handle it the way she did.

I was there for an hour and a half. And I left with a new restriction.... I have to wear my glasses when I drive. I already do it, but it wasn't mandatory. Now it is. Damn I'm old.

So I started my day at 9 am, made it to the passport agency by the skin of my teeth at 10 am, spent some time with friends, braved the DPS, and finally made it home around 6 pm. This was my 'day off' and I only enjoyed about an hour of it. Plus I didn't get to talk to Mike very much, so that sucked. Glad tomorrow is Saturday. Sort of.

Also, Cat Genie... about to shove it up someone's... yeah... so far it has gotten plugged up twice, which results in shit soup... very nasty, and something I really don't want to deal with. 90% of the time the cat's are pooping on the garage floor anyway. I'm dealing with more shit than I ever did when I was scooping out a litterbox. So after I came home to shit soup again today, and had to clean pee off the guest bathroom floor, I gave in. The litterbox is back in business. The cats win, Cat Genie sucks and I'm sorry I ever purchased it. In theory, it was great, and maybe for some people it actually works, but for me, it has been nothing but a hassle since day one.

So ending on a positive note... Red Riding Hood was a good movie. I wanted it to be, but I hadn't expected it to be. I was pleasantly surprised. Haven't run across too many good movies lately.

327 - Obsessed... again

2011-06-13T20:14:00.000-05:00

I'm back in full-out couponing mode. It's addictive. I'm not one of those Extreme Couponers, although I watch them and dream of someday checking out for $0 (not buying quite so much stuff)... but... for the moment, I can work a deal at CVS and Walgreens, and maybe save about 30-60% on my groceries. I agree with the EC's... coupons = money.

This weekend I got several boxes of cereal, three bottles of Ragu, two bottles of mayo, a bottle of ranch dressing, some candy bars, mosquito towelettes, suntan lotion, razors, pain relievers, several air fresheners five 2-liters of Pepsi... and a whole bunch more... a trunk full of stuff... $230 retail value, for about $60 out of pocket, and I got about $30 back in Extra Care Bucks and Register Rewards to spend next week, plus there was a rebate on one of the items, plus a $10 gas card. Filling up for $23 felt good. When it all settles out, I effectively paid about $19 for the lot.

Then I heard that Sears has a promotion this week where if you buy $50 worth of men's apparel (happy father's day!), you get a $25 gift card back to spend next week (in store only... I had Mike about to order online before I read the fine print). I scanned the internet for printable coupons and found a 20% off coupon that happened to be good until 5 pm yesterday, so at 3 pm I hauled ass to the store and bought Mike four shirts and four pairs of shorts for $85 (retail value was probably over $350 before sales and coupons). What made the deal extra sweet was that we had gotten a free $50 gift card from Sears for writing to the corporate office to tell them about a shipping debauchle with a workbench we'd ordered. In the letter I explained the problem, but I also praised a very helpful associate... I try to be fair. They actually called me to follow up on the letter, and they offered the gift card even though they had already refunded our shipping costs. So Sears is on the good list - do business with them! Effectively spent about $40 out of pocket after taxes, and got $25 of that back in a gift card... happy... happy... happy...

I get all my deal scenarios from the links on my side bar. I use Southern Savers and My Dallas Mommy the most often, but I check around on the other sites because sometimes I find deals there they they both missed. Check the math though, sometimes prices vary.

Online, I use EvReward.com to see which rebate sites are giving the biggest percentage back, and then I use RetailMeNot.com to find coupon codes to stack on top of that. Save a lot of money that way. Sometimes you have to try a few codes out before you find one that works, but hell, if you save $10 it's worth a couple of minutes, is it not?

326 - Kristy for President

2011-05-26T21:21:00.002-05:00

Taxes. They suck. I was thinking about how they could suck less - if I got to choose where they went. All those fluff programs? Gone. Everyone elects where to spend their taxes so only the programs we're interested in supporting continue to thrive. For example, I would choose to reinvest my taxes in NASA, and I would allocate some to disaster relief - DOMESTIC disaster relief (I'm not saying I wouldn't donate to the Red Cross for other countries, but it would be my choice and I wouldn't sink this country further into debt). I know there are more programs, but I don't have a list so those are just examples. And we have a flat rate tax, with a cap. Everyone pays the same percentage, but after a certain dollar amount that's it. Also - social security. I get to decide if I want to participate in a program that probably won't exist when I'm eligible to apply (at 70 if I want full benefits... which are then taxed AGAIN). Otherwise, the money remains in my check for me to spend as I choose, or I stick it into an IRA.

Deal with the illegal immigration issue - I would put at least half of my taxes toward building a huge wall with a moat and a 9-ft underground gate so they can't even tunnel under. BUT if they did... move the prisons to the border towns, so if they do manage to dig their way in, they land up in jail where they belong. I'm not against immigration, but there are people who do it legally, and there are people who start their life in this country by breaking the law. Also - English would be the national language. Driver's tests would not be in any language but English. Signs would not be in anything but English. If I moved to Germany I would learn to speak German. Don't come to my country and expect me to acquiesce to you.

Bikes on roads with a posted speed limit over 35 mph would require a registration tag, which would require a bicycle driver's license. That test would also be in English. The money raised from that would be used to build bicycle lanes to make travel safer for both cyclist and automobile. On roads with a posted speed limit over 35 mph in areas with a population over ? it would be illegal to ride a bicycle on a road without a bicycle lane. If the area isn't highly trafficked, fine, but I drive on roads where the traffic is constant, the speed limit is 50 mph, and people are trying to get around a bicyclist who is going 25 mph and obstructing the flow of traffic. If a car did that they'd get a ticket. This isn't just about me as the driver of an automobile, I'm trying to make it safer for everyone because I know several cyclists who have had more than one near miss.

Elected officials would be subject to the same rules as the rest of us. They don't vote themselves a pay raise - we do. If we are forced to be a part of a nationalized healthcare plan, they are forced to participate as well. The President doesn't get to fly everywhere, instead, he takes a bus, like a tour bus - and he has to pay for a portion of the gas, so he'll damn well care how much it costs. Elected officials must spend a certain number of days per year in their home state, so they don't lose touch with their consituents. And this guy gets cut the fuck off (he can borrow my gun if he needs to... sorry, but I just don't consider it a loss if he checks out).

It's just tiresome that government spending continues to spiral out of control, that we lose more and more of our freedoms while the fat cats get fatter, and aren't subject to the same rules. I know none of these ideas stand a chance in hell... but wouldn't it be nice if they did? What a wonderful world it would be...

Don't know what number this is because Blogger isn't cooperating

2011-05-25T23:21:00.000-05:00

Feel like things are finally coming together, and it's been months since I've felt that way. The past few months have felt like utter chaos. With the IVF everything felt rushed and negative, for both of us. I had very few days that were completely stress free, but more often than not I cried. Hormones are a horrible thing when combined with stress. To be honest, at this point I am relieved. I think we were both soldiering on for the other person, but as Mike said, the scientific approach of IVF took all the fun out of it. Mike being gone also took the fun out of it (for both of us).

We've found some land that we like and it's enabled me to crunch numbers and figure out where we'll be in about a year from now. So far, so good. We're still going to keep looking, but it's hard to find what we want, where we want it, for the price we want to pay. At some point during Mike's 30-day break, I want to go visit these properties and if we like one of them well enough, we may decide to buy. I can only imagine how that will feel... to actually put money down on land... *shiver*

Our dream is very simple, but also very complicated, so I tend to think of it as 'simply complicated'. First we get the land. Then we build a house... in the meantime we are discussing features we want and trying to figure out how to build a home that is somewhat 'green' but doesn't cost a mint. After the house comes the garden. Then we focus on a garage to house our vehicles and machinery... with that much land we'll need a mower, possibly a tractor, an ATV to get around to the far reaches of the property, and 'we' already have a few vehicles; one of which is mine, hahaha. After the garage comes the barn, after the barn, the animals... some chickens, a miniature cow, a handful of goats, a couple of dogs, and a donkey (to protect the other animals). After the barn comes the greenhouse. We figure it will keep us pretty occupied, this dream of ours.

My big job now is... to find a job. The kicker with this dream is that all the areas that have the acreage we want are going to be, by nature, somewhat rural. That means the job market is going to be pretty limited, so either I find a job I can do from home, or I have a very long commute. If I could keep the job I have, but do it from home, that would be ideal... but I know I can't because my company isn't that progressive. The type of work I do could easily be done as a telecommute, but because of liability issues, or trust issues, or reasons I don't understand, they just don't let people work from home. To me it makes a lot of sense, they save on utilities, they save on office space, employees are happier, it helps traffic flow by getting people off the roads, we save on gas, we can cook our own meals at home if we want to so we're healthier (in theory)... it all seems win-win.

At this point it's been over twelve years since I last looked for a job. I think I started this job in February of 2001 but I'd have to look at my resume to verify that. So it's scary for me. I look at postings and they never seem to fit, and in the past I've never taken chances because I didn't really need another job, I was merely curious. Now I will need to branch out and explore, probably taking an entry level job just to get my foot in the door. I'm not against that as long as the paycut is reasonable, and Mike was very supportive of the idea. In some ways it's exciting... it's also terrifying.

I'm not even sure what different kinds of work there are for telecommuters. Right now I'm focusing my search on technical writing. I think I would like the work, I know someone who does it and it sounds interesting because you're always learning something new, but the methodology stays pretty much the same. Lord knows I like to write. Even if I'm not getting paid to write a novel, I'd still be getting paid to write, and that seems like a step in the right direction. The question is... can I find a job doing it? I have time to look. If I find one in the next couple of months, there's nothing stopping me from taking it. If it takes a few months, that's okay too (although I will start to get nervous at some point).

We've been doing research about farming and livestock. I found the coolest magazine... Urban Farm. I read one issue and learned so much that I subscribed and I can't wait for the next issue... too bad they only publish six times a year. I have also bought some pretty good books about how to improve soil and the easiest, most efficient ways to grow things. Mike has been doing all kinds of research too. There are some things that interest only me, some things that interest only him, and several things that both of us are interested in... it works. :)

So I'm very excited about our future. Is it time yet?.... How about now?... Now is it time?...

324 - Hmph

2011-05-22T22:39:00.000-05:00

Either the rapture didn't happen yesterday, or - as I have suspected all along - people on the road are so evil that the rapture did happen and none of them left. Was really hoping for some elbow room out there...

My tomatoes are finally starting to put out. The bigger, more exotic tomatoes are taking their time, but the four that sprang up on their own are very prolific so far. At this point about ten tomatoes have ripened up. Only four survived. I ate the rest... *evil laugh* Can't wait to taste my first Cherokee Chocolate, Black Krim, and Blue tomatoes. Yum.

Starting to look at land in earnest. Mike and I are both eager to get started on the next chapter of our lives, it's just a matter of finding the right place. In some ways I would prefer to build, but it takes longer. And land without a home on it requires a larger down payment, has a shorter repayment term, and a higher interest rate. With a home we can go conventional... less than 5% APR for 30 years with a one downpayment. And we don't have to deal with the headaches of building a house. On the other hand, building a home gives you creative license, and that can be exciting. It just seems like it would be overwhelming, and in the meantime we'd have to live in a doublewide or something - which is fine, but it's an added expense. Don't know what's going to happen. We've seen some really nice properties, they're just exorbitantly priced or too far west. (I don't want to be ass to elbows with Mexico)

I took a couple of days off from work to get my head together and that really helped me. All of my friends (blog friends included) were wonderful, they gave me space but were there if I wanted to talk. Only one person hugged me, but she waited until I was ready (which I know was hard for her because she's the first to give you hugs when you have a bad day). During my time off I took care of some things I had been putting off... I slept in... basically took some me time and didn't push myself to do anything.

Even though he wasn't physically here, Mike was always there for me, and that helped me enormously. Poor thing, he is 9-1/2 hours ahead of me so sometimes I get a message from him and realize he's up at 3 or 4 in the morning. He has a way of calming me down and giving me perspective about things. We've figured out what our next steps are going to be, but I have realized that we were (okay, I was) too open with everyone about things, and for my own sake I have realized that I need to keep things to myself. So I can't tell you if we're going to try again, give up, or let nature take its course at this point. It's hard for me to keep secrets when they're my own secrets, so this is going to be a challenge for me, but I think it's for the best.

I'll leave you with good news. I bought one of these so I wouldn't have to scoop cat litter anymore. Healthier for me, healthier for the cats, no more scooping or lugging boxes of litter home from the store. I was happy, happy, happy...

It was such a pain in the ass because the tube where the wastes go down the drain would NOT fit down the laundry drain with my washer hose, and I don't have enough room in my bathroom to put it there (plus I like it being in the garage). My next door neighbor suggested clear, flexible plastic tubing, so when I finally got the right size, that worked great. Then it was a matter of getting the cats to use it. Took Gracie a few days, but now I usually see poop in the bowl. She makes me so proud. Daphne, on the other hand... she's special. I tossed one of the litter boxes so there was only one left, and I haven't scooped it in almost two weeks. I put it right next to the cat genie as if to say, 'nasty litterbox... clean litterbox... your choice' and she insisted on using the nasty litterbox. Finally, this morning I saw her poop in there with Gracie's. *dance of joy* A few more days of that and I can toss the other litterbox!!! Woot!!!

323 - Epic Fail

2011-05-18T20:50:00.001-05:00

Remember how excited I was?

That made the fall all the more dramatic... No follicles. None. Had my camera ready to take pictures, felt like an ass. Estrogen rose a little then it actually dropped. So we're basically done with this cycle. I may try again... I don't know. It was a more difficult process than I thought it would be. A few highs, and way too many lows. Has made me feel pretty bad about myself as a woman actually. Like a failure. Does make me feel justified in my decision not to involve my parents though.

Mike and I are discussing our next steps, but I realized I told way too many people about this process and will now have to deal with sympathetic looks and unsolicited advice about what we should do now... and I really don't need that. I wish I had kept my mouth shut. If I sound bitter I'm sorry, I have had a rough couple of days. Stayed home from work to get my head on straight. Did better today, didn't feel like a zombie like I did from late Monday until I woke up this morning. My eyes aren't leaking anymore (seriously there's a difference between crying and suddenly realizing there are tears streaming down your face). May go in tomorrow. Don't know yet. Seriously debating it. Don't have vacation time so it eats into what we can save if I have to take leave without pay.

On the upside, this little episode proves that I really do have the best husband in the world. Being on different time schedules with intermittent internet access makes it hard, but he checked in on me anyway. He has said all the right things to make me feel better about this, and about going forward. Somehow I got extremely lucky and ended up with him. Can't wait until July when I can feel his arms around me again... miss that so much.

Anyway, probably won't be blogging for a while. Who knows, right now I don't know how I feel from one second to the next.

322 - Owie

2011-05-13T17:58:00.000-05:00

The clinic I go to posts lab results on a patient portal. I meant to look at the numbers when I got the news that my FSH was normal, and promptly forgot... so as I was going to bed that night I suddenly remembered and got up because I knew I wouldn't be able to sleep until I saw them. My FSH went from 17.4 down to 2.57. I'm not just normal, I am on the lower end of normal. So I felt even more reassured by that. A friend suggested that maybe the fibroid they removed was the culprit all along, and I agree. I'm sure the birth control and the acupuncture and the lower stress levels all played their part, but the fibroid makes a lot of sense.

Last night was an adventure. My first shot. Getting the liquid into the syringe didn't go quite as smoothly as I expected. I've loaded syringes before, for the cats, but for some reason, even though the tip of the needle was below the level of the liquid, it just wasn't going in. Finally got the 1 cc of liquid in though. Then I started mixing it with the powders, one vial at a time. About halfway through I noticed there were 2-4 drops worth of liquid left in each vial, which isn't such a big amount in just one vial, but multiply that times eight and it starts to matter. I had been putting the vials over the syringe and pulling down, but had seen a video online where a woman held the vial at an angle and put the bevelled edge of the needle in the lower corner of the vial... that worked great, so I went back and collected all the drops. Tonight it shouldn't take quite as long to mix everything now that I know what to do (I was still well within the 20 min time limit).

So I psyched myself up, changed the needles out (one for mixing, one for injecting), was pleasantly surprised to see how small the needle was compared to the cap that covered it. I had swabbed the area with alcohol before I mixed everything, so I just went for it. Forgot to pinch a damn inch. After the needle was in there, I panicked and pinched it anyway... what the hell good I thought it was going to do, I don't know... Started to push the plunger...

I remember the nurse said I could use 1 cc up to 1-1/2 cc's of liquid if it burned 'too much'. I understand now what she meant. It burned. It wasn't such a big deal to stick myself with the needle, continuing to push the plunger was not such an easy matter. I'm kind of glad now that I had to do it myself, because I had control over it. I think had Mike been doing it, I would have screamed, because he would have shot it all in there at once - like I had been planning to do. So I thought when I pulled the needle out the burning would stop. Oh but no. It did NOT stop. Instead, it continued to burn, and my muscles started to clench. It felt like that time when I was seven, getting a shot in the thigh and I tensed up and almost broke the needle... hurt like hell for the next few days. That kind of pain is what I felt immediately after the needle came out.

So I started feeling warm, and light-headed... that nasty pre-cursor to puking, know what I mean? I went to lay down... started rubbing the area trying to get the medicine distributed instead of it sitting there localized. That wasn't working, so I started jiggling my tummy fat instead. You laugh, but after a minute of doing that, I felt better. I was able to get up and do things again and even though I sometimes still feel tender in that area, it hasn't bothered me much.

I learned a few lessons from that... I will be sitting down when I give tonight's injection, and I will pinch before I poke, then I will immediately lay back and begin to jiggle. Also gonna move the shot to 9 o'clock so I can take a bath first, that may also help because I'll be relaxed and my skin will be warm. And if I don't feel well I can just go to bed without having to worry about anything else.

Felt okay today. A little crampy, slightly bruised. I think as the level of medication increases in my system I may start to feel additional side effects like nausea and sore boobs. Luckily I have a weekend to laze around, and a house full of food. Except for acupuncture, I don't have to go anywhere.

One down... a few more to go... I will know more about what's happening and when on Monday.

Have been struggling with what to tell my parents when I get pregnant. Thinking the question of how it happened is inevitable since Mike is in Afghanistan at the present time and has been since the beginning of April. Thought about all the lies I could tell them... the doctor removed a fibroid (true) and gave me Clomid (true in the past) so when I went to visit Mike (true) in Italy (false) the stars aligned and yea! - you're having grandkids! (pause for reaction) Or I could soften it to IUI instead of IVF, omitting the surgeries and the medication... it was just a catheter and Mike's boys - hey what a party - by the way - you're having grandkids! (pause for reaction)

But in the end I think I will just tell them that I've decided not to go into detail about how it happened, everyone just needs to be happy that it did happen. And did I mention that you're having grandkids???

I know that if they find out I did IVF and didn't tell them, they will turn into a reason to be upset with me. If I tell them, they will worry, and they will get their hopes up (and they will stress me the F out). By not telling them I'm actually trying to do something nice. But somehow I doubt they are going to see it that way. I don't want to have to argue about it and tell them that this is between Mike and I and they didn't need to be involved, or bring up two recent health events they didn't share with me... I don't want it to get ugly and I realized I was already bracing myself for it. I honestly hope they will be so happy I'm pregnant that it won't come up, but I know my mom, she's more curious than a cat and like a cat, when she gets ahold of something, she won't let it go. So keep your fingers crossed for me.

321 - BEST DAY EVER!!!

2011-05-10T19:17:00.001-05:00

My FSH levels were "normal"!!! That means I start medication on Thursday!!! That was the last thing I was really worried about, everything after this should be smooth sailing. I know that sounds weird, but if the medication didn't work the there was no 'everything after this'.

I want one of these. My friend said they're cheap entertainment. I think they would be... like tennis, with bugs. Muahahaha.

My credit card company surprised me today. I had to put the IVF on a card, I couldn't get a loan. So I fretted up until the day I paid, that they might lower my credit limit and I'd be fuc... screwed (sorry Ms. A). Economy is bad, my debt level has increased considerably over the last few months for various reasons... I just had a bad feeling. Yesterday when the transaction went through I was happy. Then I got home and there was an envelope with checks in it that I could write against that same account, but if I used the checks, I would get 0% APR through November of 2012. By using my card, I was going to pay 18.99%... at the time I had no choice. So I called the credit card company and explained that I had gone online a week ago and there was no offer, but mere hours after I make the purchase I get a check in the mail. The rep told me what I expected to hear, but my intention was to speak to a supervisor all along, so I just asked to be transferred. When I spoke to the supervisor he said he could understand my frustration, and he gave me the 0% for 12 months!!! So we save about $450 in interest charges and we may even get money back because I get rewards dollars for purchases, although since it was through an offer I may not (and if I don't, it won't bother me... I am still happy). So I looooooooooooooooooooove my credit card company. I have always had good experiences with them, and today they went above and beyond anything I could have expected.

Anyway, I know that wasn't a non-IVF blog, but I can't help it. I hoped for the best, but i've had a lot of bad news lately, so I was still on edge, and to get good news was just amazing. I've been crying off and on about it, but they're happy tears. This time next month we could be pregnant!!!... Just gotta get over that first shot....

On the downside, I went to the dentist today and I have three cavities that need to be taken care of, plus 5-6 more spots that could turn into cavities. He prescribed me some higher percentage fluoride toothpaste and told me to floss every night and MAYBE I can reverse it to some extent. I'm also going to try to cut back on sugary sodas... with these trays in, the sugar just accumulates around my teeth and sits there... I knew it was probably dumb to drink them with my braces in and this just proves it. The worst part is, he said if he does fillings, it may change the shape of my teeth, and since my trays are very exact, they may not fit right in the future, they may have to be redone... I have to talk to my orthodontist tomorrow. Depends on how much it costs to redo those trays... I know I have two more in this box, and there is another box. Each box holds 8 trays but it may not be a full box... so at least another 6 months, I think I'm 2/3 of the way through the treatment... I don't want to pay another 1/3 of the cost and I'm sure insurance won't cover any of that additional cost. But... I also don't want my teeth to fall out... or to have to have root canals or extractions.

And his name is Mike, not Bob. I guess I was trying to keep one piece of my life private, but I figure I'm putting everything else out there, and he told me he doesn't care, so... my husband's name is Mike. Kinda funny... two of the most common names in the universe... Mike and Kristy... Kristy and Mike... it works. :)

320 - That's not normal

2011-05-09T19:21:00.000-05:00

It's counterintuitive to give yourself a shot, it's just something that seems... wrong when you try to rationalize the doing of it in your head. But if all goes well I am about to have to overcome that mental block. I had my teaching lesson this afternoon. My first injection should be an interesting experience, I have never been afraid of needles, but I've also never had to give myself a shot before. I'm supposed to pinch an inch (this is where it's beneficial to have some meat on your bones), stick myself, remove the needle, and release. I asked why I had to pinch and she said it help it go deeper into the subcutaneous tissue.

I told the nurse that this was like a track and field relay, so many hurdles to overcome. Today I did another bloodtest and another ultrasound. If my FSH levels are too high, they cancel this cycle, if they are under 20 I should start taking the injections this week. I aced the ultrasound, no cysts. The other purpose behind this ultrasound was to do a baseline so they can see how the lining of my uterus changes over the course of treatment. It should begin to thicken in preparation for an embryo to implant.

The teaching lesson itself was overwhelming. So much to remember. I took a few notes. There was a lot that didn't stick, because the timing was dependent upon some predecessor that could change depending on how I respond to the treatment. So I listened, but only with half an ear, knowing my calendar would be updated as things changed. I wanted to absorb it all, but there is so much information being thrown at you all at once. I asked a lot of questions and she was very patient with me. They always seem to be upbeat, patient, willing to answer questions. I'm sure they deal with patients even more frazzled than me... I don't know how they stay so calm.

I take the first medications in the evenings, I have a window, not a set time but I plan to take them at 8 pm every night, setting alarms on my phone so I don't miss a dose. Then as the follicle development progresses they add another medication to the regimen to prevent me from ovulating. When the follicles have matured they tell me to take the HCG shot. That one has to be timed exactly. She told me there have been patients who were told to take them shot at 9:15 pm but were going out to dinner so they took it at 4 pm. When they got to the egg retrieval there were no eggs because they ovulated. And there were some who forgot to take it that night, so they took it the next morning, and there were also no eggs to retrieve because they were still stuck to the follicles. I figure if I'm going to go to all the trouble of ultrasounds and blood tests and surgeries and injections... I'm damn sure going to pay attention to the most important shot of all. Otherwise it all goes to waste.

She said that after the egg retrieval I would probably be bloated, that ovaries are normally about the size of almonds, and because they're asking mine to produce more follicles than normal, they will probably swell to the size of golf balls. Some patients look four months pregnant. So I asked her how I would be able to tell the difference between that and Ovarian Hyper-Stimulation Syndrome. She said with OHSS, all the fluid goes to the abdomen, so I won't go to the bathroom more than once or twice a day, I will have problems breathing because the fluid would push against my diaphragm, I won't be able to keep anything down, and laying down would be painful. She says it's "rare" with maybe 1 in 25 patients experiencing it... which doesn't sound very rare... but hopefully I won't be that 'one'. Anyway, she said to expect bloating and the cramping will probably last for a couple of days. I've already talked to my boss about being flexible with my time and the possibility of working from home during some of this time. Since my pants probably won't fit and it sounds like I'll be pretty uncomfortable, I may be out for that whole week, from the retrieval to the embryo transfer and the period of bedrest too. He has to clear it with his boss and the GM of the company so it's not a sure thing, but they usually work with people on medical issues. I also told him I don't know how the medication is going to make me feel, that's a lot of hormones and drugs to be taking in a short amount of time. He's pretty understanding... hell, one day he came into the office to ask me how I was doing and I started sobbing. He sat down and talked to me for a while until I felt better... there's a lot to being a manager...

One of the medications may cause a reaction at the injection site... especially in fair-skinned people... yippee... I'm fair-skinned... Has some kind of preservative in it that irritates the skin. She said I may get a small welt like a mosquito bite that goes away in 20 minutes, or I may get a large welt that lasts for several hours, but not to be concerned, it's normal.

So I'm on my way... it all hinges on the results of my bloodtest and I should know by tomorrow afternoon. I'm am hopeful that the acupuncture and a reduced level of stress has helped my levels decrease. I've had three sessions. The last two involved electrical stimulation to four of the needles in my abdomen, and I also got acupuncture to go in the form of small needles in my ear. I managed to keep the last ones in until the day of my next appointment, I actually pulled them out or they would probably still be there. With all the vitamins and supplements, and some changes in my diet, I do feel somewhat more , energetic, which is good because I've been extra busy this last month runing all kinds of errands and going to appointments. It's made me feel good about myself too, one of my main fears about having kids is that when you need something you can't just put it off, and I used to put things off. Once I was home, I was home and that was it. But for the last couple of months I've been breaking out of the box more and more, and I know that when something needs to be done, I can motivate myself to do it. I know that sounds like a silly thing to be proud of, but... yeah...

All this really makes me miss Bob more. I could really use his help with this. Even though I have a lot of support it's a very isolating experience... People can only help me so much and I have to do the rest myself. But it would be nice to have him at the appointments, or being there when I feel like shit and need a hug, or helping me with the injections. Part of me recognizes that we don't have the time to wait for a better situation, but part of me regrets that this is my first pregnancy (hopefully), possibly only pregnancy, and I don't get to have him here with me, talking to my belly, going shopping for baby stuff, going to the ultrasounds, getting me weird food when I start to crave stuff... all the stuff that parents do together before the baby comes. As hard as it is for anyone to go through this, it's especially hard for me because I'm missing half of the team. He will be here for the delivery, he'll save his leave up for that, but after a little while he has to go back and finish up the contract. So it still sucks, but hopefully it won't be for long, he should only have another month or two to go at that point. As a friend pointed out to me, I'm determined to do this, and I am very organized, I will set my alarms, I will follow the treatment plan to the letter, I will do what needs to be done and I will be okay. I think. To be honest I'm kind of terrified right now. Terrified of what happens if all this doesn't work, and terrified of what happens if it does.

Tomorrow I'll try to post something non-IVF related... I have some ideas already but I'm tired of typing and this is long enough...

319 - Good to go

2011-05-06T21:56:00.001-05:00

Yesterday I had my saline sonogram. Basically the doctor inserts a small catheter into your cervix, and through that he puts a saline solution into the uterus so he can see the contour of the uterine cavity. Once the saline is in, he inflates a balloon (I guess to stop the water from coming back out), and then inserts a sonogram wand to look at the uterus and ovaries. It wasn't as uncomfortable as I'd feared, I thought the catheter would be really, really painful, but I didn't even feel it go in. The first time he inflated the balloon I didn't feel it either. But he said, "Sometimes the catheter doesn't seat right and you have to put it in further." So he did. And I felt it a little more. When he re-inflated the balloon I felt it for sure. It was a sharp pain, but momentary. Figured I'd be crampy afterward but I wasn't... but that could be because I took 600 mg of Ibuprofen about an hour before I went in... He had also given me a two pill Z-pak to take that morning so there would be no risk of infection.

He was really good about telling me what he was doing and what to expect. He's growing on me, I'll admit.

When he first came into the room he said, "I'm sorry I took so long, I had to pull the procedure up on the internet so I'd know what I was doing. The good news is, so far everything is going exactly like they said it would!" And then came the jokes... What's blue and looks like a bucket?... A blue bucket... What's red and looks like a bucket?... A blue bucket in disguise. I told him my Bin Laden joke: Guy walks into a bar and says 'bartender - give me a bin laden', bartender asks, 'what's a bin laden?', guy says, 'two shots and a splash of water.'

So after that, we went to his office. I told him I was going to try the other chair this time, because the one I'd always sat in before seemed like nothing but bad news. Sure enough, it was the chair all along... he said my uterus and ovaries look fantastic and I'm all set. I'm fully healed from my surgery and I don't have any cysts on my ovaries as I'd feared I might. I take my last birth control pill on Sunday. I'm sure you're wondering why I'm taking birth control when I'm trying to get pregnant... and since I am obviously having trouble and Bob isn't here it seems further pointless. Apparently the birth control pills thin the uterine lining, calms the ovaries and lets the doctors control when you ovulate, and that way they can schedule their patients. Also seems to reduce or prevent ovarian cysts. So I stop that on Sunday. Then on Thursday evening I start taking my shots. On Monday I have a teaching appointment to learn how to mix my medication and give myself injections, and I have a baseline ultrasound. Tuesday I have a dental appointment because I know you need to do that before you get pregnant, as gum infections have been said to lead to miscarriage, so I'm just getting checked out. Pretty sure I have a cavity or two, just want it all taken care of before it's too late to do anything.

So as usual, I start to relax and then comes the snafu. I'm flying my cousin in to stay with me after the embryo transfer because I have to be on bed rest for three days. I thought when I started the meds, I plugged the date into the calendar and day by day I knew what was happening. Not so. The old calendar showed me taking ten days of meds, the new one shows eleven. Apparently I can take the medication anywhere from eight to fourteen days, it all depends on how my body responds to it. So I won't know when the egg retrieval is until 48 hours prior. But, the good news is, that gives me five to seven days notice for the transfer. So it sucks that I have to rely on my friends to take me to two more appointments and I can't tell them when those appointments will be, but it sucks worse that I can't schedule my cousin's flight. Thank god for Southwest Airlines... they only charge you the difference in fare, no change fees. So it only cost me another $30 to reschedule her flight... I'm just guessing at the moment, but the first flight date was definitely wrong so it had to be done.

Getting excited... things are really starting to happen now, and I'm hopeful that I will surprise them all and produce plenty of follicles and viable eggs, but yeah, I'm worried that this may all be for nothing. The acupunture-to-go is still in my ear. I have managed to keep the two needles in there for a week. When I wash my hair I cup my hand over my ear and I think that has helped the bandaid stay on because the adhesive was never wet. I figure the longer, the better... I'll get more benefit from it. I've also been eating better and while I haven't lost much weight I think I have lost a little, which I figure helps.

Other than that, I guess the big news that already came and went is Bin Laden. Initially I was worried about Bob being in a country full of pissed off terrorists... then I got fed up with people on Facebook posting crap about it. I feel like Bin Laden must be laughing in hell, because instead of bring our country together, his death has managed to further divide us. There seem to be two camps... those who think Obama walks on water, and those who think he's the anti-Christ, with very little in between. I just can't fathom that Obama is getting credit for this. All he did was happen to be in office at the time, the military and intelligence communities did all the work. There was actually a woman who wrote in to a radio show I listen to who said she was getting tired of Obama and wasn't going to vote for him if he ran again but 'now that he's killed Osama Bin Laden' he's got her vote.

I really fear for our country because the sheeple are taking over... I don't like the guy, but it isn't even about that because I don't really like any politician, it's about thinking for yourself instead of taking what the media tells you at face value. It's about realizing that Obama didn't start the manhunt, he didn't support the tactics used to gather the intelligence, he was going to pull our troops out of the middle east, so while everyone is doling out credit, give some credit to Bush, give most of the credit to the military, and give some credit to Obama for his part in it. But don't give all the credit to Obama and don't give all the credit to Bush, neither of them put their lives at risk, and neither of them pulled the trigger.

318 - Olivander's Wand Shop

2011-05-02T12:03:00.000-05:00

So I got my medication over the weekend... When I stacked it in the closet it reminded me of Olivander's wand shop. Before that, it looked like this...

Ignore the spice rack... that's not part of the routine. :)

317 - Outlet

2011-05-01T00:12:00.000-05:00

With everything going on in my life lately I feel like I need an outlet. I'm supposed to do things that relax me, things I used to do but don't anymore. Turn the tv off. Listen to classical music. Play the piano. Turn the water fountain on and light some candles. Read more.

Write.

I got out of the habit of writing this blog because I was busy, but now that I have oodles and scads of time to myself I think I need to get back into it. Plus I need to let off some steam (once you see how long this entry is you will probably run away, and you're probably smart to do so). Hopefully it all makes sense... I'm so tired I can't see straight.

In the little posting that I've done, I mentioned that Bob and I got married. And I let you know that we were trying to start a family. I think I also may have told you that I was going to ditch the fertility clinic and find another one. I have to eat crow on that one. After a few more visits, and a peek at my doctor's (impressive) credentials I have changed my tune. I was frustrated at the time, and my doctor doesn't have much of a sense of humor so I find it a little hard to relate to him, but we've gotten past that. They did do testing to confirm everything, I guess he's just seen this enough that he has a good idea what the diagnosis is going to be, whereas I am a newbie. The staff at the clinic is top notch from the receptionist to the nurse to the surgical staff.

So here's where we are now...

I have high FSH levels. Normal is between six and ten, I've found some internet articles that expand that to twelve, mine is 17.4. I kind of let that get to me at first, but later found out that FSH levels vary from month to month, so I don't know if that's high or low for me. I also have low ovarian reserve, which means the quality and quantity of my eggs is on the decline. Early on Bob tried to cheer me up by telling me I could eat rocks, and his chicken reference totally went over my head... he suffered badly for that... my sense of humor about this comes and goes and I know it hasn't been easy for anyone to deal with, but Bob gets the brunt of it. He's a get to point A from point B kind of guy, very logical and wants to fix everything. I'm an examine all the angles and figure out my next move in all scenarios kind of girl. Doom and gloom at first, then I make a plan. Don't always want people to solve my problems, sometimes they just need to listen - one of my friends is really bad about giving advice and it drives me nuts. Ironically when I was talking to my doctor about what I can and can't take once the meds become a part of my regimen, he said I could eat rocks for all he cares. Lookee there, he's developing a sense of humor! (and Bob was on the right track)

So basically, there is a chance that I could get pregnant the old fashioned way, although that obviously couldn't happen until Bob gets back, but the most direct path to motherhood is IVF, and my doctor has told me that if we want to get aggressive about it - now is the time, in a few months my hormone levels can change. How much does that suck? It took some careful, though rushed, consideration. When we first started this discussion I wasn't too keen on it... at this point I look back and think I had the right idea, but I really want children, and I know that as much as I want them, Bob (possibly) wants them more (you should see the look he gets when there is a baby around). He has assured me that if this doesn't work, we'll be okay, that he's happy with the way things are and won't love me any less. That helped a lot because I was dealing with my own demons about what might happen to us if I couldn't have kids, in addition to dealing with my own feelings about the situation I find myself in.

I told Bob that it makes me feel a little like a breast cancer survivor. Many women who lose their breasts feel like their womanhood has been taken from them. To find out that I probably can't have children without help was hard to come to grips with. I've gone my whole life trying not to get pregnant because I've always assumed if I didn't take strict precautions it would happen at the drop of a hat. For most of my life I didn't want children, and now that I do it's a slap in the face that it's such an ordeal. And ordeal it is.

First there are the tests. Blood tests to find out if you ovulated. Blood tests to find out if your have infectious diseases. Blood tests to find out if you've been exposed to the chickenpox. Blood tests to find out how your eggs are doing. Blood tests to get other hormone levels. After that there are the procedures. Hysteroscopy to see what condition your uterus is in (mine was fine except for a small fibroid, which they removed). Tubal cannulization to run dye through your fallopian tubes and determine if they're open. Thank god they put me under for that. Next I will have a saline ultrasound which sounds super duper extra fun... I get the speculum, and then they put a catheter through my cervix to fill my uterine cavity with a saline solution before they put the friggin' wand in. This shows them what the lining looks like and how my body has healed since the fibroid was removed (it was 30% in the uterine wall and 70% in the uterine cavity so there could be a scar, which we don't want). It also shows them if I have any cysts on my ovaries. From what I've read, as long as the cysts don't produce estrogen it shouldn't hold anything up, and since they have me taking birth control pills, that lowers the liklihood that I should have cysts anyway. But I have had at least one in the past. I don't get to go under for this procedure... I just take some over the counter Motrin and an antibiotic to prevent infection. They claim it's not that uncomfortable... I don't quite believe them... and I wonder where the saline solution goes when they're done. If that's fine then I start the drugs.

I have three kinds of stimulation drugs. I have to mix two of them from powdered form and inject them. Since Bob isn't here I get to do that myself. When I say he isn't here it's just a statement of fact, nothing more, it just makes it harder on me in many, many ways. I have to be more dedicated than most. No one to remind me, no one to help me, no hugs, but he is there every day to encourage me and he does everything he can. The third drug comes in later, and is in a pre-filled syringe that I can squirt into this other mixture so I can take them all in one injection. If I understand the process (and I so don't...) all of those drugs tell my body to create follicles, which is step one in the egg creating process. Then there is the shot I have to refrigerate, I think I take it 36 hours before the egg retrieval and it is the shot that tells my body to actually produce the eggs. I also have pills that I let dissolve under my tongue, muscle relaxers for after the embryo transfer, antibiotics for various reasons, steroids to prevent inflammation, and pain relievers (for obvious reasons). All the meds, plus the syringes, needles, alcohol wipes and a sharps container were delivered this afternoon. That in itself was an odyssey that I will spare you.

Between all that I've had to deal with the pharmacy, my insurance company, try to figure out who is going to drive me to three different appointments that I can't drive myself to, and try to schedule a flight for my cousin who is going to stay with me when I have to spend three days lying in bed (not sitting up... lying down... they were very specific - I am only to get out of bed to go to the restroom). Plus I have to deal with my emotions about everything. Bob being gone is hard to deal with, trying to stay positive about all of this is difficult. There are so many ways it could go wrong and I try not to focus on them, but I know they exist. Since my FSH levels are already high, my body may not respond to the stim drugs, they're basically FSH and are trying to spike my levels so I'll produce follicles. If I don't produce follicles, we're done. If I do produce follicles and they turn into eggs, they will do an egg retrieval. Then they put the eggs in a petri dish with Bob's sperm and hopefully embryos form. If the eggs aren't viable there are no embryos and we're done. If embryos do grow, they choose the healthiest ones and transfer them into my body via cathether. If they don't attach to my uterine wall, we're done. I will be on a regimen of progesterone to support the pregnancy and hopefully we have two beautiful babies at the end of this.

I've started thinking about the success rates of IVF and I wonder how much of it has to do with the patient. If I don't mix my drugs correctly, if I don't take them at the right time, if I inject them in the wrong place, if they were stored at the wrong temperature, if I take something that adversely interacts with the drugs (grapefruit juice???)... all of those factors affect the outcome. What the doctors do is certainly a large part of the equation, but they are professionals, they do this day in and day out. So I wonder how much of the first round IVF failure rate has to do with user error, the drug learning curve. I have to go to a teaching appointment so the RN can show me how to inject myself... It's overwhelming... I freaked out when I first saw the instructions on how to mix the medications I have to inject. And then there was a nineteen page document about IVF. I flipped. I was sobbing and typing an email to Bob... it's stressful. Every aspect of it from the diagnosis, to the procedure, to the finances, to the outcome.

To deal with the stress of it all I started going to acupuncture. The clinic I go to actually recommends it and I have read several articles that claim acupuncture does improve fertility in women undergoing IVF (specifically IVF). It either has to do with stress reduction, or bloodflow to the reproductive organs, or maybe it's just a placebo effect or all of the above, but whatever it is, it supposedly improves your chances by up to 50%. They claim it can also reduce FSH levels, which is golden. I've only been to two sessions so far, but I like it. I still tense up when Marie puts the needles in, some sting, some don't, but it's my body's expectation that it will sting that makes me tense... She spent about an hour at the first session going over my medical history, my eating habits, my sleeping habits, my stress level. She put me on a b-complex vitamin and a couple of enzymes. I'm sold on the enzymes, I'm not bloated for the first time in months. As for the acupuncture itself I think it's more of an internal change than one I can feel at the moment. Today she added electricity to the mix, a small electric current via alligator clip on some of the needles in my abdomen, it tingled is all. And before she sent me home she stuck two tiny needles in my ear, they're covered by a bandaid so you barely notice them. It sort of itches, but is otherwise unnoticable. Have to remember it's there when I scratch though... otherwise I am reminded... The longer they stay in, the better, but if they fall out it is okay. I have two, one is for relaxation, the other is for my uterus. Fun! Did you know that acupuncture is a four year degree? I had no idea.

I've been trying to relax as much as I can. It seems like every day there is a new curveball being thrown at me to prevent that from being completely successful, but I still try. Bob does his best to talk me down, and it really does help. I know he feels helpless being so far away and probably doesn't realize how much his emails do help. We both made the choice for him to take this job, so I can hate the situation, but I'm not at all mad at him for it. In a way, he has it worse than I do... I can take action, he can't and I know that has to frustrate him even more than he lets on. I also have a very good group of friends who are going above and beyond to help me out and be supportive and who put up with my wishy-washiness. I had to ask them a difficult favor by letting them know what's going on, but asking them let me initiate the conversations about it. At some point I realized that while things are going great and I'm excited I probably won't shut up about it... but if things go the other way, the last thing I need is people constantly bringing it up. And I know that's not fair. Plus, in my case it's even more important that I get past the first trimester before I tell people I'm pregnant. Again... I try not to think about all the negative stuff, but I have my aha moments.

One of the more difficult challenges is that I'm not telling my parents any of this. They would stress out over the surgeries, the medication, they would hover. But also, I don't want to get their hopes up. If it doesn't work, I think that's the kindest thing I can do, because I know mom has always wanted grandchildren. Me and Bob being disappointed will be plenty without anyone else having to go through it too. His family knows, some of them anyway. They handle it differently than my parents would, they don't worry as much. I'm trying not to involve them in the actual process though, partly because if I do and then my parents find out... it starts a shit storm that isn't fair to Mike's family. Also, I'm just getting to know them and this is a farily intimate thing I'm doing. To share it with people I've known for decades is hard enough, to have to ask them for help is even more difficult. I don't mean talking about it, I mean having people there when I'm at the doctor's office and things of that nature. If I get in a pinch I will ask, but otherwise I think it's best if I don't.

So that's pretty much my life at the moment. I try to keep myself occupied with other things as much as possible, but as I said, I have more time on my hands than I did a short while ago. And I'm not a very social creature, so going out every night doesn't work for me like it would most of my friends. Plus most of the socializing I do seems to center around drinking at some point, and I'm trying to avoid that at the moment. Trying to eat healthier and act as if I'm already pregnant so that it's not such a shock when I have to give certain things up... I'm going to miss bleu cheese... And I need to learn to sleep... but that's another subject altogether and this post is long enough.

I was telling Bob earlier that a lot of my friends have told me I'm taking on a lot all at once, but it doesn't always feel that way. When I set my mind to do something, I just do it. Bob is the same. We did decide to keep the house and not move. I'm not trading Scout in just yet. Things are slowing down bit by bit and it has helped immensely. I adjust a little more every day to Bob being going, but I do miss him. Sometimes I smile when I think of him, sometimes I cry. I feel a little obsessive sometimes because I'm constantly checking my emails to see if he's written anything... it's a little pathetic - I sleep with my phone in case he IMs at odd hours because I don't want to miss an opportunity to talk. We do write back and forth a lot, and we IM, occassionally we talk on the phone. We talked today and even though it was short, it was good to hear his voice. Now if we could just figure out how to send hugs over the internet...

And now if my fucking neighbor would turn the music down I would go to bed because I'm exhausted... You know... I have parties, but I can't remember a single one where people were screaming all the time, hooting and hollering for hours, and I don't play my music outside where the neighbors have to be bothered by it - even during the day. I guess if I wasn't running on empty right now it might not piss me off so much, but in my imaginary world I just lobbed a grenade over the fence at them. In my imaginary world... this problem is solved... In reality I keep hoping that someone will call the cops or MAYBE they will suddenly become considerate of the people who live around them... no... surely that's too much to ask...

316 - More changes

2011-04-16T11:19:00.000-05:00

When Bob got to come home unexpectedly a couple of weeks ago, we decided to get hitched. Just as a large wedding can cause all kinds of headaches, so, it seems, can a small wedding. I think people expected me to get all giddy and gush about how beautiful the dress was, the decadent food, the poignant service... but it was just the two of us and it was a very casual ceremony. I didn't waste money on a dress I would wear once... I've already had a big wedding. Neither of us wanted that. Truth be told it doesn't feel any different except I have a ring and my last name has changed. That's not to say I'm not happy about it, I am... I've just been very happy for a long time now. :)

I'm back on a seed buying frenzy. All kinds of vegetables and trees and flowers. All kinds of interesting things you just don't see at the nurseries around here. We eventually want a lot of land, and I want it to be interesting to look out from the house and see color at all times of year... apple blossoms, cherry blossoms, flowering almonds, japanese maples, sycamores, dogwood, forsythia, jasmine, honeysuckle, blackberries, blueberries, figs, avocados... tomatoes of course, and other veggies. Right now about all I have in the ground is tomatoes. I wasn't going to go overboard like I did last year, but four tomato plants sprung up all on their own, so once again... I have eight. Which I can more than handle. I love tomatoes. This year I planted black krim, chocolate Cherokee, Mr. Stripey and a BLUE tomato. Yes blue. Look how gorgeous! More pics, bluer pics. I think the others are going to be a small pear shaped yellow tomato that was pretty prolific last year. I forgot to collect the seeds, so I got lucky... I won't make that mistake again this year.

Had to get a new computer... mine totally crapped out. This one is a Dell. I'm having to get used to a different keyboard placement and a new operating system, but so far I'm happy. I loved my VAIO, I just didn't have the money to get another one right now.

Anyway, just dropping in for a bit. Gonna go catch up on some blogs, and some gardening. Decided to relax this weekend. Things have been very stressful lately and I need some R&R!

315 - Obsession

2011-03-10T22:35:00.000-06:00

More on the house hunt... my apologies ahead of time, this is a 'mostly for me' blog, and it ends badly.

I couldn't wrap my mind around how such nice houses were in such a crappy area, so I did what I do, I obsessed, and I researched (obsessively). Crime stats are good. In the four mile radius around the neighborhood, no crime at all for the past 30 days. In the zip code, a few aggravated assaults and thefts, but no murder, rape or burgulary. It sounds bad, but it's pretty much on par with where I am now. I looked at flood plains, very low risk there. Awesome. I looked at days on the market, slightly less than where I am now. Good sign.

I finally realized that in the original zip code where my search began, there is usually a one street difference between the good part of town and the bad. What is the difference? The houses in this area are actually nicer, and much, much larger, they just aren't as close to the city. As a result, there isn't as much income potential when I go to sell the house, although two of the three are undervalued so there is a sort of instant equity already built in.

My decision is to go visit the area this weekend and see it for myself. Resale value isn't as important to me at this point. If I stay in this house for another year, I could end up losing equity, it's all risk. My house is already not quite worth what I'd hoped. It's a great house, people ooh and aah over it when they walk in, so I'm hopeful that when it goes on the market there will be a lot of interest and it will sell quickly, and for a good price, but you never know. The houses in my neighborhood have been on the market for an average of 145 days. That is a frightening number, especially when I look at the pics and don't see anything wrong with them (of course, things are different in person so there could be plenty wrong). Also scary -- when I price them out, most of them are priced under the $/sq ft from 2009. There are two exactly like mine but I have a renovated bathroom, new windows and gutters, and a large patio so I think I have the advantage, but it's all about finding the right buyer.

As far as why the prices are so low, I discovered that my front runner has probably been empty for the past three years. That explains that price. It looks like it was put on the market, taken off the market after five months, then recently put back on the market two years later, but never sold. The tax info says it's owned by "such-and-such estate," so I figure the owner died, and no one has lived in it since. One of the other houses is a foreclosure, which explains the price. The third house is more expensive, it's also turn-key and privately owned. So I'm happy with all the facts I've uncovered. I think Bob has a point, my agent knows his specific area very well, and his area is urban, it's close to downtown so that's the kind of real estate he appreciates. I'm used to a suburban setting, I kind of prefer it to be honest (really I want a rural setting, but we're taking that in baby steps...).

This real estate education I got is all like a mirror of what's happening in the economy. One of my friends lost her job with NASA... she has three kids, and child support isn't going to cover all of her bills. I have another friend who is a teacher, and she will be jobless come June... her husband recently quit his job for health reasons and the tenants in the condo they own are moving out (condo isn't paid for... the tenants were paying the rent). It makes me edgy. I don't like to see people in those situations. And every day they pull more and more funding from our budget, we're managing, but there will come a point when decisions have to be made, I hope not to be one of those decisions. I imagine that some of the houses I plan to look at are on the market as a result of this economy and it makes me sad for all of us. There doesn't seem to be a light at the end of the tunnel, just more problems to throw money at, more wars to fight, more taxes to pay.

Eyore, signing off....

314 - Long time, no posts

2011-03-09T20:24:00.000-06:00

And I bet I'm the first one to ever use that as a blog title... not.

So much going on... in October Bob's contract ended and I had to learn to stop calling it 'my house' as it is now 'our house'. We moved some of his furniture out of storage and I sold some of mine... Our styles are very complementary, so it was almost like I got to go on a shopping spree, only it didn't cost me anything, and the house looks fabulous. Last year's New Year's Resolution was to declutter and organize, I did do a lot of that in order to make room for him, but I'm still doing it. Just this week I shredded seven bags worth of old bills, last month I sold over $1,000 worth of furniture (and my treadmill), and I have also donated several bags of clothing and toiletries to a local women's shelter... and still there's more to do. Where did all this shit come from???

Bob is now is Afghanistan and he will be there for a year. As I said, his contract ended in October. He kept looking for work in the area but was unable to find anything, so through his network of friends/co-workers he got this offer to deploy and after we talked it over he decided to take it. It's fresh, he just left last week so I'm still adjusting to him being gone... I cry at odd moments and I send him a ton of emails throughout the day with stuff I'd tell him if he were here, probably drives him crazy, but I can't help it... I miss him. Funny how quickly I returned to my old habits, but things are a lot less satisfying than they used to be. Anyway, we'll be fine, we actually got to know each other through emails and IM and eventually started dating because of it, so it's old hat to us. If you want to make it work you can. There's nothing that can be done about the hugs, I just have to wait until the next time we see each other.

In the meantime I'm planning to visit him, probably in Dubai, then he will get a mid-tour break where we can spend time at home, or travel, and I will try to visit him again in Dubai after that. Hopefully we'll get to see each other every three months.

We've also been trying to get pregnant. I've spent my whole life trying not to so I wasn't sure that we could, and given that I'm almost 38 I was afraid I was getting too old... Wouldn't you know it -- I am having fertility issues. I took two rounds of Clomid, a drug that was supposed to make me ovulate, I started out at 100 mg and went to 150 mg for the second cycle. I didn't ovulate either time so my ob/gyn referred me to a fertility specialist. FML. Her nurse gushed over him, said I would love him. I think my expectations were too high... instead of loving him, I felt like I was sitting through a sales pitch.

Honestly I expected testing of some kind before a diagnosis and treatment was discussed. Thus far all they have done is put me on Clomid. There was no hormone testing, no tests to see how many follicles I'm producing each month and if any of them are turning into eggs, no dye through the fallopian tubes to see if they are blocked, no suggestion that I should lose weight, no discussion of how much stress I've been under lately, the fact that it's only been a few months since I stopped taking the pill was never considered, I don't know if I have PCOS or endometriosis... there is a lot between point A and point Z that could happen and hasn't. All this doctor did was tell me that they would give me FSH shots and wanted to freeze Bob's sperm to inseminate me with. He said at age 37, not ovulating, if they just give me the shots I have a 14% chance of conceiving each month. If they give me the shots and do an insemination my odds go up "by 50%," which is a 22% chance... which doesn't add up. It's an 8% better chance, and if you want to look at it this way, 22% is a 35% higher chance than 14%... but don't bullshit me with 50% and peer pressure that 'most people, given the odds would chose to take FSH and do the insemination'. When I weigh the odds, I'd rather just do the shots. Get me to ovulate, I'll take it from there. I would prefer to have testing done, get an accurate diagnosis, and then go from there before I do any of those things.

For now I'm going to get the results of my blood test, and I'll go in on Friday to get my progesterone levels checked, but after that I'm done with this clinic. There's another clinic that seems to take a more diagnostic approach and when I'm ready I'll give them a chance. There's really only so far I can go without Bob here. In the meantime I plan to try and lose some weight, and I'm taking an herbal supplement called FertilAid that is basically a prenatal vitamin with Vitex in it, and Vitex is supposed to normalize women's hormones/cycles. Here's hoping.

I also sold Trixie. We were going to start a family and she wasn't exactly a family car. It was hard, I still miss her, and Scout hasn't filled her shoes though Scout is a very nice car. Scout is a Mini Cooper Countryman, the new model in the Mini line, she has four doors and a hatchback trunk with fold down seats. We got a lot of bells and whistles, so she's 4-wheel drive, has the type of headlights that turn with the car, she's got navigation and tons of features... and she still smells new (which I do love, and yes I know that smell I'm breathing in is plastic toxins but I still get a rush of endorphins from it so leave me alone!). But she isn't my dream car, I guess you only get one. It's hard to know what to tell people when they ask if I love my new car... I do... but she's not Trixie. They don't know how to process that.

So next on my plate is moving. I would like to move further north, away from the coast, out of this NASA reliant real estate market, closer to my best friends. And it will be better for Bob's return, I figure we have a lot of choices to make and we will probably be here for at least a year while we come to some decisions. The area I am looking into is an up and coming area where the houses are being refurbed so there is an opportunity to earn quick equity. No guarantees, but the opportunity is there... only thing is, work will be required and thus far it's been more work than I'm willing to put into it (not into gutting houses, just willing to remodel a room or two and do some painting). This house is done, there is more I could do, but I've done all the improvements I can do and not price myself out of the market... I miss having projects, I like doing them, but I know my limitations. Found some amazing houses last night, only to find that the area is on the decline and my realtor says there are parts of town he wouldn't feel comfortable being in after 7 pm... it sucks because one of them was pretty much a dream house, so looking at real estate in a nice area that I can afford is a little disappointing now.

Since I last posted we also went to Niagara, visited a wolf sanctuary and Bob had a flying lesson. I'll have to tell you about those next time, and post some pics. (that's if any of you still read this blog... I would have given up on me by now) Miss you guys, hope you are well!

313 - A box

2010-11-09T15:27:00.000-06:00

One of my co-workers mentioned that she has purloined a large box and is planning to modify it into a playpen for her granddaughter. I told her, "You go girl -- you can't prepare kids for the future too soon in this economy!"

312 - Dear Oven, I've missed you

2010-11-07T15:24:00.000-06:00

I should stay away from HEB.

HEB is a grocery store; evil masquerading as good. It seems to have fresher produce, a better meat selection, a bulk aisle, and organic cleaning supplies / candles. This last is where I get into trouble. Today they were also selling herbs and arugula. So guess what I got (in addition to groceries)? Herbs and arugula... and candles... I spent way too damn much.

I love to cook, but I haven't bothered lately since it's just been me. Most nights I've had a baked potato, or a toasted sandwich for dinner, and I buy my lunches at the onsite cafeteria. Since Bob and I are pretty much living together now, until he deploys in February (if he does)... we've been cooking. It's nice, something fun we can do together, because he also loves to cook -- plus, it's healthier and there's more variety than if we ate out all the time (and cheaper... if I don't buy extraneous crap when I go to HEB...). Bob was in Cozumel with his sister and some other family members this week, but I get to pick him up at the airport tonight... *squee* he's been gone for a week, I miss him. But I digress... The house smells WONDERFUL because I have some chocolate bread pudding baking in the oven. Why oh why did I ever stop cooking??? I LOVE it, do you hear me? LOVE! IT!

So this weekend I've been organizing and cleaning. Got the cats some snazzy bowls on a small metal platform, looks nice and hopefully it'll make it even easier to keep the floor clean. I bought some risers for the pantry, so I can see all of my cans. I bought an airtight container for my flour, because as I was cleaning out said pantry I found two weevil-infested bags of flour that I had to throw out... gross, weevils are creepy and they make me sing "Weevils wobble but they don't fall down," which irritates me... Bought a compact spice rack so I could make space on the counter for the container I bought to put cat food in... after a few days the cats get all persnickety when the food gets stale... hoping to extend the life of the bag. Weeded out some recipes I cut out of magazines, the pile had become slightly unmanagable... it's back in line now. Got a decorative basket for the stuff that Bob throws on the bedside table. I've also been clearing out drawers and shelves so that Bob has space to put his stuff. Trying to make him feel at home. It's not easy. I've lived alone for over a decade AND I'm an only child... Don't get me wrong, the living with Bob part is easy, it's the making space for Bob that's been more difficult than I'd thought. I'm getting there.

I also scrubbed the grout in the kitchen. That floor was nasty. Never, ever, ever put white tile in your kitchen. Don't do it. I didn't do it -- it was the previous owners who did, in fact the whole house is white tile and grout that used to be white. I repeat -- never, ever. EVER.

This whole time change has got me messed up... since I've been in the kitchen I have been looking at the oven clock. The oven clock doesn't automatically adjust itself like my bedroom clock, the DVR, my computer and my phone do. Grrr. So I've changed it now.

This was kind of a boring blog. Oh well. Can't be exciting ALL the time, hahaha.

311 - It's just one of those days

2010-11-05T13:28:00.000-05:00

There’s no audio, only words, but wow... what words they are (I give this an R rating):

http://thesmokinggun.com/buster/west-virginia/woman-utters-line-never-previously-recorded-police-report

So after I read it, I looked at the ‘tags’ at the bottom of the story and I could already hear the commercial in my head:

“If things have progressed beyond that ‘not-so-fresh’ stage… you may have a condition known as HVO.”

-----------------------------------

Also, my company is apparently trying to bribe us to do our performance appraisals by giving us a piece of bubble gum. So my admin goes, "Here's your gum." She pauses. "Oh, you can't chew gum." (because I have braces) Another pause. "Well... can you suck it?" (and somehow the words "suck it" seem emphasized)

My bad luck, a co-worker, with a mind every bit as diry as mine, is standing next to me and immediately looks over with his patented 'I can't wait to hear the answer to THIS one' smirk... So now I'm afraid to walk through the hi-bay because I have a pretty good idea what's in store for me there...

310 - A day of silliness and an update

2010-11-03T20:01:00.000-05:00

Yesterday I wore this t-shirt. Even though it is pink.

And then I got a brilliant idea. Happened in the bathroom, from whence all my brilliant ideas seem to originate.

I walked into my co-workers office, made a magnet sound, and acted as if I couldn't control my legs as I made my way over toward him, attaching myself to his shoulder. He gave me a WTF? look, and I backed off, proudly displaying my t-shirt. He laughed.

Later he came into my office (drawn, no doubt, by the t-shirt) and asked if it took two dorks to make the magnet work. "Alas, no," I told him. "If I too were a dork, we would repel each other like two positive poles of a magnet." He seemed satisfied by my answer.

Proving indubitably that he is, in fact, a dork.

I tried this gag thrice more throughout the day and was quite pleased with the outcome. A good time was had by all.

Things with Bob are still wonderful. Don't get me wrong, they haven't been perfect, because no relationship is, but what I've found is that we have the ability to compromise and muddle our way through the rough patches. And the rough patches are pretty rare. Having been friends first has really helped a lot, because I knew who he was before we started dating... he's not for everyone, he's complicated. But I'm not for everyone either... I'm complicated. So we work.

I've met most of his family by now, and I love them, his son actually ran up and hugged me last time we visited (he just turned ten). Bob, Jr. is one cool kid, very easy to get along with, likes to read, smart as a whip. What I am really happy about, is that I really and truly like everyone, I don't just have to 'put up with' them, so makes life a hell of a lot easier. I always wanted a big family, and by God I am getting that! At some point in the near future we'll be introducing our families to each other. AND my friends Brian and Laura are coming here for Thanksgiving, so I'm excited that we'll all get to hang out, because they're family to me too and I am glad they'll get to meet each other.

Mom cracked me up because she said she had this image of the scene from My Big Fat Greek Wedding, where the guy's parents walk into this house full of gregarious Greeks and feel a little overwhelmed. She even put her hands in her lap and made that face. I told her 'no, no, no... you'll be fine...' But on the inside I was laughing, because I know how my parents are, and it's very likely that they will feel a little overwhelmed. I get my social anxiety from my mom, but I think she'll be fine if we start small.

Anyway, Bob and I have spent enough time together that most of the warts have shown themselves by now, on both sides, and I am still batshit crazy in love with this man. :)

309 - Drimmels Don't Go There

2010-10-12T20:28:00.000-05:00

I should just retitle my blog... All I blog about are my teeth...

Today he used the drimmel again. But this time he did minor gum surgery. At first I thought it was accidental... because he apologized... but then he added an addendum to his apology, "There was really no other way to get at that part of the tooth." So what you're saying is that you weren't sorry you sadistic maniac! You did it on purpose!

I hate new brace tray day. It always hurts. It especially hurts the Nanny McPhee tooth... the tooth they have dragged way the hell out front for some inexplicable reason. The tooth that bumps against my top tooth because they didn't drag the top tooth out too. Makes eating a big lot of fun. Makes having my trays out kinda risky... one good chomp when I'm not thinking, and I'm pretty sure I will knock Nanny McPhee right out of my mouth.

Grrrr. I get cranky when my teeth hurt!!!

But... I'm on tray seven. There are eight trays to a box. There are two boxes. I think that means I'm one tray away from being halfway done. Three weeks a tray... carry the one... that's twenty-seven weeks or six'ish months? Although as the treatment gets more aggressive... as it seems to be doing... we might go to four weeks per tray. Still... there's a light at the end of the tunnel... and I don't hear a horn... so I guess it's all good.

308 - An Observation

2010-10-08T19:01:00.000-05:00

So I get an email from Borders and I see a neat looking book cover... I feel that little spark of excitement -- because honestly... I do (first) judge a book by its cover. I'm intrigued. I click on it:

"Description: Told in three voices and punctuated by news articles chronicling the family's story, "Fallout" is the stunning conclusion to the trilogy begun in "Crank" and "Glass.""

Um. Okay.

I'm still a little interested, but irritated that there's nothing of substance in the description. So I look up Crank, to find out what the F the series is really about, since it's the first in the trilogy maybe their more generous with their info... Aaaaand this is what they tell me:

"Description: Ellen Hopkins' bestselling CRANK in hardcover for the first time"

Mmm-hmmm. Well... thanks for clearing that up. Seriously, I'm no longer interested. I've already had to do too much work. Now I'm just going to hop back to B&N as usual... and you can go screw yourselves.

Maybe I'm just cranky cuz I had my wisdom teeth removed last week and they're still healing. That, and the cold I contracted two weeks ago refuses to completely go away. Eating, between the braces having moved my teeth out of alignment, and the gaping holes in my jaw where my teeth used to be... is not the enjoyable experience it once was. But it's getting better. And the removal itself, despite my fears, really wasn't that bad. One minute the surgeon and I are are discussing where I went to high school, then I feel a warm liquid flowing into my vein, and before I can think another thought... I wake up and move to another room where I sit for about 10 mins before they release me to Bob. I was even cognizant enough to be able to tell Bob how to get home (he kind of remembers his way around so it wouldn't have been a tragedy, just might have taken longer). And by 'tell' him, I don't mean that I was a backseat driver, I just told him where to turn and warned him about the red light camera. :)

So it's done now. And I do feel a little dumber. ;p

Couple of days ago I sneezed for the first time since the surgery... and I never want that to happen again until I'm healed... I'd read in the literature that after the tooth is pulled, a blood clot forms. And this blood clot is a precious, precious thing. We don't want to dislodge it. So no smoking (no problem), no sucking through a straw, no spitting for the first 24 hours, and no soda for 48 (booooo)... Because.... I guess aside from making the bleeding stop, the clot also prevents air from contacting the now-exposed jawbone. Air on the bone = dry socket and we don't want that. We sooooooooooooooo don't want that. So when I sneezed... it felt like I dislodged something. And I freaked because I thought it might have been the blood clot. Turns out it was... chicken... I was still eating dinner and I hadn't rinsed my mouth yet. Things tend to become lodged in my top sockets despite my best efforts... in fact, I've come to think of those sockets as little Pez dispensers in my mouth... because my mind is warped and I think goofy little thoughts like that all damn day long... Anyway, it's a good thing my allergies aren't going crazy right now... that's all I can say.

Sorry it's so long between posts... seems to be catching, I notice a lot of us are slowing down. Hope everyone has a good weekend!

307 - The Perils of Gwendolyn

2010-09-14T18:16:00.001-05:00

...has nothing to do with the contents of the post...

Today I saw the orthodontist and got a new tray. I'm on tray #6. I am now 17 weeks into this process. I think I have another 20 months to go. Oh joy. To the world.

Whose stupid idea was this again???

Let me tell you a little story about tray #5... (are you eating? don't eat)

I was in Charleston. My aunt didn't want to go out for dinner. The hotel had a happy hour with snacky type foods (broccoli, cauliflower, ranch dressing, chips and salsa, mini corndogs) and she was allllllll about the free snacky food. I sort of pooh-pooh'd the idea, but as it turns out... they had FREE DRINKS. I'm in! Let's go!

I asked for a mojito. The bartender asked what went in it. Bad sign. I told her. Turns out she thought I asked for a "Monkey Toe." Interesting. Turns out they didn't have mint, so I asked for a Vodka 7 and ended up with a Dirty Shirley... vodka, sprite and maraschino cherry juice. Yum. Then I took my braces out so I could eat. I wrapped them up and put them in a napkin, and I put them on the table. Normally I put them in my purse. At this point I'm pretty sure you know where this is going... but I'm going to continue on as if you don't.

Finished my DS and went back for another. The bartender gives me TWO because happy hour was almost over. SCORE! Kristy has a new favorite bartender. I asked if I can take them up to my room. She says I can do whatever I want to with 'em -- but I can't take the glasses home. Deal. Time to party with the twins.

We go back to the room... me, my aunt and my two dirty dates for the night (was really missing Bob... a lot...). I shut the door and set my drinks down... and then I realized... someone wasn't at the party.

FUCK! I'm naked! Where are my braces? (sorry Ms. A... it was the most appropriate expletive for the situation)

I tore ass down the stairs and across the lobby... only to find... people already sitting at our old table...and my braces were not involved in their conversation...

I explained my situation to the bartender. She told me to talk to the guy in the kitchen, who then led me to... the industrial sized trashcan... that I dug through... to retrieve... my braces... past cold mini corndogs... globs of ketchup covered napkins... partially masticated limes... grease encrusted ice cubes... you get the (disgusting) picture. I found the bottom tray first, and that gave me the fortitude to keep going until I found the top tray. But just barely. It was looking pretty grim. (and yes, they had been wrapped in a napkin, but as the empty drinks were tossed into the garbage can, that napkin turned to mush and disintegrated... so...)

They had some sanitizer at the sink so I ran my braces under that for a few seconds. Then I went back to the room and soaped them up. Twice. Then I brushed them. Twice. Then as I sipped my second Dirty Shirley, I soaked them in the third one. (I earned praise from my ortho for that one) If I had remembered the mini bottle of mouthwash in the bathroom I would have rinsed them with it for good measure... but alas... By the time I finished my drinks I felt much, much better about the situation... though I still missed Bob.

A lot.

All in all I got lucky. I wouldn't be home for three more days... if I hadn't found them my teeth would have begun to shift and my whole treatment plan might have had to be altered since they make all the trays up front. Not to mention that my orthodontist only comes to the office near me on Tuesdays. Or that it would have cost me a lot of money to replace those trays and/or alter the treatment plan... So... icky as it was (and it really was a new low for me), I was elated to have found them. And thankful they hadn't dumped the trashcan into a dumpster...

My orthodontist was highly amused by this story. Have I told you he's sadistic? Funny... I figured he'd say he's heard the trashcan story a thousand times... guess I'm the only moron out there who's done it. Or the only one willing to talk about it. I understand... it's a painful memory... some people probably block the experience out altogether...

So today I got tray #6. And it is really working my upper teeth. My canines specifically, although I feel it all the way across. It hurts now... It's gonna feel GREAT tomorrow. I'm starting to get used to the pain. Thankfully I know this drill (bad choice of words)... the pain usually only lasts for a day before it subsides. And in the meantime, Motrin makes the world go 'round.

On another tooth related note... I'm going to have my wisdom teeth taken out soon. Not a happy camper. It's certainly not by choice. I was hoping to die with them still in my head. But I've resigned myself to the situation and I'm just waiting on the insurance company to do their pre-determination so that the oral surgeon's office can give me a cost estimate. I know my dental insurance covers 75% of the extraction, but I'm not sure about anesthesia, or the bone graft. Apparently I have cysts next to my two lower teeth, and my dental insurance doesn't cover the cost of removing them. They also don't contract with my health insurance. So I get to pay that grand out of my own (shallow) pocket... And speaking of pockets, that's where the bone graft comes in, since the holes will be so big (I'm feeling queasy now), they will dump the bone graft powder in there to fill the space, and it will help my jaw heal faster and prevent dry socket. So... that's good. Whee.

On the upside... THIS YEAR... I should be able to deduct some frickin' medical expenses! In years past I never met the magical number, but THIS YEAR... oh this year... I think I will... And if I don't... I'm gonna cry.

I feel left out... one of my neighbor's is reroofing their house... the other neighbor is on a tree trimming rampage... I um... pulled a few dead plants out of the garden on Sunday... And someday I'll get to that fence... but... it'll probably fall down first... :)

And I'm excited!!! My friends Brian and Laura are coming to see me for Thanksgiving. It's NOT about going to Austin to look around... it's ME they're coming to see. Me! Me! Me! I heart them. I can't wait!

P.S. This is my new favorite non-tribe blog... Check out the Barn... brand new baby moo cow! So cuuuuuuuute!!! I want one. (for you Brian: http://chickensintheroad.com/)

306 - Better than a sitcom

2010-09-09T21:11:00.000-05:00

This weekend was my long-awaited trip to South Carolina.

But first... drama at the retirement community. Sunday morning as we're heading out, this little old lady comes bursting into my aunt's kitchen full of doom and gloom. My aunt says hello. Lets her know we're about to head out, but proudly introduces me to this newcomer. She gives me a cursory acknowledging nod then turns her attention toward my aunt. "You aren't going to be happy to see me Rose," she says. My ears perk up, then I settle back with my breakfast and watch the show.

"I need to talk to you about your birds." This is going to be good. I can tell. "I want you to stop putting out the birdseed. The birds drop it over my yard and I have weeds." Rose disagrees. Politely. "I knew you were going to argue with me Rose. I've lived here for two years and I never had weeds until you started putting out your birdseed. So I'm going to call the Georgia Conservation Commission and I'll prove it to you."

My aunt says she's all for that, if it's the seed, she wants to know. The lady doesn't realize she's being sincere, she takes it as a challenge. "I want you to stop putting the seed out, and if it happens again -- YOU will be paying for someone to come weed my yard." Rose asks why she thinks it's the birdseed. "I've given that a lot of thought." And oh boy... she had. "All three of our garages face the driveway, and when someone raises their door to back out it scares the birds. What's the quickest escape route? Toward my yard." Well played. But...

I couldn't help myself. I chimed in. "So what would happen if she just put the seeds on the other side of her house?" She was flustered but she reluctantly admitted that might be okay. So good... we're agreed that it's okay as long as it's someone else's yard... hahaha.

Then, a couple of days later, it occurred to me. We could germinate the seeds and see what grows. I bet they're wildflower seeds. So that's what Rose is going to do. I also had another possible answer... the association pays a lawn service to mow the lawns. Lawn services mow business lawns, residential lawns, but they also mow overgrown fields. The mower blades pick up seeds, which are then distributed over the next lawn. That's the most likely answer.

Honestly it was more entertainment than most sitcoms provide.

So Charleston was nice. Smaller than I thought. Much like the Garden District in New Orleans and also has a French Quarter. The food was delicious, except the Bubba Gump's shrimp, which wasn't cooked to my taste. I like a little more firmness to my shrimp... just because they turn pink doesn't mean they're ready for me to ingest. But the bread pudding made up for it.

I also had one of the worst experiences of my life. We went to happy hour (me for the free alcohol, Rose for the free snacks). I had a drink. Went back for another and the bartender asked if I wanted two since HH was almost over... going pretty well so far... Then we went back to the room. When I eat I take my braces out. I usually wrap them in a napkin and put them in my purse... this time I left them on the table. F. U. C. K.
I tore ass down the stairs to the lobby and ran back to the table.

Someone else was sitting there.

C. R. A. P.

I had to dig through the trash. For my braces. You know... the ones I put in my mouth. It was gross.

They had some sanitizer at the sink so I ran them under that a few times. Went back to the room and soaped them up a couple more times. Then brushed them a couple of times. I still don't feel good about it. After that I paid a LOT of attention to where I put my braces when they weren't in my mouth...

Beaufort was very nice. We took a carriage ride in both cities, but the one in Beaufort had an edge. Pat Conroy's childhood home, for one. The houses and trees are just spectacular there. And they had a kick ass chocolate shop called The Chocolate Tree that actually supplied the chocolate for Forrest Gump.

Next trip is to New York to see Bob. He's on a travel jaunt right now and we're taking advantage of it. Planning to see Niagara Falls and cross into Canada. So I'm looking forward to that. Already starting to plan what to wear... I'm such a dork.

Here are some random pics from my phone... loving the phone...

305 - Dad Life

2010-08-26T19:21:00.000-05:00

LMAO, this is one of the funniest things I've seen in a looooooooooooooong time...

304 - State Troopers are not your friend.

2010-08-03T17:26:00.000-05:00

Drove to Austin to see Bob this weekend. I've made the trip once before, a long time ago, in a different car. It wasn't so bad in Trixie, just a little long toward the end, probably because I wanted to get there to see Bob. On the way in, I passed that IRS building that the crazy bastard flew his plane into a few months ago. It still looks ravaged and twisted. Would've taken a picture but I was driving, and I needed all my hands.

Got to meet his ex-wife, and she was very nice. Everyone has asked me if it was awkward to meet her. It wasn't. It's always awkward for me to meet new people, but beyond that, it really wasn't. They've both moved on and were able to become friends. Personally, I think it's great! No drama! Then we hung out with his son... had lunch at The Cheesecake Factory (red velvet cheesecake... that's all I'm saying), went to a park, and saw Dinner for Schmucks. He's such an easy going kid, I still feel a little awkward around him, but I'm loosening up. I'm just afraid to mess up. In the evening I got some Bob time and that was awesome, we always have a great time together... and unbelievably, it seems like things get better and better every time I see him. Still enjoying the hell out of this and my mindset is that instead of waiting for the other shoe to drop, I can't wait to see what happens next. And holy crap there's a lot happening...

That is, if my grandma doesn't steal him away from me first...

Sent a pic of us to my mom and dad, who happen to be visiting grandma, and dad sent a text back that said grandma, "says he's handsome, and if you don't want him, she does." -- Back off beyotch! I DO want him! LOL... I told him I'd let Bob know he has options. Bob's excited.

Next day I had to get up ridiculously early to take him to the airport for his stupid job... Then I hit the road, which was... in a way... nice, because being on the road at 5:30 in the morning on a Sunday means you pretty much have the road to yourself. And you get to see the sun rise. And drive through the fog. And no one is in front of you to impede your progress. But... being on the road by yourself is fraught with peril.

It exposes you to radar guns.

I got a fucking ticket. 84 in a 70. I was little Ms. Cooperative. Pulled over, shut the car off, rolled the windows down, didn't take my hands from the wheel until he asked for my license. He does the typical cop conversation, I give him my license, he runs my info... which should tell him that I haven't been given so much as a warning in 20 years... much less gotten a ticket or had an accident. I was SURE I was going to get a slap on the wrist and a 'slow it down ma'am.'

I got a ticket. $170. Next time I'm travelling in a low-cut blouse.

Or... I can pay $110 by way of apology (plus a $6 'convenience fee' because I did all the work and paid online) + $25 for defensive driving + $10 for a copy of my driving record (plus a $2 'convenience fee' for doing more work and paying online) + I have to get the form notarized which probably costs another $10 if there wasn't a notary at work. Add all that up and... $153 + 6 hours of my damn life.

I am not happy about it.

Also not happy that I don't get to see Bob for two weeks... I am having serious withdrawals. But we do talk a lot in the interim. In a lot of ways it brings us closer, and the whole 'absence makes the heart grow fonder' thing seems to be true. So.... can't bitch too much. I've got it good. ;)

303 - Woot!

2010-07-28T22:45:00.000-05:00

My counter is about to pass 10,000! Just didn't want it to go unnoticed. :)

Things are good, but hectic. Final stages of planning the Alaskan cruise. Busy time of the month at work. Lots of thinking. Not much blogging. Sorry...

302 - Freeway

2010-07-25T11:45:00.000-05:00

I seem to have fallen under a freeway curse. I was going to pick Bob up from the airport on Friday... left work at 1 pm, should have taken about 20 minutes to get there, his flight was going to land at 1:30. First there is a funeral procession preventing me from getting to the freeway. No problem, I respect that... I can wait a couple of minutes. It took 10. This is a four lane road they've blocked for 10 minutes, my respect has a 3 minute time limit. It's 1:15 now, and his flight is actually early. Awesome! But also... crap!

My tank was low, so I stopped and got gas. And thank God I did...

I get on the freeway and traffic slows to 12 mph... 5 mph... 2 mph... soon we're going nowhere. We creep up a foot at a time for 40 minutes. I see a cop on a motorcycle go flying by us on the shoulder so I'm thinking eventually they'll clear the accident and we'll start to move, but Texas is so frickin' flat that I can't see anything but the ass of the truck in front of me. I decide to get out of the 'fast lane' and into the slow lane so I can get off the freeway at the next exit and take an alternate route (one that I hope no one else is thinking of). I put my signal on... a mistake, because it lets people know you want over... It took me another 45 minutes to get from one exit to the next. Our exits aren't that far apart... 1/2 a mile, maybe 3/4 of a mile? At the end I drove on the shoulder because the exit was within my sights and I was about to have a panic attack, took me a minute... had I sat in traffic it would have taken me 15. I also had to pee. It wasn't at that painful brace-your-feet-against-the-floorboard stage yet, but that feeling of being trapped always makes me freak out.

When we evacuated for Rita - the hurricane that didn't even hit our area - it took us 18 hours to get to Bonham, Texas... that's a 6-1/2 hour drive under normal circumstances. We sat on the road in gridlock for 18 hours. No way to get off the freeway, nowhere to go, no bathroom, no food except what you had in your car. We let the cats out to attempt to use the litterbox once, but they wouldn't go... they held it the whole time. My cat almost died... he had diabetes and got overheated because the A/C doesn't work so well when you're not moving. It took me almost a year not to freak out when I saw brake lights ahead of me. This brought it all back. I'm sure the people next to me thought I was crazy because I was yelling at God to get me off the fucking freeway... not in a minute... not soon... NOW.

So I finally got off the freeway and took another route. I stopped by a convenience store to use the facilities and get a soda for me and some water for Bob (neither of us had eaten lunch... was planning to do that after I got Bob... it is almost 3 pm at this point, and Bob has been sitting outside the airport for an hour so I was sure he was thirsty). I managed to choose the right direction on Beltway 8, and I was at the airport in 15 minutes.

On the way back, traffic was backed up on the southbound side, but I was able to get off the freeway before it became gridlock. No way was I going to go through that again.

Turns out, an 18-wheeler hopped the concrete divider and they shut the northbound lanes down completely, the southbound lanes were funneled down to one lane. It took me two hours to make the trip north. I have a 6-speed... my clutch foot was NOT happy. Luckily when I saw Bob, all the stress and frustration and panic melted away... When we went out later I made him drive... Well... made sounds like I forced him, he's a car guy, the fact that he got to drive Trixie actually made him pretty smiley. So it was a good weekend. Bittersweet, because it's over now and it'll be another week before I see him. I think I'm going to end up in Austin next weekend. The following weekend we're planning to go to a friend's family's picnic, so I'll be travelling a lot. Keeps things exciting. =)

Oh, and last night when I was on my way to a friend's house to watch movies, I was on the freeway and I saw the brake lights... I got off the freeway... I don't like the freeway much... hate it actually...

301 - Lame... a blog-rant about how my parents suck

2010-07-20T21:12:00.001-05:00

So I figured out why I am the queen of lame excuses. The "I don't feel well"s and the "I'm too tired"s and the "Maybe next time"s. It all comes from my parents.

I can't tell you how disappointed I am in them right now.

I gave them ample notice that we were going to the gun range, but they couldn't be bothered to pull their heads out of their asses and show up.

Saturday I call them to let them know we're headed to lunch and give them and ETA on the gun range. Dad says to let him know well ahead of time when we're headed that way. Didn't I just do that? I basically let him know, through simple math, that in about an hour, we were headed to the range.

Less than a minute later I get a phone call. Mom. And she's coming at me with THE PANIC. "Krit?!? I don't think we're gonna be able to make it to the gun range at 12:30... we're in Texas City... blah-blah Uncle Robert... blah-blah shoes... blah-blah (repeat with variations until you run out of breath)." I feel my butt clenching. Well, we're going to go ahead and be there at 1 (as planned), you just get there when you get there. "I can't hear you." I repeat myself. "I'm... J... I can't understand her... Here Krit... talk to your daddy." I repeat it to dad. He says okay. I bury my face in Bob's shoulder and whine. He says tells me it's okay... he'll get out of the way if he sees the gun heading in my mom's direction. Smart boy.

After lunch I call to tell them we're now on our way to a store to get hearing protection and we'll probably be at the gun range around 1:15... Cool right? They're running behind... we're running behind... Dad says, "Listen... uh... we're not going to make it this time... we just sat down to eat and they haven't brought our food to us yet, and I still have to go to the house, so we wouldn't be able to make it in time. But listen -- you guys maybe want to watch a movie later?"

No.

I was pissed. They bugged me and bugged me and bugged me to meet the asshole I dated a few years ago. A guy that even during our best moments I never liked as much as I like Bob (and he never treated me even 1/100th as well... well, most of you read the 'fuck you' letter already so you know). Here's Bob, actually willing to meet them, and they can't get their shit together. So I had a few thoughts on how they might have done better:

Suggestion 1: If you know you're meeting someone at 1 pm. Don't go way the hell out of the area to do your non-emergency shopping. And don't pretend it's an emergency when it isn't. They're shoes. In fact, maybe you could shop another day. Or here's a third possibility... go shopping after you go to the gun range. You bitch about other people being inconsiderate? Hello pot. Meet the frickin' kettle in the mirror.

Suggestion 2: If you're running behind, don't go to a sit-down restaurant... grab a fucking hamburger. You still get to eat, but it's quicker. It's kind of the considerate thing to do, since we made plans and all. You don't actually have OCD, so you can be a little flexible sometimes.

Suggestion 3: If you're deadset on running errands, stick the damn guns in the trunk... like we did.

Suggestion 4: If you're going to offer lame excuses, don't come back with a different lame excuse later on. It makes me irritable.

On Sunday I show them the target and ask if they want to guess what I was thinking about when I was shooting at it. Mom says, "I just couldn't do it, it's too hot outside and I just couldn't do it." Interesting. That wasn't your original excuse... soooooo maybe you intentionally lolligagged so you couldn't make it and you think I won't put that together... well I've done that before, so now that you mention it... I recognize it. Plus, it's one of your MO's, that and "I don't feel good." Apple don't fall far from the tree, and now I see it for what it is. Then she says, "And your daddy wanted to go, but he was afraid he would be the odd man out." Alrighty. He knows me. He knows Sue Beth. Rusty has never met a stranger. Bob is a great guy, one that he wants to meet. Aaaaaaaaand shooting's kind of a solo sport that you like doing and pester me all the time about. What. The. Hell. ?.

Maybe I'm being too hard on them. I don't know. Am I? I feel like they let me down, like they aren't taking this seriously. Worse, if Bob was supposed to have met up with us, and he offered up those same excuses, mom would take it as a slight and never, ever, ever forget it (I'm not kidding, she's still holding a grudge over a passing comment one of my friends made FIFTEEN YEARS AGO). On the other hand, I've met 90% of Bob's family now. Met his mom, his son, and a few cousins on Friday. (and by the way, they like me... squee!) His son is a cool kid. Came up and started telling me about the bearded dragon in the hallway and then showing us random facts in this book he got. Then he'd pop his head in from time to time just to see what was happening.

I told Bob I was going to rip my parent's a new one, and he said, "There's always next weekend." Kinda deflated my anger bubble... But I'm not feeling charitable toward them. They blew it, so I'm not going out of my way for their benefit. If Bob wants to push the issue I'll do it, but otherwise... (sorry Ms. A), fuck 'em.

I apologize if I'm a little wound up at the moment, my teeth hurt something fierce and it's making me very, very cranky. I almost took out half the drivers on the bypass on my way home because I wanted them to get the hell out of my damn way (according to my friend anyway). New tray today, so pretty much every tooth in my mouth hurts except for one canine and my wisdom teeth. I took a Motrin, but it hasn't quite dulled the pain... Not looking forward to taking them out tomorrow. It's always worst after I've slept in them the first night... feels like I'm about to rip some teeth out, and putting them back on feels pretty rotten too. I hope it's worth it when I'm done, cuz right now I'm not so sure...

300 - It speaks for itself

2010-07-17T15:50:00.000-05:00

Don't mess with me beyotches... I'll take you down!

I did alright with my .38. I really rocked it out with Bob's 9 mm though... that grouping near the bullseye is the 9. Woot! I want me one...

299 - The mania of nothing

2010-07-16T17:14:00.000-05:00

It's been a long time since I've gone on a real date... I'm actually a little nervous. Which is ridiculous. Because this isn't our first date, it's just that we're going to a nice restaurant... alone... so... But I took my shower and did my hair, slapped on my face and even accessorized. I never accessorize... what the hell is wrong with me??? I'm not even wearing sneakers... nope -- I have on real shoes.

Now I'm waiting. I don't know when he's coming to pick me up exactly. It's like waiting for my birthday party... the mania of nothing.

I bought cake balls for dessert. There's a local sweet shop around the corner, they claim to sell other stuff, but mostly they sell cake balls. Twenty-one flavors of cake balls. I like saying cake balls. I've never had them before, but they look like the best part of cake... a ball of cake surrounded by chocolate. Mmmm... I got red velvet, pretzel, chocolate, almond and strawberry. If Bob is lucky he might even get one.

Tomorrow a group of us are going to a rum distillery. Didn't realize there was one nearby, but there is. Then after lunch it's off to the gun range, where my dad, and maybe my mom, are going to join us. Have I told you my boy ain't scared-a-nuttin'? Can you imagine... meeting my dad for the first time, when my dad has a gun in his hand? Actually I think it's probably a great place for me to introduce them... they both love guns, it's like their 'thing', so I figure they'll be all happy and have lots to talk about. And I'll get to practice my skills. It's been a while since I've shot my gun and I'm probably rusty. I like to do it, but last time, at a certain point I started to freak out a little because of the flames that blast out from the cylinder when you fire... afraid it's going to explode in my hand or something, and it makes me nervous. Hopefully I can get past that and go back to enjoying it like I used to.

Anyhoo... lots of stuff going on, but not much of it that I want to blog about at the moment so.... I'm gonna go find something else to do... Hope everyone has a great weekend!

298 - Wordless Wednesday

2010-07-14T15:26:00.000-05:00

Except I can't not say something... (nice use of a double negative huh? next up - a triple!)

This is my neighbor. When I look out my window at work (admittedly, it's a nice perk) I have a pretty nice view... and this guy has been taunting me for the past couple of days. Yesterday I got him with my cell phone, running from me like I'm paparazzi... He's cute. Cuz he's not eating my house. If he were eating my house like he's chomping away at that pinecone I'd pop him between those adorable little eyes and eat him for dinner...

Puppies and rainbows!

Another perk is that we have to take pictures of things at work, so we have a nifty camera with a decent zoom. So today I GOT HIM. Muahahaha...

These are yesterday's cell phone photos. Maximum zoon. Have to say though, loving the clarity, and the sun hit the tree just right so the contrast is pretty cool.

Run squirrely!

The End.

297 - Don't Know What to do

2010-07-11T19:10:00.000-05:00

I've been on the go so much lately that it's weird to have... downtime... I didn't do a damn thing yesterday. Well, not outside of the house anyway. I did chores I'd been putting off. Exciting things like dusting, and vacuuming and changing the sheets. That killed about three hours. Oh and I finally cleared the refrigerator of party leftovers. After that I'm not really sure what I did...

Friday I went out to a local bar and watched a friend's band play. Found out it was my neighbor's birthday, and her boyfriend was working all night which left her at the house to celebrate alone. So I got my tab, after 20 excruciating minutes of asking for it... lesson learned, I'll pay as I go at the bar from now on.... and headed to her house with a bottle of wine. Home by 2 am. Very relaxing night, and I had fun... but I find that I miss Bob. A lot. More than I had expected I would, like a physical ache... I'm really, really glad that he didn't take the overseas job, because this distance is already too far. But I'm working within my situation.

Today I've been dealing with some crazy allergies... I feel unmotivated to do ANYTHING. Usually have lunch with mom and dad on Sundays so I don't plan anything, but they went out of town this weekend. So I have been sleeping off and on and I also made a pilgrimage to the grocery store since I haven't been in about 3-4 weeks (except for party supplies). I was miserable. My nose is runny... and then I went to grab a carton of milk, and it was torn open so milk splashed on my face and down the front of my shirt... Good times. I was a happy, happy camper... not only covered in milk but thinking it was probably germy milk that could make me sick if I got it in my mouth... which it did... just a drop... but we saw what happened to Charolotte in Sex and the City... Luckily I seem to have avoided that outcome. I'm sure my fellow shoppers thought I was super sexy with the milk all down the front of my shirt... looked like sweat so I was embarassed but trying not to give a shit because they're all strangers and they mean nothing to me anyway.

I have a friend staying with me for a few days. And Bob is going to try to come down sometime next week. So I think it's good that I got to be lazy for a couple of days, because the pace is about to pick up. I didn't think I'd like that, because I was all about the down time before, but I guess my habits change easily. Now downtime sucks.

God I hope this all made sense... my mind is so not functioning right now... I hate allergies... Hope everyone had a great weekend.

296 - Has it really been a week?

2010-07-09T12:20:00.000-05:00

I go away for a few days and when I come back I have more followers... how does that happen? I love it though!

Joan Jett was so much fun. We were pretty close to the stage, and she put on a really good show. She's such a tiny little thing, like a good stiff wind would probably knock her over. Can't be more than five feet tall. Sang all my favorite songs. I screamed my head off. It didn't happen, but when I screamed "WE LOVE YOU JOAN!" I'm gonna pretend she even blew me a kiss. Rowlett was a nice town with lots of water... me likey. What scared me is... I was the one with the sense of direction. When I'M the one you're trusting to get you around town... you are soooooooooooo in trouble... but I did good.

I bonded with my friend's nine year old. Maybe a little too well. I think Stacy was a little sorry she brought me because at one point she was dealing with two nine year olds, and one of them had had a margarita... It was a nice confidence booster because Bob has a nine year old son, and I'm nervous about meeting him. I don't have a lot of experience with kids, and I'm an only child. I usually do okay, but this one is kinda important, you know? That said, the kid loves Harry Potter and his daddy, so we have those two things in common (well, you know what I'm sayin'... I'm not tossing four letter words out there just yet... dangit now I want to change the sentence but it flows so well... buggar, I'm leaving it).

Sunday we made our way to Waco to see the Texas Ranger's Museum. That didn't really float my boat, BUT there was an amazing graveyard just outside that I drooled over. My camera phone irritated me... took this amazing pic of a squirrel sitting on the knot of a tree glaring at me and the phone ate it. If you want really amazing graveyard pics go see Flora Isadora's site (faeries today!), but here's couple of my faves... or at least the ones MY PHONE DIDN'T EAT.

Bob had one hell of a time getting to Austin and got in really, really late, so we basically hooked up Monday and went to this wonderful distillery about an hour outside Austin in Johnson City. He'd planned to go on some bourbon distillery tours when he was in the Kentucky area but got gypped out of them by circumstance, so I went online to see if there was one in Texas and shazam! It is so cool. Garrison Bros. Two guys run it. It's in this picturesque plot of land that I want for my own... God it was nice:

Hummingbird by the eave

And if you like bourbon, it was very tasty. They don't sell the bottles, but they give you a sample. You actually get to taste the mash, the white dog and the final product. I took a couple of sips and gave the rest to Bob... I can drink it and I can appreciate it, but he is the real connosieur.

Then I got to meet some of Bob's family, very nice people, very welcoming. Hung out with them for a couple of hours and he brought me home, all sunburnt and wind ravaged (convertible) but smiling. I'll be honest. I miss the crap out of him already. But it looks like he'll be staying stateside, and better yet, within a reasonable driving distance, so things are managing to work themselves out.

Yesterday I had my 'favorite' exam of the year (happy belated birthday to me) and there were some abnormalities... So for the next month I'm going back so she can keep an eye on things. Doc said not to worry about it. Can't help it. Mom had breast cancer... you say 'lumpy', I worry. I feel like I've been too proud of the girls and I'm being taken down a peg. But that's neither here nor there. It's only been a day and I need to calm the fuck down. I'm going out with friends tonight so that'll keep my mind busy. I'll be fine. I'm sure it's nothing.

Last, but certainly not least... Trixie is back in business. Still some smoke when I park her in the garage but she is like a new car and I'm driving like a lunatic. Bob has a roadster and sort of opened up a whole new sportscar driving reality for me. Downshifting is my new bestest friend... Trixie is certainly pleased and I'm having a blast. Got everything on my list of demands except that I only got one oil change out of it. Well... until Mazda corporate calls me... then we'll see... I'd like five. The manager needs to grow a pair though. I had to call them, which irked me. Then he tells me the service rep was supposed to call me with an update... Um no, a-hole... I asked to speak to the manager... that's you... YOU get to deal with pissed off people like me because this is YOUR service bay. I can't abide that crap. When they brought her around they left running, like I was just going to hop inside and be on my way... I told them to shut her down, the manager was gonna walk me around and show me what they'd done. Bwahahahaa... I really do have this cruel streak in me that I quite enjoy. I just kinda rein it in and only use it on people that deserve it.

OH! Not last! Karma... Almost forgot the karma... There was a lady at work that basically created an issue for me that was the final straw in my decision to step down from management a few months ago. Well... the weekly termination list came out yesterday and her name was at the top of the list. Karma baby. And I almost felt bad for her, except I heard there was some kind of investigation and it ended with security walking her ass out of the building. As Ludacris says (seriously Ms. A, you're going to want to avert your eyes), "Imma tell you one time -- don't fuck with me..." Sigh of contentment goes here X. The world is my oyster and I'm just a nut trying to... hmmm... well... you know what I mean. ;)

295 - I have been remiss

2010-07-02T12:13:00.000-05:00

I've had a lot going on. Stepping outside the box really keeps you busy!

So I guess first off... I'm seeing someone. Since we talk for several hours each night, I've been neglecting my blog... and... I'm not really sorry... soooo... sorry for not being sorry but I'm not sorry! LOL He's amaaaaaaaazing and I'm really happy about the way things are going. No one has ever treated me better, and I've never felt so in synch before. He's been in Iraq for the past several months and is slooooooooowly making his way home. But... I will get to see him on Sunday and I'm over the moon about that.

It almost feels too good to be true, but instead of looking at it that way and waiting for the other shoe to drop as I normally would, I'm taking it day by day and looking at it as an 'I can't believe how lucky I am' type of thing... It feels very comfortable to me, not uncertain or scary. I feel like we're pages from the same book, so I'm looking forward to seeing where it goes.

Enough mushy stuff. Stay out of my personal life, nosies... ;)

So... let's see, a friend and I are headed to Dallas on Saturday to see Joan Jett, then Sunday we'll travel to Waco to visit the Texas Ranger's Museum (not the baseball team, the police force) and then she's dropping me off at my... boyfriend's (?) house (sorry, it's a weird word...) and he's bringing me back home on Monday. So I have a full weekend ahead of me! I've been making good on trying to be more social...

Birthday party was awesome. Had about 30+ people at the house. And then there was a hit and run in front of my house, involving a friend's truck and two of my neighbor's cars. The policeman was a complete a-hole and kept trying to insinuate that my friend backed his truck into my neighbor's car, then... um... came back in my house and just left it there? Then a neighbor mentioned that another car rammed into my friend's truck THREE TIMES and sped off, pushing it into my neighbor's car and sideswiping the other neighbor's car. But they kept saying my friend's truck was in the middle of the street to begin with, and then it got rammed. Bullshit. I thought and thought about it and here's what happened:

My friend parked his truck across the street and down from my house. When the last people left my house at 2, his truck was parked where he left it, and he remained inside my house, talking to me and my friend Debra for the rest of the night. He lives about an hour or so away, so he came with the intention of staying the night and I made the guest bed for him. About 2:15 we heard a series of three engine revs and the screeching of brakes -- but I live next to the main drag so I hear crap like that all the time. 3:15 the cops knock on my door and ask him to step outside.

My friend has a standard. When he parks, he leaves it in neutral and engages the parking brake. If the parking brake wasn't fully functional (1996 lightweight truck) or wasn't fully engaged, the lunatic who hit him would have been able to push him into the street if his wheels were angled out. My neighbor, hearing the noise, looks out the window and YES my friend's truck is indeed in the middle of the street... now... then the lunatic revs his engine and pushes the truck again, repeats it once more and it's pushed into my neighbor's car, then squeezes between the vehicles and flees the scene.

I tried my theory on a cop and he said it sounded plausible except that there would have been more damage to my friend's car. Bullshit. In neutral there doesn't have to be a lot of force exerted to move a truck that size. So we're still ironing that out...

And I'm waiting for a call about my car... my Trixie... Took her to get an oil change last night and some a-hole spilled oil ALL OVER everything under the hood. No one bothered to tell me though. So I get in my car, I'm headed home and I smell something. I'm thinking the car in front of me is really stinking up the place, until I get to a stoplight and see that smoke is coming from under my hood. I figured maybe it was starting to overheat, because she was driving fine... well, there was a moment when I felt my heart drop to my toes because Trixie might have been on fire, but the smoke was light grey and not black so I decided that (probably) wasn't the case. My house was only 3-5 minutes further up the road so I rolled the windows down, turned the A/C off and cranked the heater to draw heat off the engine. Temp gauge was fine though...

Get home, park in the garage, all of a sudden there is smoke pouring in through my vents and my garage is smokey. That happened in under a minute. So I back out... in case she did catch on fire I didn't want to burn the house down, too. I was LIVID.

Popped the hood. Everything under there looked clean. Too clean. Wasn't nearly that clean when I took her in... Talked to (we'll call him Bob instead of boyfriend...) and he asked if the oil cap was on. I love guys who know things about cars... It was on, but I told him everything looked too clean, and a little greasy. Looked like someone took Armor All and wiped it down. He asked me to look at the belts and hoses, maybe they were frayed and that would explain the burning rubber smell. In the course of looking for those I noticed that there were some metal plates that had little beads of motor oil on them (see below). Think I found the problem....

Long story short, I got up this morning at 5:30... ask me how happy I am about that... and had her towed in. Rode in a tow truck so frickin' hot I melted. Waited at the dealership from 6:15 to 7:00 AM, killing mosquitos and getting rained on, until they opened. They said they'd get it cleaned up. I said, "You're gonna do a lot more than that." and slammed my list on the desk:

1. Clean up the oil. Do not burn it off. Clean it up.
2. Your dealership covers the cost of replacing the defective coolant sensor I requested to have replaced in November
3. Full tank of gas
4. Detail it like it's going out on the showroom floor (no fruity, flowery or spicy deodorizers)
5. Top off the fluids like they should have been in the first place (windshield wiper fluid was about 2/3 full)
6. Make sure nothing else was half-assed while in your service bay
7. Disciplinary action against anyone who was involved in attempting to cover up the spill
8. Mazda pays for all future oil changes
9. Loaner car

When I called to check on things (which I shouldn't have had to do... manager was supposed to call me but he apparently has no balls), they said they're doing everything on the list but they didn't mention items 7 or 8. We'll discuss 'em when I pick Trixie up this afternoon... They just don't know me yet...

So... pics of the catastrophe...

Right under the plastic reservoir, next to the black wire you can see oil.

Suspiciously clean and shiny... that's my rotary engine next to the yellow oil cap. There's a plastic cover that normally goes over it and that pulls air over the engine to help keep things cool.

My garage floor didn't used to have oil on it...

Hope everyone has a great weekend!

294 - Guess what?

2010-06-26T13:40:00.000-05:00

It's my birthday. At this point I am only three years away from the dreaded 4-0. It's surreal. I'm not freaked out by it (yet), it just doesn't seem like I should be this age... BTW, happy birthday to Laura!

I know I said I wasn't going to blog over the weekend, but I'm at that point in the day where the mania sets in... 5-1/2 hours to go and I've already cleaned the house, my clothes are on, my makeup and hair are done, most of the food is made. I even finished rating all 13,387 songs on my playlist, so the music is ready to go. Now I have cabin fever. My friend Debra is coming around 2 or 3 and we're going to go have some Italian food at an awesome restaurant that recently opened. That'll help. But I still have an hour or so to wait.

I hate waiting.

I try watching tv, and I can't sit still. I try to get on the computer, I keep surfing. I try to play the piano, I play too fast and my fingers trip all over themselves. In short -- manic. Can't find anything to satisfy. I've been like this ever since my first birthday party... it would be better if someone could hide the fact that there's a party from me, so I wouldn't be so antsy.

Got a nice surprise today. My best friend from the 8th grade through college is going to be in town and is going to be able to come and join in the fun tonight. She's awesome. Someone once said that she has a smile that lights up a room as soon as she walks in, and it's true. She's a good egg. I miss her. I miss having a best friend close by. My best friend now is my cousin, but she lives over 600 miles away... can't just call her up to hang out. Anyway, I KNEW sending out those 'no-way-in-hell-can-they-make-it-but-I'm-gonna-invite-them-anyway' invitations would pay off!

Sooooo... yeah... not much going on in my head at the moment that would amuse you, so I should go do something else... and then I'll do something else...

293 - Tar

2010-06-25T11:52:00.000-05:00

They're reroofing my building at work. Still working their way around site and repairing damage from Ike...

Let me just say... you never adjust to the smell of tar... It stinks. Plain and simple. And being on the top floor, right next to a window doesn't make it any more pleasant...

So just a few minutes ago the smell was overwhelming. I wanted to stop breathing rather than inhale that putrid stench any longer... it actually sort of burned my lungs a little.

Then, in the midst of it all, I looked up and saw my savior... a giant grey rainy looking cloud. Rain = no roofers. No roofers = no tar.

Unfortunately, I realized it probably wasn't a rain cloud after all. It was just an innocent white cloud that hovered over our building a little too long and turned grey from all the tar.

Buggar.

Hey, it was a really cool week on the blogosphere! First Missy Kimmy dropped by, and now Kate is back to blogging! I like those gals so I just wanted to throw that out there. Now if Kato will pop in we'll come full circle!

Tomorrow is my birthday (and Laura's... please keep your fingers crossed for her... she has the worst luck on her birthday), so I probably won't blog. I'll be busy doing party prep. I love throwing parties, but dang they wear me out... gotta put stuff away, gotta get the cat hair off the floor, gotta clean the guest bath, gotta make the guest bed, gotta make the food, gotta put together a playlist, gotta, gotta, gotta. But then... come party time... I get to relax and enjoy being with my friends. So it's worth it in the end... I think. ;P

292 - Random Facts Re: Moi

2010-06-23T22:52:00.000-05:00

Here are some random facts about me:

Mosquito sprayer trucks... terrify me. I don't know what it is about that sound, but I hear it, and I pretty much try to insinuate myself as deeply under the covers as possible and become inconspicuous. It's like I think they're alive... and have super sensitive hearing... because I try not to move... because moving makes sound. Even when you do it really slowly. Breathing also makes noise. So I sometimes stop doing that, too... just until they're out of range... I remember as a kid, playing outside in the summer months, and as night fell, the mosquito trucks would come and I'd have to skitter for the safety of the house. The smell... blech! If that happened to me today I don't know if I could move. I know. That's silly. It's completely ridiculous!... It's no less true.

I can watch Baby Boom, Girls Just Want to Have Fun, Look Who's Talking, and Maid to Order over and over and over again and not be bored by the fact that I've probably seen each of them upwards of 20 times. In fact, as I type this, Baby Boom is on cable, and I'm watching it. There's nothing more interesting. Bear? I'd DVR him. Baby Boom is on. Are they great cinema? No. But they're simple to watch and on some level they appeal to me. I love it when JC Wyatt moves to the country. I love the dancing in GJWTHF. I love the humor and the adorable kid in LWT... I'm not quite sure what I love so much about MTO... maybe it's the 'Schoop-Schoop' song. *shrug*

I wrap my bacon slices individually. I know I've revealed this before and it caused great controversy. *mean look* For me, it makes perfect sense. I'm a single girl... and despite how it may look -- I don't (often) eat whole packages of bacon. (by the way, I'm finally into the next size down! but the scale still taunts me) So I wrap a slice or two in aluminum foil and stick it in the freezer. If I want bacon, I grab what I need and the rest is safe as houses in the freezer.

If you thought the great bacon controversy was bad... I wash my hair in the kitchen sink. Go ahead. Scoff. I take a bath at night. If I washed my hair at night and slept on it... it would scare people. Hell, I've seen girls who can wear a ponytail all day and they're hair is stick straight when they take the rubber band out. Me? If I wear it for five minutes, my hair is bendy and uncooperative. Imagine 8 hours of my hair on a pillow! So, each morning, I lean my head over the kitchen sink and wash my hair. I even installed a faucet that sits up higher so I can do it more comfortably. That, and it makes washing lettuce a hell of a lot easier.

I type without looking at the keys. I'm doing it now. Sometimes I can talk and type at the same time. It freaks people out. When I really get going on a numberpad, people have actually come from across the room to watch. I don't know why it's so amazing, but it is. So I'm added it to my random facts. Don't like it? Write your own random facts! Pthbbb.

Um... I guess that's it for now. I'm random facted out... it's sleepy time. First thing this morning when I woke up, I promised myself I'd take a nap when I got home (yeah... it really started out as that kind of day) and that didn't happen, so I'm zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz... See you on the flip side!

291 - Random

2010-06-22T17:48:00.000-05:00

Today I was full of random thoughts:

1) If/when I ever have kids, I'm going to convince them that on their birthdays they should give me gifts and not the other way around. After all, I'm the one doing all the hard work. Now I know you're thinking, 'but that's what Mother's Day is for'... No. Don't think so. If you have two kids you still get only one MD -- how is that fair?

What?... They'll get their big day when Christmas rolls around...

2) Today was the longest day of the year. Unfortunately, the long part happened to me at work and not at home.

3) I was reading an article about how talking on a cellphone, even if you use a hands-free device, can impair your reaction time, and I found two things funny in the first five pages. If you read ~~boring~~ ~~droll~~ informational pamphlets the way I do, they can be quite entertaining:

Something about this doesn't add up:

"Cell phone use has grown dramatically over the past 15 years. In 1995, cell phone subscriptions covered only 13 percent of the U.S. population; by 2008, that had grown to 87 percent."

So I kinda don't know if I can trust the rest of the data in your report... (ironically, even though they're unrelated, 13+87=100...hmmm... is it meaningful?)

And, my brain is being stolen from, just like in Office Space. No wonder my memory sucks!

"Longer reaction time is an outcome of the brain switching focus. This impacts driving performance. The cost of switching could be a few tenths of a second per switch. When the brain switches repeatedly between tasks, these costs add up."

That is all.

290A - This cracked me up

2010-06-19T23:11:00.000-05:00

Thanks Jerry! That's a game I could get into, lol.

290 - I met Ms. A!

2010-06-19T18:13:00.000-05:00

I just got back from an early dinner with Ms. Anthropy. In case you ever had any doubts -- that is one awesome lady. And she's GORGEOUS! Just sayin'. Jealous much? You should be. Cuz you didn't have dinner with Ms. A, and I did. (have I rubbed it in enough?)

It's been an unusually social week for me. Trying to sort of break out of the box I've put myself in and get out and enjoy the world more. So I went out on Thursday (impromptu happy hour), and I went out on Friday (sort of a high school reunion, and then to see a friend's band), and again today (Ms. Anthropy! Did I mention?). Tonight is a movie night (at home on the couch). I'm pooped.

So in the process of enjoying myself last night, I came home and realized my new phone was no longer in my possession... not a good feeling. I don't have a belt clip for it, so I had it in my back pocket and it must have fallen out, or I laid it on the table and forgot about it. I was pretty panicked... I don't have a landline, so other than email, I have no other means of communication (and replacing it would not have been cheap). I searched the house like crazy, thinking maybe it fell under the couch... I even looked in the refrigerator. It's not like I normally put non-food items in there, but sometimes in movies people miraculously find what they're looking for in the fridge... or they find Zuul... I did grab some water out of it... so you never know... Anyway, I went back to the bar and miracle of miracles, it was there, it wasn't smashed all to hell, and it still works. Phew is not a strong enough word to describe my relief...

Let's see, earlier this week I did my first stint at jury duty. Always managed to dodge it in the past because I was a student, or I moved to another county (not specifically to get out of jury duty... but it was a perk). I got lucky again... Didn't get picked that day, and in our county you have to call in every night until they dismiss you... they didn't call any of us up Monday or Tuesday night, and by Wednesday night they dismissed everyone. Score. And I made $7. I even enjoyed the drive. The traffic was so good that I had to keep my eye on the speedometer or I would have been up to 90 in a heartbeat.

What sucked most was seeing that sign that said, "Hurricane Season is here. Are you prepared?" Waah.

Since it's been so long since I posted last, I'll just respond to the comments from my last post here (saves you a trip):

Sarah - One of the things I love about blogging is that it showed me people can relate to us a lot more than we think they can. I used to be timid about posting some of my thoughts, and then I realized sometimes it's a relief for people to know they're not the only ones that feel a certain way, or they're not the only one who has that fear. It really helped me to become more confident and feel less awkward about myself. So I love comments like yours, because it proves that point. We are rarely alone, there's usually someone who feels the same way. And thank you, the feeling is mutual, you are one cool chica!

ABAO - LOL, I wouldn't even sit and have Breakin' marathons with me! Once every three decades is plenty enough of that! But thank you for the encouragement.

Joe - Damn! I'm a catch! LOL I just see myself differently than others see me, and I feel sort of handicapped when it comes to relationships. Never dated much in high school or college. It's not that I didn't have the opportunity, I was either just too shy to let the guy know I was interested, or too picky. I tend to not bother with a guy unless I see potential in it. If things don't click on enough levels for me, I don't see the point.

Jimmy - I love stories like that. More than you know. It's hard to overcome the fear, but I'm doing my best. Right now I feel pretty good. I feel like I'm on the right path.

Indie-grrl - Thank you for the award and the kind words! It always feels good to hear nice things about the blog. =)

Jen - LOL, I will have to remember that breathing thing, sometimes I forget!

289 - Less thinking, more living...

2010-06-15T12:02:00.001-05:00

Somehow I got this idea in my head that everything in my life has to be sorted out before I can pursue the things I want in life. "If I lose 10 lbs...", "If I pay off that debt," "If I save this money," "If I move to a house with more land", "If I figure out where I want to be in life"... I realized that I'm feathering a nest for a future life. I realized that I don't think I can have this life until everything is perfect. I realized I'm not currently living the life I want.

I realized that's bullshit. The longer that kind of thinking continues, the further I'll be from that life. It's a vicious cycle.

I've spent years overanalyzing things... situations... people... I've wasted a lot of time. I've passed up opportunities I may never get again. I've missed some opportunities altogether, because I was too afraid to try or didn't trust my instincts.

Truth be told, I don't think I'm half as cool as other people think I am. Truth be told, I don't see what anyone else would see in me. Truth be told, I am not nearly as confident on the inside as I seem to be on the outside. Truth be told, my life is pretty boring and I feel like a fraud because I can boil 24 hours down to a 5 minute highlight, and most people think I'm interesting. I don't talk about heavy topics, I keep it light. I'm not as deep as people think I am. Not by half. I just know how to nod at the right time or ask the right question. I am semi-impressive because I know a whole lot of insignificant trivia... just enough to skate by, but not enough to be an expert.

I'm so afraid to fail. I'm also afraid not to try. I feel like I'm so close to something, and so far away.

I'm turning 37 in a couple of weeks. I'm ready to settle down. I don't even know where to begin. Well... I do, but that has to work itself out. I suck at relationships though. I don't know what people do all day, what they talk about, how they share a space, how much time do you spend together, how much time do you spend apart... none of it. I think about that stuff too much, maybe because I'm an only child and I've lived on my own for so long... I don't know how to fit other people into my life. I don't know how I did it when I was married, I don't know how I did it the one time I had a roommate. I just... argh!

In short, I'm freaking out. But this time I don't want to run away from it. I want to run towards it. I want to take the risk, because I know I can't lose. But it's out of my hands. I'm trying to stay positive, I'm trying to have faith... it's a battle... optimism is new to me. And I hate feeling neurotic... I'm normally a very even-keeled person, but uncertainty makes me anxious.

I know, I'm talking nonsense again. I'm getting it out of my system. Thank for allowing me that.

288 - Bwahahaha

2010-06-11T16:49:00.000-05:00

That's right Obama -- you go on and threaten to kick that ass... (don't stop midstream, there's more...)

And on a serious note, this is more space shuttle stuff. Time lapse photography, gotta love it!

287B - Wahoo!

2010-06-10T17:48:00.000-05:00

Got my HTC Incredible Droid phone this afternoon! Was originally bummed that I was paying $149.99 for a phone, but I decided to treat myself this time around and get the state-of-the-art-cool-kids phone. My friend having access to the internet in Florida convinced me of the value of a smartphone, plus this phone is Skype capable, so if I want to talk to people in far away lands, I can do that for free. And I can make my own ringtones. I think. I don't like paying extra for a data plan, but I'm giving in...

So anyway... I was excited, but still bummed about the $150. Somehow though, it ended up costing me $130.49. Not sure how, but I don't mind.

Fast forward to June 8. I received a flyer in the mail, and it quoted a price for the HTC that was $50 less than I paid. I called customer service and they didn't hassle me, they just said that when I received my phone, call back and they would credit my account with $50. Cool. Cost of phone down to $80.49. Then he asked if I wanted to renew for two years... thought that's what I was doing... because there's a $39.99 credit for that (one month's bill). Awesome. Cost of phone now down to $40.50.

Then when I call today, to get my credit, the guy told me there is a $100 gift card rebate, but he tried to convince me that I'd already gotten my $50 rebate. Was still happy, I made $9.50. But I got to thinking, and I think he saw the monthly bill credit and thought that was my 'private sale' credit. So when I submit my rebate, and straighten out the $50 credit... I got my new state-of-the-art-cool-kid phone, and I made $59.50.

Me likey my semi-charmed kind of life. Maybe they know that, in only 16 days, it's my birthday. ;p

287 - Finding the humor in everything

2010-06-10T11:14:00.000-05:00

Walked by the television and they were discussing heavy flooding in central Texas. Not funny.

Then they mentioned that 'all but one section of Schlitterbahn is closed due to the flooding.' Funny.

Mom -- "Hey honey... it's flooding out... wanna take the kids to Schlitterbahn and splash around in the water?"

Dad -- "Nope... not such a good idea... it's likely to be crowded today since all but one section is closed."

Mom (scowling) -- "Okay, I'll put the boat back in the garage... sorry kids, your father just doesn't want to make the effort..."

I mean seriously... I don't know about you guys, but if it's flooding out, I don't really plan on leaving the house unless I have to make a run for it. Schlitterbahn? Not high on my list of priorities...

286 - The Amazing Kreskin

2010-06-08T21:04:00.001-05:00

That's me.

Today I saw the orthodontist and got a new tray (henceforth referred to as "tray 2"). You know there's a story...

Someone should tell him that I don't have a sense of humor when it comes to my wisdom teeth. I asked if I should be concerned that neither of the top trays covered my wisdom teeth. He waves me off and says, "Not at all, we're not concerned about those... if they become a problem we'll just pull them!" And he chuckles.

I said, "The hell you will!" A) He doesn't pull teeth, he's an orthodontist. B) NO ONE pulls my wisdom teeth.

No.

One.

Spurred on my outburst, he continues his maniacal laughter. He, mistakenly, thought I was joking.

I left the office, having an internal debate as to whether he was serious or just pulling my leg. Does this guy even have a sense of humor? I don't know... But it stuck in my craw... I began to doubt that he was kidding. He'd better be kidding... because I specifically told him my wisdom teeth weren't coming out before we ever took impressions. So they'd better be part of the treatment plan, or the plan is going to be revised.

So my teeth are a little sore at the moment. The one that hurt most the last time is the one that hurts again this time... taking my tray out feels like I'm going to rip it out by the root. So I'm really enjoying that... And they're concentrating on my molars this time... feels like I have a spring loaded bar pushing against them. Guess they're moving them to make more room for my front teeth to spread out. ~~Satan~~... ~~The Sadist~~... The ortho said it may take more than 3 weeks for this tray to do its job because it's a lot more ambitious than the first one was. That's fine.

It's how they get you. The first time doesn't feel too bad... and you get suckered in. Maybe next time will feel better. And then you start to crave the pain...

So anyhoo, my birthday is in 18 days. The more the tray loosens up, the better my mouth feels... the better my mouth feels... the more I can enjoy my birthday (which, again, is in 18 days... in case you missed it...).

Enough of that. My teeth hurt and I get cranky when I think about my wisdom teeth.

So here's a nice factoid: Did you know that I have the ability to control the minds of those around me?

I do. *smugness*

This afternoon I decided that since my teeth hurt, I needed something fairly easy to masticate. Yes -- I planned to go home and masticate. I masticate at work, hell -- I start the day with a little mastication. Anyhoo. I decided on ice cream. Sure I could have gone for soup... or even mashed potatoes... but ice cream has calcium and calcium is good for teeth. Don't worry -- I stopped by the salad bar beforehand.

That said, I didn't get just any ice cream. No sir. I got Marble Slab ice cream. An ice cream so delectable that, upon sampling it's creamy goodness, my friend Brian, who lives far, far away, asked if I could mail it to him at some point. They were here a week and we went twice. If we'd gone earlier in the week we probably would have gone every day. Rum with chocolate chips mixed in, in a chocolate waffle bowl -- that's all I'm sayin'.

So I'm waiting in line and I look at the guy in front of me. "Sweet Cream," I think to myself. "This guy looks like he's totally into Sweet Cream."

So, of course he ordered Chocolate Swiss.

Hmph. What does he know? He's wrong! My mind is screaming out, "Nooooo! Sweet Cream, ya moron!"

The guy behind the counter asks if he wants mix-ins. Of course he wants mix-ins... everyone wants mix-ins... I'm feeling a little disappointed. But I should never doubt myself. After all -- I'm almost always right...

So then it happened... my influence finally took control of this meat puppet... He said, "I'm sorry... can I change my order?... I'd like Sweet Cream instead."

YES!.... I knew he was a Sweet Cream kind of guy...

Soon I shall take over the world... Narf!

285 - LMAO

2010-06-06T12:35:00.000-05:00

This is (mostly) for the ladies... this made me laugh my ass off... I can't believe she did it on camera, but I admire her for her candor! We could hang out.

283 - Free Software and Camera from Office Depot & A Talented Kid

2010-06-01T20:46:00.000-05:00

If you're interested check out the deal here. I did it a slightly different way. If you go to EVReward.com there are cameras you get for free after $75 in purchases rather than $100. And I used Bing to get 7% cash back rather than 2%. Good deal!

Also, I'm a little late to the party, but oh my GOD is this kid talented! The emotion in his voice is amazing. I would seriously buy a record if he puts one out.

I know it's silly to compare him to Robert Pattinson... but if you've heard Let Me Sign... it's amazing. Don't scoff. Part of it is seeing the scene in Twilight that it's a part of, but the emotion in the song is just... ahhhh... So anyway, this kid's voice gets to me. That's all I'm trying to say.

283 - Hot as Hades

2010-06-01T16:45:00.000-05:00

I hate summertime. I know people who look forward to it (I call them 'the crazy people') but I don't. The thermometer in my car has been registering triple digits for a couple of weeks now. Temperatures should be no higher than two digits in length and not exceed 82. Period. I think if I put something on the grill, and didn't even light a fire under it, it would cook anyway. Because it's hot. I can literally feel my skin burning if I open my sunroof. It's not a good feeling.

Just so we're clear. It's hot.

Since we're talking about hell. I've figured something out:

This is hell. We're already here. We've all been very, very bad, and we have been put in this place to redeem ourselves. If we learn our lessons and make our atonements, we may leave this place and move up a level, or if we don't... further down we go... until we share a suite with Hitler.

That's my theory. Otherwise, life wouldn't be so frickin' hard for everyone!

Just sayin'.

282 - The 7th Sense

2010-05-31T19:37:00.000-05:00

A sense of accomplishment!

I accomplished pretty much everything I set out to do this weekend, and it was a pret-ty long list. Most important on the list was to revive my weekly walks with a friend, I'm determined to stop being such a hermit. We're both busier than we used to be, so it's just one day, but it's good to get out of the house and have girl talk and exercise all at the same time. I'm still going to exercise the rest of the week, but it's nice to switch things up.

I didn't do anything 'exciting' this weekend. I even passed up a boat ride. I am just now getting rid of the sunburn from Florida and I've been concerned about the number of burns I've gotten lately... but honestly, the boat was going to be full too... and I like a smaller crowd on boats. I'm a simple gal I guess. At home I can have a house full and be happy, because I love to entertain, but in a boat, space is limited. But... I did have dinner with a friend, and this afternoon I did my walk. I even chatted with a few people online. So I feel like I was social enough. Summer is coming and I know that means more things going on. Or it usually does.

In July I'm taking a roadtrip to Dallas to see Joan Jett! Yes THE JOAN JETT! I love Joan Jett. I Love Rock and Roll was the first album I ever bought -- and it was actually an album. I was even a member of her fan club. Guess I still am, I never cancelled. ;p Going with a couple of friends from high school... or actually one is my best friend from junior high. I try to keep my friendships alive if I can, and I'm lucky to have several long-term friendships. I think it's cool. After all, my best friend is my cousin, and we've known each other all our lives. That's as good as it gets.

Just came back from the garden... I have LOADS of tomatoes. Kristy is a happy girl. I've had tomatoes with every meal for the last two weeks. Slice them in half and grind some salt over them... YUM. That's all it takes, nothing better than a vine-ripened tomato... Oh lordy. I need a moment... The rest of the garden is a bit of a disappointment. I don't even look at the strawberry plant anymore... The lettuce was doing pretty well, then it started to bolt (fancy gardening term for 'going to seed') so I cut it back and I'm waiting to see if it leafs out again. I still have some lettuce in the fridge though, so I call it a success. I wish I had more land... I don't have enough room to have a proper garden. I think that blackberry I planted has sprouted. Or maybe it's a weed. It's so hard to tell at first...

Hope everyone had a great weekend!

281 - Eh.

2010-05-30T22:50:00.000-05:00

Haven't been posting as much lately. Sort of just been feeling... blah. And pensive. Lots of stuff on my mind... life stuff. Worries. Hopes. Fears. Mostly hope. All that adult shit. I'm not going to get into the details. I know that sounds cryptic, but don't worry, it's potentially a good thing, nothing dire. I just have to stay positive and have faith, which... isn't easy for me... but anyway. (sorry, saying all that is without actually saying anything is a little like telling a joke and forgetting the punchline, isn't it?)

Thyroid tests came back normal. That may be playing a role in how I'm feeling too. I'm very frustrated about it. I'm not a hypochondriac but I feel like one when it comes to my thyroid, because it's always in the normal range. They even read me the numbers and ranges. So now I guess I can only come to the conclusion that it's something I'm doing wrong. Honestly, I should go to bed earlier. I could eat better. But holy hell, even if I changed nothing except that I exercised, you'd think I would still come out ahead. Enough of that, I'm getting irritated.

Watched The Road today. Debated strongly about whether I wanted to do that or not, because I'd already read the book. I have to say, it was very true to the book. Bleak. Gloomy. Hopeless. Didn't help my mood any.

You all know by now that pretty much everything makes me think... so what I thought as I experienced this story for a second time is that... I'm screwed. In a situation like that, I'd be paralyzed by fear, but unable to give up. Can you imagine what kind of life that would be??? I don't know what the hell kind of Apocalypse they were experiencing that everything was burning for over nine years, but whatever it was... it was not good. The people in that book were not good. I know that when it comes down to brass tacks, people would revert to more animalistic behavior, but these people went far beyond even that. It was disturbing. It played on one of my fears, cannibalism. And I realized it's why I don't like zombies. It's not just that they're mindless eating machines, intent on only one goal, it's that they used to be one of us. Yeah... okay... they're not real... but they still freak me out!

Yesterday I watched Valentine's Day. Eh. Didn't make much of an impression on me. Have to say that I didn't expect that it would. Any time I've ever seen a movie with that many household names in it, it has failed to impress. I don't know why I never learn. Well... I do... it was free. For that matter, so was The Road. All it cost me was my time, and a little of my happiness! ;p

Hope everyone is enjoying their weekend, but more than that, I hope everyone remembers what Monday is all about. Memorial Day is a little like Christmas in that people love the crap out of a holiday, but they kind of forget what it's really all about. So if you know a veteran, make sure you tell them that you appreciate them, and also keep the families of those who have lost loved ones, or have loved ones far from home, in your prayers. We take a lot for granted... we don't have to do the dirty work, but we sure appreciate the freedoms we have.

280 - Eenie Meenie Minee Moe

2010-05-26T19:47:00.000-05:00

Know what? If you had ever told me, "Kristy... you've got to watch this show, it's called River Monsters -- you're gonna love it!" I would have told you to take a flying leap. I don't give a fig about a fishing show.
Okay, not really. But I would have scoffed. After you left. Because I'm somewhat passive-aggressive and conflict makes me nervous. I know. I'm a mess. A hot mess.

Know what else? It's really very interesting. And it's not really about fishing. I'm hooked (ha! a fishing pun!). It's on my DVR To Do list now. I even deleted something off my DVR list to make it so. That's what I get for being closed-minded and assuming I can watch it while I try to fall asleep because it won't be the least bit interesting.

So... ummm... why didn't anyone tell me??? And HELLO, why didn't anyone tell me that Bear has another show? Worst Case Scenario. Also on my DVR. Where I'm going to find time to watch all this crap and still have a social life is beyond me.

I'll miss my friends...

Hmmm... ummm... let's see-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eee-eh... (too much Gaga... can I just go on and admit that I'm an addict so I can start to get well again?)... I went to the doc yesterday. She ordered some tests... thyroid... T3... T4... CBC. Nursey said I can call on Friday to see if the results are back. If you hear a scream you'll know they were normal. However, if you suddenly hear happy music, assume I'm dancing my way to the pharmacy and some size 9 jeans. All the doo-dah day baby!

That aside, I got back on the treadmill yesterday. After a 3 week haitus I am exercising again. Damn doctor scale claims I weigh 2 lbs more than my now-more-appreciated home scale. So I'm trying the Couch to 5k plan. Wasn't so bad. I want to run, I just hate doing it. That kind of paradox happens to me a lot more than you'd think. And hey -- I'm actually in better cardiovascular shape than I thought. Tonight I did Gilad. *giggle* No Arthur on today's show though... sigh... Will do the treadmill again tomorrow, and so on. If nothing else maybe I can at least maintain my friggin' weight until I can afford lipo.

And here's some NASA humor for you, because I know you only love me because I work for NASA. ;) As most of you may know, when astronauts urinate (outside of the diapers), that urine is then recycled into drinking water. I know. Kinda gross when you think about it. So don't think about it. Especially if you're taking a sip from the drinking fountains at work... cuz it may or may not be the same thing... they are found just outside the restrooms... that's all I'm sayin'... you draw your own conclusions. So this video is based on the research that led up to that technology:

Yep. Ew.

To take your minds off that, consider this: Running through the sprinkler is not only fun... mosquitos don't seem to like it much!

279 - Dio Mio

2010-05-25T17:48:00.000-05:00

Have you ever known anyone so uber talented that it blows your mind?

Besides me?

I kid.

Welp, the keyboard player in this clip is one of my best friends. I've known him for... God... a long time... seventeen years? Can it be? Mike is an amazing musician. Unbelievably talented. I asked him to play the wedding march at my wedding? He wrote a song instead. Said he didn't want me to walk down the aisle to a funeral dirge. It was a pretty, magical sounding song. His stuff is usually jazzy, but he knows of my Danny Elfman obsession, so he made the notes sound twinkly just for me. =)

Anyhoo. As some of you may know, Ronnie James Dio passed away recently (I think he was at MD Anderson Cancer Center in Houston), so this is a tribute band that came together to honor a rock icon. For those of you who don't know Dio, he was in Black Sabbath for a while after Ozzy moved on, but he also had a solo career of his own. He's also responsible for giving us the 'devil horns' hand gesture. He's Italian, and it means something entirely different, but much like Rob Halford's S&M leather fetish getups (Judas Priest), it quickly became a part of heavy metal culture.

The lead singer in the tribute band does a fair imitation of his voice, but here is a clip of Dio performing Holy Diver live. It's one of the songs he is best known for. Probably the only song more well known than Holy Diver is Rainbow in the Dark. I was lucky enough to have seen him play a small club several years ago. Amazing voice... almost operatic.

RIP Dio. Sorry I was late.

278 - I know what you're thinking...

2010-05-22T22:13:00.001-05:00

I know what you're thinking. Because I thought the exact same thing.

What a fine specimen, except for that weird wart-like nodule.

But otherwise... what a perfect, stubby, flesh-colored... fire hydrant chew toy.

Named Zoink!

Which rhymes with boink.

You may also be thinking, 'Kristy... what the fuck are you doing at home on a Saturday night?'

Well, the answer to that is... I slept through the bbq I had intended to go to. I was in pain. I took medication. I slept. The party went on without me.

Sigh.

They had 20 lbs of butt, and I missed out. Paige's butt is tasty, so I'm bummed. Though in all honesty... eating meat can be kind of painful. Did I forget to mention? I got my braces on Tuesday afternoon?

Hey -- I got my braces on Tuesday afternoon.

Boy do my teeth look crooked. And my lips are dry.

Feels like I have plastic vampire teeth in my mouth. And sibilant esses. Lots of semi-sibilant esses. For the first time in a long time, I have shit the sheets (I slit the sheet, the sheet I slit, and on the slitted sheet I sit).

My orthodontist, I have come to realize, is a sadist. He doesn't have any regard for the word 'ow' or any muffled variant thereof. He actually came at me with a drimmel this time. He shaved a thin layer of enamel off one of my teeth. In what alternate universe does that sound like a good idea? I asked if it was going to hurt and he said, "it shouldn't."

Shouldn't? Seriously? That's not a 'no'!

Then he followed that up with a raspy piece of dental floss, which wouldn't have been painful except that he was pushing my lower lip into my canines as he 'flossed'. I almost grabbed him by the balls to get him to stop since 'ow' didn't seem to work, but I restrained myself.

This time.

So I'm adjusting to the braces. They're not so bad, but they are sometimes painful, like tonight. One of my teeth has already moved around. Twice. I say twice because after two days, it began to bump against one of my top teeth. Today it didn't. I like today better than yesterday.

Primarily, the focus of this tray seems to be on my front teeth. Especially the top one that is crossed under, and the two bottom ones next to the canines. I don't feel it much in my molars and wisdom teeth except when I eat.

As I suspected, anytime I take the braces off means that my teeth, formerly having pressure applied to them, are now free balling without any kind of support. Trying to bite into that piece of pizza the other night was a really bad idea. I see fewer hamburgers, sandwiches and pizzas in my future. In fact, to further add to the sadistic nature of these braces, I may end up eating healthier food just for comfort's sake: yogurt and fruit for breakfast instead of White Cheddar Cheezits... drinking water instead of soda (unless my braces are out, otherwise it will collect in there and rot my damn teeth)... smoothies and/or soups... apple sauce... cottage cheese...

Sigh. My apologies Dr. Susie, but I don't like visitng practioners of the dental arts. They're big meanies!

And eating is also a pain in the ass because I have to take my braces off to eat. Then I brush my teeth and put them back on, which is when they usually hurt most. But I can honestly say that I am taking better care of my teeth now than I ever have before. I brush them after every meal as I should have been doing all along. And I brush my braces, too.

Oh, and I can't bite my fingernails anymore.

That's bugging the crap out of me.

Hey -- be a pal and bite my fingernails for me, will you?

Also, Monday I am getting my thyroid checked. I'm tired of not being able to lose weight, I'm tired of being tired, I'm tired of not being able to remember things. My temperature is 97.9, my heart rate is 52 bpm, my nails are brittle, thyroid conditions run in my family, and even my knee pain could be related to a thyroid condition. Plus I'm almost 37, so I'm approaching that age... If the damn tests don't show anything, I'm going to ask to see an endocrinologist.

So there. You're caught up now.

277 - 3... 2... 1... Liftoff!

2010-05-21T19:44:00.000-05:00

Confound it but this was a difficult video to load! More difficult than it should have to be. Thank you Greg for suggesting that I upload it to YouTube instead of Blogger... that worked nicely. Maybe in a couple of years I'll get the hang of this 20th century technology... (yes, I know we're in the 21st century now... it was a joke... honestly... don't you people know me at all???)

Sooooooooo... this is the video footage I took of the shuttle launch. Would've posted it last night but I was having 'issues'.

There's 1:57 of prelaunch where I was trying to get some of the preamble, but the microphone mostly picked up people chattering around me (and wind). Seemed like it took FOREVER for the launch to actually happen, but then suddenly we were counting down and it came and went so quickly. I was primarily looking up at the sky, but I did periodically check the screen to make sure I was still filming the shuttle. I filmed until I could no longer see the shuttle with my (naked) eyes. Once the external tanks separate from the shuttle it gets harder to see. Just a small dot really.

I know you've all (probably) seen launches on TV before, but it was amazing to see one live... I cried a little. It's a pretty awesome sight. It gave me a sense that what I do sort of contributes to the process. And I was just in awe of the whole thing. It's a massive undertaking to launch a shuttle don't-cha-know.

I don't know if you can tell on the video, but the sound of the shuttle didn't actually reach us until about 45 seconds or so after we first saw signs of launch. We start screaming again, then the roar sort of overpowers our voices and you hear a popcorn-type sound. It wasn't overly loud, but it was definitely a wall of sound, and it does kind of drown everything else out for a bit.

Seems surreal that we shoot people into space. Started thinking that as excited as we were... the astronauts themselves must have been exponentially more excited. And terrified. How could you not be? So many things could go wrong... Have to admit, that crossed my mind, and I guess it's part of the emotion of a launch -- hoping it won't be a tragedy. A small part, but significant nonetheless. And luckily for all of us, it was perfect. A smashing success. I wonder what percentage of launches actually go up on time? We really lucked out.

And here's my random thought... We put the astronauts in quarantine for six weeks prior to launch because we don't want them to get sick. Then... on the day of the launch... we have people suit them up... people who haven't been quarantined... people who aren't wearing masks... people who get right in their faces... with six weeks of potentially new germs... that they haven't developed an immunity to... WHAT THE HELL??? Who came up with THAT system? *shaking my head*

If you want to just start watching at the countdown, that's at 1:58. The wall of sound hits at about 2:47. Confirmation of separation of external tanks is just before I stopped filming. Ignore any of my silly comments. I'm a dork. If that surprises you, you must be new to this blog... ;p

And finally, here is a pictoral that my beyond-wonderful friend Sandy sent me, about what it takes to launch a shuttle. Happens to feature STS-132. Very cool.

One last random thing. As I was walking out the door to start my weekend, my officemate was on the phone. I couldn't help but giggle when I heard him ask the following question: "Is it a nice rack?" Bwahahaha... It doesn't matter that I know he was talking about computer racks... I'll never grow up. NEVER!

276 - Back down to Earth

2010-05-18T21:03:00.000-05:00

Tried to get my video of the launch to load but I got an error... I'll try again tomorrow. In the meantime, here are some random pics from the vacation. LAUNCH WAS AWESOME!!!

Shuttle through a telescope

Shuttle at the closest zoom I have on my camera

Sunrise

Sunrise with birds

Fucked up sunburn
Captain Obvious

Astronaut Porn

A1A - BEACHFRONT AVENUE!!!

I give up. I've been trying to straighten this shit out for a few hours now... ARGH!

275 - Holy crap

2010-05-12T20:26:00.002-05:00

Holy crap. We got a causeway pass! That means I'm six miles from the launch! AEEEEEE!

See you on the flip side!

274 - My new obsession

2010-05-11T20:15:00.000-05:00

Well... maybe not new...

Saw the most gorgeous thing the other day. Nope, not the butterfly.

Hello gorgeous.

Ignore that it looks like that beautiful tomato threw up all over the place. Focus, if you will, on the wonderful chocolatey looking tomato (hey Robyn - a chocolatey tomato!). Admire the bold, rich color. The shiny, tempting flesh. The swollen, juicy... damn, I getting turned on.

But that's not enough for me. I want more. I'm an ever-so-greedy tomato consumer. And now that I know tomatoes come in all sorts of colors and flavors... I hunted down The Black Krim. Even the name is cool, yes? It's Russian. Hello comrade.

Is it pretty? Da. It is pretty. Look at that dark, rich, lycopene filled goodness. And they say it provides its own salty flavor. Mmmmm... bring it.

If that weren't enough, it just kept getting deeper and darker. Allow me to introduce you to the Chocolate-Cherry tomato.

Holy. Cow. I want it.

So thanks to The Reliant Self (see sidebar), I found some great heirloom seed sellers on eBay. And you know what? I had a $25 gift certificate. I got tons of seeds for $1.79. That was the total cost of shipping, for around 2,000 seeds. No matter how many seeds you buy they only charge $1.79 shipping. A zillion seeds? $1.79. Not bad. And they're heirloom seeds that haven't been genetically modified (non-GMO), so I can harvest my own seeds and continue to plant year after year after year... I got purple carrots, white radishes, green clovers and yellow moons (just checking to see if you're paying attention... but up until the green clover part, I was serious). Hell, I went ape shit and bought a little bit of everything.

My tomatoes are prolific this year. I ate my first tomato on Sunday. A small teardrop shaped yellow heirloom variety. And I have a whole cluster that is just about ready to ripen. My orangey-striped tomatoes have also started to show some color. All in all, I estimate that I have about... oh... 40-60 little tomatoes out there. And tons of blooms. They say tomatoes grow a tad better when you talk to them, so I've been stroking their egos... 'you're so pretty'... 'look at how many blooms you have'... 'my, how tall you've gotten!' It seems to be working. I also have two jalapeno blooms and one almost-ripe strawberry. I should probably pick it now before THE THING gets to it. It killed my turnip. Peas are going nowhere fast. Herbs are great. Lettuce is fine. Life is good.

So T minus two days until I leave for Florida! Launch on Friday. Busy, busy, busy... still haven't finished packing, am panicking a little... usually packed a week ahead of time... ARGH! So forgive me any typos or grammatical errors... I am speed blogging tonight. I don't know if I'll blog again until I get back. So if I don't, good afternoon, good evening and good night!

273 - Monkey Minute

2010-05-10T22:33:00.000-05:00

To see what the Monkey Minute is all about, go to Ian's blog and join the cause.

1 - How old do you act?

It depends on the time of day. Most of the time... about 12'ish.

2 - As far back as you can remember, what did you want to be when you grew up?

Unfortunately I've never known. I still don't know. I dabble at so many things and specialize in none.

3 - If you were to write a book based on your life, what would the title be?

This Train of Thought has been Derailed, catchy eh?

4 - What's something that you do that's considered "childish" by most?

Um... I make stupid jokes all the time?

5 - The last question isn't a question. Write a story of a time of when you or someone you know overcame great adversity.

Have been lucky enough not to have this experience. Unfortunately most people I know haven't overcome it, they still struggle. But on the blogosphere I know Lisa Marie and Kato have both impressed the hell out of me with the way they've turned their lives around. They're very inspiring.

272A - PRETTY!

2010-05-09T18:34:00.005-05:00

I know I just posted, but I went out to water the garden and I saw this beauty flying around... Figured in the time it took me to get my camera, it might fly away, but it didn't... I've never seen a black and blue butterfly before. (and if it's a giant plague carrying moth that eats people -- don't ruin it for me, I think it's beautiful)

By the way, I'm such a dork that I video'd it

How cool is THAT????

P.S. I'm too curious for my own good. It's a female black swallowtail. And it IS a butterfly.

272 - It didn't end there...

2010-05-09T18:14:00.001-05:00

Soooooo... remembered to take the steak out of the refrigerator... cleaned the grill... made the herb mix for the dipping sauce... got the fire started... preheated the oven... everything's ready to go. Mom and dad come over and THE PANIC follows them through the door. It's palpable. No hi, hello, how are you? Just, "I need a pan." I clench.

Then all hell breaks loose...

Mom -- J? Where's the bag with the bread in it?

Dad -- I don't B... wherever you put it.

Mom -- (giving him THE LOOK) I gave it to you to bring. Well if you didn't bring it in, it has to be in the car. Did you check the car?

Dad -- I brought in everything that was in the car.

Mom -- (giving him THE LOOK x 2) Well then it's at the house... you're going to have to go get it.

Dad -- I'll be back.

Know what happens in the horror movies when people say they'll be right back? They don't come back. Dad didn't come back for almost half a frickin' hour. In the meantime, the aunt and uncle have arrived. I give them THE TOUR, then I put the steaks on. There's a nice satisfying sizzle, laying aluminum foil over the grate to get it really hot until it's time to put the steaks on worked! Yippee! The dance of joy was performed internally.

Dad calls. He can't find THE BAG. This doesn't go over well with mom. THE PANIC is intensifying. I refuse to get sucked into it. A trip to the store is not out of the question. The steaks are almost done. The potatoes are almost done. Dad is still out there somewhere.

Mom asks me if I stirred the mushrooms. I have been out at the grill, the mushrooms were her idea, she cut them up, she put them into the pan, she's been IN CHARGE of the mushrooms. "Well they need to be stirred every once in a while." I point out that they were here responsibility. She asks when they became her responsibility. I relate the conversation that started with, "I thought I'd fry up some mushrooms, is that okay?" I win an argument. This day is marked in history... Mother's Day 2010, Kristy wins argument, not by admission, but by default, because there was no further arguing.

Score.

Mom steps on Daphne. Equal parts Daphne's fault and mom's... Daphne just plops down, and tends to plop down on the area rug which mostly closely resembles her fur (similarly, Gracie tends to plop down on the white tile which most closely resembles her coloring... I think they're trying to kill me... remember the copperheads?). Daphne is used to me avoiding her (well... stepping on her). Mom doesn't look, she's used to cats that get out of her way. Plus, ever since her cataract surgery, she's had diplopia, so she sees two images sometimes. In any case, Daphne didn't like being stepped on, but she's a very forgiving kitty, and they were buddies again in no time.

Dad returns. Emptyhanded. Mom now realizes she left the lettuce at home. We can't have salad without lettuce. Now they are both gone. The steaks are done.

I get another CALL. They can't find the lettuce. We won't be having salad. Okay. Frankly we always make too much food so this is fine with me. I decide to pour the olives into the tomatoes and make that the salad.

They find THE BAG. In the trash. They bring it. Now I must slice the avocados, because that is my ASSIGNED JOB. Whenever there are avocados to be sliced, I slice them. And they totally missed out on my skillz. I cut them in half, twisted them open, chopped the knife into the seed and twisted it out just like they do on tv, then I scooped out the flesh with a spoon and sliced them up. No one saw me. It's like it never happened. I'm so sad. It was a fine moment...

Dinner is a smashing success... even though we essentially ate garbage.

Phew.

Have I told you that I will never mention that I have steak in the freezer again?

But it was fun to hang out with my crazy family. We had a good time and everyone rolled with the punches. Then we had lemon icebox pie. It's like key lime pie, but with lemon. I like lemons (with salt or without). In fact, instead of a birthday cake, I ask for lemon icebox pie. That's how I roll.

So here's how to impress your guests next time you throw a dinner party:

Grab equal parts basil, oregano, rosemary, garlic, salt and add a few red pepper flakes. Chop the fuck out of it (sorry Ms. A). Toss the resultant green mash onto a plate. Drown that shit in olive oil. Have your guests dip their bread in it. If someone doesn't like it, they were never really your friend anyway. There is something genetically wrong with them. Seriously. I don't know if they have a Carraba's where you are, but if they do, eat there. It's the best food ever. And this is their dipping sauce.

P.S. Yes there is one leftover steak. But I suffered so greatly for it that I just can't bring myself to share...

271 - OHMYGOD! Company's coming...

2010-05-08T21:18:00.002-05:00

I work very hard to be laid back. You see, genetically, I'm predisposed to freaking out about things. I'll elaborate in a bit, but first let me just say: I will never let my parents know that I have steaks in the freezer again. Ever.

It all started out as such a simple plan. Two weeks ago, I got a great deal on steaks, so I bought them.

Dad came over to cut a tree down and install yet another soffit screen. I mentioned that I bought some steaks, and needed to clear out some space in my freezer, would he and mom be interested in grilling the next day? He said, 'I think your mom was planning to grill steaks next weekend for Mother's Day.' Okay. No problem, we can do it another time. Conversation over.

Two hours later I get a call from mom, with THE PANIC in her voice... "Krit (she calls me Krit... which is better than calling me Brenda (my aunt) or J'Kristy (when she somehow gets my name confused with dad's, but manages to correct midstream... don't ask what it does to my psyche when my own mother can't get my name right...)... So "Krit," she says, panicked, "we were gonna grill steaks next weekend!" Yep, that's what dad said. It was settled then and there. "Well... your father made it sound like you needed to know if we were going to cook them tomorrow... So, are we going to use your steaks next week or do we need to get some?" We can use mine. "What kind of steaks are they?" ...sigh... NY Strip and sirloin. "Oooookay... we'll see you tomorrow then... bye-bye."

Two hours later I get a voicemail from mom. THE PANIC is back. "Krit... this is your mother (duh)... did you already buy the steaks or do we need to buy some? You need to let us know so we can go to the grocery store. If you didn't buy them we'll need to. So let us know so we can pick them up if we need to... oooooooookay... bye-bye."

Sigh... If you'll recall, the story started with "I bought some steaks..."?

It wasn't over.

"Krit... your aunt and uncle want to stop by on their way back from Galveston and I don't know what time they're coming so I need to know what you think we should do about the steaks whetherweneedtogetsomemoreorif -- MOM! -- andIdon't knowwhenthey'regonnabehereand -- MOM! STOP TALKING!!!!

Astoundingly... she did. It never happens. I almost lost my train of thought from the shock.

Why don't we grill at my house and that way they can come over here, since they've never seen my house? "Well what should we do about the steaks? I don't even know what time they're coming." Why don't... you find out what time they're coming... and that way we'll know if we need to get more steaks or not? I mean, if they come around 3, it's a moot point. "Oh, okay! Well, we'll see you around one then." Yep. Buh-bye.

Think it ended there?

Do you?

Do you really?

This morning I get another call. "Krit, I's just gonna let you know that we bought four strip steaks, so if you haven't already thawed the sirloin, you can just keep that for another day and we'll all have the same kind of steak." At this point I have thrown up my hands and given in. Whatever she wants to do is fine. Having the same type of steak really isn't that important to me, but it's not worth mentioning because she'll just rationalize why it is. I just said okay, and we said goodbye.

So what did I do wrong? It seemed soooooooooo simple. I just offered to grill them a steak... but I will never make that mis-steak again...

So today I cleaned the house. I stowed things in closets. It's good to have company on the horizon because it gets my ass in gear. It really sucked to be doing all this with a hangover, but it had to be done.

I had a good time last night. Hung out with a couple of my gal pals, met some new people, jumped around like an idiot in one of those inflatable houses for kid's parties, shot some pool, saw a friend's band and danced with a random boy (oddly, we danced to Tool... who knew?). It was the most excitement I've had in a long time! It's like I crammed an entire month of stuff into twelve hours. I am that kind of efficient.

270 - What a FUN DAY!

2010-05-06T19:47:00.000-05:00

Earlier this afternoon, my officemate tells me his wife just texted him and says there's a bomb threat at Ellington and they have some schools on lockdown. Weird. But I guess I get it, Ellington is an air base, they scramble jets every once in a while. But... turns out she somehow got that confused with... a burglary. Five area schools were locked down because two suspects had escaped on foot from a bank robbery, and one of them had a gun. Reminds me of the day that I drove to work and saw a cop with his gun pointed at someone standing in front of a bank. What sucked about that scenario from my standpoint is that his gun was pointed toward traffic... i.e. me. For a second anyway.

Not sure how bomb threat at Ellington translated to lockdown due to burglary... but... hey, we all make mistakes. =)

Then I happen to see on tv that the Greeks are pretty pissed about something having to do with banking, so, being a civilized country... they're rioting. Those crazy Greeks... Again, another weird coorelation... they riot, and our stock market plummets 900 points? I so DO NOT want to look at my 401k right now... Maybe it's worth it to pay the penalties and just stuff it in my mattress. At least that way if money isn't worth anything anymore, I will have a comfortable mattress upon which to sleep.

Glad I decided on Alaska and not Greece for my next vacation.

So today is silly song day. I've downloaded Lady Gaga's Telephone, Christina Aguilera's Not Myself Tonight, and the remixed Glee version of Olivia Newton John's Physical (possibly the best video EVER made, eh girls?). Will I regret this tomorrow? Nah. I've been brainwashed to believe it's alright. Seriously, what's wrong with enjoying a song just because it has a good beat? Isn't that basically what Sarah said???

Hey... doesn't that sound like a cool little featurette? What Sarah Said. Yes -- I like it!

Alright, I'm getting off this crazy thing before I scare more people away. I'm minus a follower... you win some, you lose some.

269 - Easy

2010-05-05T18:12:00.000-05:00

Today is an easy blog! I've been tagged by Terry to answer these five questions, five times.

Question 1 - Where were you five years ago?

1. Living in an apartment.

2. Working at the same job.

3. Planning my first international trip, to Ireland.

4. Wow. This isn't easy. Um, still thinking about writing that book.

5. Crap, I only have four answers in me...

Question 2 - Where would you like to be in five years?

1. In a house with land.

2. Happily married.

3. Somewhere in the same geographical area that I'm in now.

4. In my garden.

5. Traveling the world.

Question 3 - What is on your to-do list today?

1. Water the garden

2. Do some laundry.

3. Get those dishes of the sink

4. Catch up on any blogs I didn't get to at lunchtime.

5. Figure out what I'm getting at the grocery store this week.

Question 4 - What snacks do you enjoy?

1. Pickles.

2. Potato chips.

3. Bear Naked Granola
4. Cheese.

5. Lemon with salt, lots of salt

Question 5 - What five things would you do if you were a billionaire?

1. Buy property EVERYWHERE

2. Take care of my family and friends

3. Travel the world

4. Throw a big ass party

5. Donate some of it to charity

So I am going to tag... hmmm... Jimmy and Dr. Soosie. My condolences!

268 - Lucky

2010-05-04T20:36:00.000-05:00

Sometimes I forget how lucky I am. My immediate family is nearby, my friends are the best, my cats are practically perfect in every way (except for the pooing, shedding and barfing). My garden is growing, my pantry is stocked, my medicine cabinet is overflowing. I have a good job, a nice house, a kick ass car. The only thing I'm missing is that perfect guy and the 2.5 kids... but I can wait.

So times are good. Then I turn on the news and I see all the wonky weather and the glut of natural disasters...

I don't feel crazy anymore for my apocalyptic obsessions. For one thing, I've found a TON of other 'preppers' out there, some on the panic end of the spectrum, but most somewhere in the middle... best to be prepared. Even the seemingly paranoid preppers have something to offer, a gadget, a philosophy or some form of knowledge. You can learn from anyone.

Mostly, I'm realizing that what I'm preparing for doesn't have to be something crazy like a solar flare or 2012... it could be a pandemic, the loss of a job, a hurricane, a blizzard, an earthquake, a volcanic eruption, or flooding (as in the horrific flooding in Tennessee where TS and Lisa Marie live, please keep them in your prayers). Or, yeah, another 9/11-type attack could happen... it's not high on my list of worries, but given that it happened once it's not completely out of the question anymore... now is it?. So... as a writer, I see something on the news and I puzzle it out... what would I do in that situation? Doing that helps me put things into perspective, and yes, sometimes it creates the most ridiculous vignettes, which I write down in case I ever get around to writing another book... you know how my mind works.

What I learned after Ike is that even if you are only minimally affected by the disaster, you still feel the after effects. Stores may not be open, supply trucks may not be able to get through, the power might be out for days, water may need to be boiled. If you don't have enough supplies to last for one or two weeks, you're relying on the kindness of strangers, or the not-always-so-rapid response of the government. People can go one of two ways in a situation like that... they can go the Katrina route and loot and scream obscenities and expect handouts, or they can be rational and help each other and, frankly, themselves. If a true pandemic were to hit, and everyone was quarantined, they say you need three months of supplies. Everyone has to draw their own line. You decide what kind of disaster is most likely to occur in your area, and then you plan accordingly.

Over time, I have become a 'prepper'. Wouldn't you like to be a prepper too? lol

Seriously though, it doesn't take much to accumulate supplies. You don't have to do it all at once. Buy an extra can of veggies when you do your shopping. Grab a $1.00 bag of dried beans. A pouch of tuna. A can of vienna sausage -- no, seriously -- don't do that... read the label, it's disgusting... Do this every shopping trip and in no time you'll be set. Then rotate your stock by using it in your everyday meal preparation. It's also nice because some nights you might not feel like going out, so you just grab something from your stockpile and you're set.

Using coupons, I have amassed almost every conceivable item a person could want in their medicine cabinet. After a disaster you might not be able to get an appointment with your doctor, the hospitals might be full -- you might not be able to get out of your neighborhood. If you can treat yourself at home, that's good. After a hurricane there is debris everywhere, people are cutting up tree limbs, there are zillions of mosquitos after the water pools. It's highly likely that you're going to need some kind of first aid, and with all the stress, you're also more susceptible to illness (not to mention all the nasty crud hiding in the sludge). If you catch a cold at my house I can offer you Tylenol Cold and Flu, Sudafed, Theraflu or Alka Seltzer Cold & Flu. Have a headache? Do you want Aleve, Tylenol, Motrin or Bayer? Allergies? I have Benadryl creams, sprays and pills, and Zyrtec. If Claritin goes on sale I'll snag some of that, too. I also have natural remedies like Tea Tree Oil, Lavendar Oil, diatamaceous earth, thyme, sage... I'm not ashamed.

I don't advertise it to everyone I meet, because I don't want them knocking on my door when the shit hits the fan -- I feel like everyone is responsible for themselves. I am responsible for me, and I'll gladly help my family, and then, if I have the means, my friends. But don't count on me unless I've told you that you can.

So what is on my list?

So important that it doesn't need a number... water... LOTS of water. Water for drinking, water for bathing, water for cooking, water for cleaning, water to flush the toilet (and a bucket to pour it with). Water in the form of ice is also important.

The rest of the list?

1) A battery operated fan, and plenty of batteries. It's gets hot as Hades out here. I'm lucky that I can open my windows and that does help, but only to an extent. I learned that if I wet a paper towel and rubbed myself down with it, that would cool me off a little. After a little while I could whirl that paper towel around in the air to get it cool and do another rub down. Helpful, but also a pain in the ass.

2) An emergency radio. I had a battery operated tv last time, but with the digital transition came the end of that little luxury. Knowing what's going on in the outside world, or being able to take a break from it with a 30-minute sitcom, is very helpful.

3) A car charger for my cell phone. I didn't have one of these, so when my cellphone battery died... no more text messages, no more phone calls. Of course, it only matters if you can get a signal.

4) Candles. When there is no power there is nothing but moonlight to help you see in the dark. It never seems particularly dark outside when the electricity is on, because we have streetlamps. Without streetlamps... dark. And make sure you can light them, candle without flame aren't very helpful.

5) Charcoal. You can cook anything on the grill that you can cook on the stove or in an oven. If you have charcoal. (and make sure you have something to light it with, too)

6) Styrofoam coolers. I noticed that when I filled a styrofoam cooler with ice so I could take milk with me to MS (didn't want to waste what I'd just bought...), by the time we left, about six days later, the ice had just fully melted, and everything was still cold. That means it lasted longer than my refrigerator did. The plastic coolers just don't achieve the same result.

7) Ice and/or 2-liter bottles filled with water and frozen (when the ice melts you can drink what's in the bottles). Good to have ice when you don't have power. I always keep my ice tray full, even though I don't really use ice very much.

8) Food. Whatever you like to eat, but especially things that don't require refrigeration. Clif Bars are one of my new favorite things, they have a lot of nutrition packed into a compact, pretty good tasting bar, for about a dollar. Speaking of food. I'm always at a loss as to how to use my pantry staples, especially dried goods, in an emergency situation. This is a great site for ideas. There's another site, I think it's called Dutch Oven Dude, that shows you how to cook outdoors with a Dutch oven.

9) A gun. Just in case.(think Katrina again)

10) If you have pets, don't forget pet food and supplies. I always keep at least three bags of food and two boxes of cans, plus a couple of boxes of kitty litter. I actually started doing that after one particular Christmas when I needed cat litter and almost didn't find anything open that carried it.

11) Games. Sure there's usually plenty of work to do after a disaster, but we all need our down time. Board games, card games, puzzles... they all make life seem a little more normal.

12) Vitamins. You need these because you may not be getting all the nutrients you need, plus you need all the help you can get to combat what stress does to your body. They're just good to have on any day.

There are tons more things, I won't get too specific. If you think I'm nuts, so be it, but in my mind, it's better to be safe than sorry. If the shit doesn't hit the fan, you can laugh at me all you want... if it ever does... don't say I didn't try to warn you.

267 - Too much booty in the pants

2010-05-03T19:43:00.000-05:00

This evening as I went out to water the garden, I saw five or six honey bees buzzing around those bushes I let flower out (just for them!). There may have been more, buzzing within the bushes where I couldn't see them, but with my own eyes, I spied five. Honey bees! Sorry -- beezzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

And a wasp, eating the wood off my swing. But he's not important, so don't get attached.

I never thought I'd be so happy to see bees. Ridiculously happy. I might have *cough* done a little jig. But no one can prove that. It's just your word... against mine.

You know... I feel really bad about all the honey bees I stomped on when I was five years old... pounding my way through the clover during recess like some maniacal demented giant. What was I thinking? It's like I was single-handedly trying to bring about the collapse of our (then) well-functioning ecosystem.

And I won't go into to the Great Doodle Bug Masacre of '79. I really don't like to talk about it.

I also got up close and personal with another honeybee on Friday in a parking lot. It got right in my face, so I blew on it with my special 'breath of death'... wisely, it flew away. But then it came back again. This time I calmly told it I'd rather not kill it, so please go away (empty threat) and it flew away again, this time for good.

Anyhoo.

I had some blackberries in my refrigerator, so I made a bastardized version of Strawberry Icebox Pie. Never made either a strawberry, nor a blackberry version before so we'll see how that turns out. Not important. What is important is that I also split one berry into three pieces and stuck those pieces into the ground. Then I put them into a box, and I put that box into a bigger box, and I put that box in another box, mailed it to myself and I SMASHED IT WITH A HAMMER!!! (anyone else like The Emperor's New Groove?) I'm crazy like that. 'Will it grow?' I ask myself. 'I dunno!' I answer back. 'What do say we throw it in some soil and see what happens?' I giggle. 'I dunno! It's crazy! Let's do it! Bwahahaha!'

Not that I... um... talk to myself, or do crazy jigs or anything...

(that might have been funnier as a vlog... but I'm not there yet...)

2010-05-03T08:03:00.003-05:00

Um... where's my sidebar?

266 - Garden Update

2010-05-02T19:36:00.000-05:00

Gotta make up a couple of hours of work, so I'm going to make this simple on myself. PICTURES!!! of the garden!

It grows.

From left to right: Parsley, Sage (with some kind of bug-riddled lettuce abutting it), Brussels Sprouts, and (lying on is side) Broccoli that is going to seed... so maybe in the fall I'll have a bed full of broccoli. Then I can chop it. And I'll be choppin' broccoliiiii, chop-unh(!) brocc-o-li!

Lemon tree, pretty yellow, and the fruit is... can't remember the words to that song (Joe?). Look at the giant lemon! So what if it's on the tag...

Kentucky Blue Beans, look at the cute lil' shoot! I have about 5 of those ready to climb the veggie ladder.

This is what a Roma tomato looks like before it ripens (I figure Bendigo is showing this one to his son, so I should elaborate -- Hi Bendigo's son! Sorry I couldn't find another worm... P.S. In case you didn't know, your dad is SUPER proud of you.)

I know this isn't part of the garden... per se... but I'm so dang proud of my Sycamore tree... look at all those leaves! I think next year I'll start pruning the lower branches, but it's only 3 years old so I figure I should let it grow a bit more.

This is the orangey tomato variety (or will be)... can't recall the name and I'm too lazy to walk back outside to check. All the cluster-type tomatoes seem to be really prolific. I'm going to have LOTS of tomatos, this cluster is typical of the five plants I bought from the nursery, and then I have two more that got a later start, so they are just getting to the budding out stage (haven't gotten there yet Greg).

More tomatoes

And the tomato obsession continues...

The sum of all parts (I just watered)

Still haven't gotten to eat any strawberries. The one that was almost ripe enough to pick, was pirated by a squirrel or some other critter. I have also had a turnip stolen... and entire turnip, not just the greens... so there's a turnip-napper out there somewhere. Grrr...

For reference, this is what the garden looked like a mere five weeks ago.

So Lisa... how does YOUR garden grow? I wanna see! I wanna see!

265 - A good week

2010-04-30T11:29:00.000-05:00

Haven't lost any of you guys this week, still at 74 'followers'! Hopefully this doesn't run anyone off...

It's another short one. Gotta have balance in your life, right?

A name to add to the list of 'names not to stick my children with'... Sparkles. I got a call from Sparkles at Staples to let me know that my order had arrived. I wonder if she's a vampire... now that they sparkle in the sunlight and all...

Oh... can't pass this up since I'm alluding to Twilight... this has to be the best People of WalMart creature of all time... not necessarily the creature per se, but the comment that the person who submitted it made. I love Twilight (the books), but...

Have a great weekend!

264 - An argumentative SOB

2010-04-29T20:39:00.001-05:00

Today I was introduced (once again) to 'how not to argue if you want people to listen to a damn thing you're saying':

1) Take the meat of what the person you're arguing with says, slightly twist it into something you know they didn't mean, confront them with it an agressively argumentative manner.
2) Season with a thinly veiled insult
3) Sprinkle with rhetoric
4) Insult them again, but make it more obvious (because they're so stupid that they probably missed it the first time)
5) Refuse to accept defeat, even when you are 100% wrong
6) Make it personal
7) Make everything literal, even if it gets ridiculous
8) Keep going like a demonic Energizer bunny intent on getting the last word in - post, post, post!
9) Argue with EVERYONE (no one can accuse you of discrimination!)
10) Call the other person names and then accuse them of introducing emotion into the argument while you are 'merely stating facts'
11) Fail to recognize that you are a hypocrite

I'm sure there are several additional ways to do this (in)effectively, but I think that covers the basic of How to Debate Like An Ass Clown 101. We hope you've enjoyed our crash course. Stay tuned for future episodes.

263 - Blah-g

2010-04-28T18:45:00.000-05:00

Not in a very upbeat mood today for some reason. Spent most of the afternoon feeling sorry for myself and doing that thing where you're already miserable, so you reach back into the archives to find things that made you miserable 20 years ago just so you can add those to the pile-o-misery... Anyone else do that? Anyone? No? Just me then. Well anyway... there's no plausible explanation for it, so I'm assuming it's a latent 'case of the Mondays' and will pass soon. All I wanna do is sleep. In a fetal position.

So I'll leave you with the best freebie of all... one I can't believe I frickin' forgot... but I did, until I mentioned Amazon in an answer to a comment (I do respond to my comments, eventually). Okay, they offer a ton of free music, but I'll be honest, most of it isn't that great. Once in a while there's a gem, but it's rare. That's not the freebie I'm talking about, but I thought I'd mention it anyway.

I know I've railed about e-books before... I am firmly pro-book, real books, books with pages. That's just me though. It's what I like. If you don't feel that way, we can still be acquaintances. (I kid) But... *cough* did you know that you can download Kindle for PC for free? But no, that's not the best part. The best part -- and the part that makes it okay for me to be hypocritical in this one instance... are ALL THE FREE JANE AUSTEN BOOKS!!! There are oodles and scads of them! And Jane doesn't care if they're free because she's dead, so she doesn't get any royalties anyway. That assauges my author-guilt (buying second hand books is great for the reader, but authors don't get royalties; as a wannabe author that pains me). So before you think I'm any more weird than you already think I am, or maybe realize I really am weird (that's enough from you Joe), here's the link.

I haven't looked, there may be free Dickens and Dostoyevsky for all I know. And if that's the case, I'll melt into a happy puddle. I love me some D&D!

262 - Free is the new black

2010-04-27T20:14:00.000-05:00

Some cool free stuff I found by perusing the various money-saving blogs (see sidebar... I didn't link the names):

From MyDallasMommy --

Sign up with Energy Efficient Now to participate in The Free Lightbulb Initiative and receive two free Compact Fluorescent (CFL) Lightbulbs!

Click on over to get a Free Emeril’s 20th Anniversary Cookbook It’s an exclusive collection of many of the best-loved recipes from Emeril’s, from Barbecued Shrimp to Banana Cream Pie to Sazaracs – there’s something in this cookbook for everyone in there…and best of all, it’s FREE!

Become a fan of NeilMed Neti Pots on Facebook, and you'll be able to fill out a form for a FREE NeilMed Neti Pot with mixture packets. (how timely, lol!)

From SavingMoneyWisely:

Head over to Wal-Mart’s site to get a FREE sample of U by Kotex! (ladies -- these are awesome)

From TheKrazyCouponLady:

At Vista Print right now you can score yourself 140 FREE Return Address Labels! Just pay to have them shipped (shipping starts at $2.75)

Einstein Bagels is giving away a FREE Bagel and Schmear to their facebook fans! Go HERE to become a fan, then use the Offers tab to get your coupon. (this link didn't work for me, but maybe they'll fix it soon)

How to get free Duracell batteries at Staples.

From SouthernSavers.com:

Right now Redbox is offering a rental free when you place your first online rental. Go here to reserve you movie and then simply swing by the Redbox to pick it up! This basically makes it a B1G1 deal.

Not free, but very inexpensive, (2) boxes of Hammermill paper for around $5 from Staples.

Free song (from VocalPoint)

From PassionforSavings:

Kodak Gallery is offering a Free 5×7 Greeting Card for Mother’s Day. Just Use the Code: 4MOM at Checkout after you create your Card (and if it's your first rodeo at KG, you can score 50 free prints)

I'm sure there are more out there, but this is what was easy to find. Many of these blogs post the same deals, but there's enough variety to keep me coming back to find the gem of a deal I might have otherwise missed. Have fun!

261 - Anyone want a slightly used Neti Pot?

2010-04-26T19:29:00.000-05:00

Sort of kidding.

Day 2 of the Neti Pot experience. My allergies were bad today. Granted, it's not Neti's fault. It's the pollen. I figured if I used the NP when I got home, it would help a little. It burned more today than it did yesterday. You know how it feels when you're in the pool and you get water up your nose? Well, not surprisingly, it feels like that. And this time I didn't use the whole packet of salt / baking soda. And I made sure the water was lukewarm. Not too hot, not too cold, but juuuuuuuuuuuuust right. So, I will soldier on, but... I'm not sure I'm going to keep it up. At least my nose didn't bleed today. That's progress, huh?

Today on the way out the door from work, I saw the most beautiful human being. He was tall, had long dark hair, gorgeous eyes. Oh my. He was like the older twin of the 19 year old I was drooling over in Mississippi (stop with the disapproving scowl... he's legal... and I didn't pounce). Will I ever get over this long hair fetish of mine? I thought I was done with it, but give me a good looking man with long hair and I still feel the pull. It's a holdover from my teenage years. Add a few tattoos and I'm drooling.

I received, in the mail today, some diatomaceous earth. I'm quite excited about it. I can sprinkle it in my garden and suck the juice out of the bugs that suck the juice out of my tomatoes. Bwahahaha! The irony is beautiful! The way it's supposed to work is that these powdered diatoms have jagged little edges, so they cut into the bug, and then I guess they are absorbent (something like silica?), so they dry the buggies out. You can also take it internally, as long as it's food grade. Supposedly it has around 15 different minerals, it absorbs toxins, and it rids the body of harmful parasites. For dogs and cats, you can give it internally to deworm them, or rub it into their fur to kill fleas, mites and ticks. You can rub it into your carpet for the same. It sounds amazing. I'm drinking some now, it's a little gritty, but I don't taste anything so... we'll see. Not that I have fleas or worms or anything.

I'm taking a multi-vitamin, omega-3, vitamin D, calcium and Osteo Bi-Flex. I didn't exercise last week because I was sick, but tonight I'm getting back on the horse. My point is, I'm still stuck at 170 lbs, and I'm still tired all the time. I don't drink as much soda as I did, I drink a lot more water. I don't know what to do. I'm stuck. I try to eat healthier, but I'll probably never eat what I should for every single meal. I'm looking for answers because I'm frustrated. I feel like throwing my hands up and not even trying.

On an up note, Survivors seasons 1 & 2 comes out TOMORROW!!! Tuesdays are awesome.

Does anyone get the whole Justin Beiber thing (did I spell that right?)? What the heck? I heard a snippet and I'm not impressed, he kinda sounds like a girl. And when I searched on iTunes, the autofill put Justin Beiber before Justin TIMBERLAKE. I admit I like JT. Not all of his songs, but enough. I don't think he's hot though, because I think he still looks like a 14 year old (and yes there's a big difference between looking 14 and looking 19 -- I knew what you were thinking). Regardless, he's paid his dues, he deserves to have his name come up before Justin Beiber's. (I know, it seems random, but I heard his name on tv as I was blogging).

That is all.

260 - The things I do for fun...

2010-04-25T22:51:00.000-05:00

So today's haul (that's the official term "haul") was awesome. Between Walgreens and CVS, I spent $8.54 and saved $250, I have $72 to spend next time.

It takes work. ABAO asked how long it takes me to hunt down all these deals... there are three parts to the answer:

1) It takes me about 3 hours to cut out the coupons from my Sunday paper (I now buy 3 copies because I've noticed that many deals say, 'buy $x of brand X and get $x in rewards', and it takes about 3 items to meet that quota). I could pare that time down by doing a variety of things, not the least of which is to not be so anal retentive about actually cutting along the dotted lines, but... oddly, I enjoy cutting coupons out, and white space bothers me (thus the writing). I do get up from time to time and do other things, otherwise my legs would cramp, but yeah... as I watch crappy SyFy movies, I clip.

2) Once I have all my new coupons clipped , I browse the circulars and see what I want, and match it with my coupons; those I remember having just clipped, and those I have filed in my fancy-schmancy modified box. Then I consult SouthernSavers.com to see if I missed anything. Then I start scrolling down the rest of the blogs on my sidebar, because sometimes they are even more deals to be had (I think this time I found about 6 more awesome deals).

3) Next, I chart it out on a spreadsheet to see how much it's going to cost me after coupons, dollars I earned last time, and determine how many rewards dollars I'll earn this time. Have I mentioned the anal retentiveness? Also, because of Walgreens wonky policy about counting Register Rewards as a manufacturer's coupon, and only being allowed one manufacurer's coupon per item, I have to figure out 'filler' items, like this week's $0.39 candy bars, so that I can use alllllllllllll of my many RR's. It's slightly complicated... (btw, you can use a Walgreens store coupon with a manufacturer's coupon, and it doesn't count in the coupon tally)

Then on Sunday, I go to Walgreens and CVS and buy, buy, buy.

This week I started setting aside things to donate, and tomorrow I'll stop by a shelter dropoff site on my way home. I have it pretty good, I know a lot of people don't. As I said before, I've got all the razors and toothpaste I need for... years. I am having too much fun to stop, but there's no more room in my medicine cabinet, so donating not only makes me feel good, but I can also continue my hobby. (I'm donating things other than razors and toothpaste, but ceratin brands are on sale all the time)

So one of the many neat things I bought this week was a Neti Pot. I've been intrigued by them since I saw Carol Burnett demonstrate one on a talk show years ago, and just recently I've been wanting one... well, maybe that's whole 'thinking about something and bringing it about' theory works, because there in the clearance pile was a Neti Pot for $5 (down from $19.99). This isn't the first time it's happened. Wish it would work with weight loss and finding Mr. Right... but I guess I have to start small...

It was... a strange experience... Did you know -- people, more often than not, breathe through their noses? So... it's hard to remember not to breathe through your nose, even though you have a spout inserted into your nostril (as a gentle reminder), and water is flowing through it. And it's a weird sensation to have water (and salt and baking soda) going up your nose, around the top of your nose and back down through the other nostril. It doesn't seem like it should happen. My nose was a little upset about it, actually. Started to really run afterward, which I assume is normal, and then one of my nostrils even bled a little... which I read is rare. Bully for me. I'll give it another go. Now that the burning has subsided, my allergies do seem a bit lessened. I think. And if that's the case, the Neti Pot is a very good thing, because here lately, it looks like someone picked up a ball of pollen and threw it hard at the ground... or my car. I've never seen so much pollen... and so few honey bees.

I've been leaving the buttercups, and the little white flowers on my hedges, in the hopes that the honey bees will come (but NOT the wasps or bumblebees). I haven't seen even one honey bee. In fact, I wonder if the lack of honey bees has something to do with the grotesque amount of pollen, like maybe they usually harvest it and take it elsewhere, but without them... It's not good. For many reasons.

259 - Fun with alarm clocks

2010-04-22T22:48:00.000-05:00

I imagine this to be a little like Harry Potter trying to find the one key to open the door to the Chamber of Secrets, but without the rest of the angry keys or the broomstick... and very early in the morning.

Info:

"Trouble getting up in the morning? This unique flying alarm clock will do the trick! When the alarm sounds, the propeller is launched into the air and flies around the room. To turn off the alarm, you'll have to get up, find the propeller and return it to the base.

With the large easy to read back-lit display, you'll always know what time it is. Need another precious few minutes of sleep? The clock is equipped with a snooze function. This Flying Alarm Clock is perfect for college students, people who work the night shift, and anyone who isn't a morning person!

Features Include:

Easy to set
Snooze function
LCD Display has day of the week
Displays Seconds
Displays AM or PM
Alarm sound is of an airplane taking off & landing
Large alarm icon on display when alarm is set
Backlight is very bright, the entire display lights up in a very bright blue
2 demo buttons - 1 for the motorized propeller & sound & 1 just for the sound
Count-up timer mode"

You can buy it here if you want, for $7.99 + free shipping. I'm intrigued, but I just don't have that kind of energy in the morning, and for my luck that propeller would hit the ceiling fan and be flung straight at my head, or it would end up under the bed and I'd never be able to turn the blasted alarm off (barring just pulling the plug). Or imagine, if you wear glasses and need them to see, they're on your bedside table, but the propeller knocks them off... you can't find your glasses and you can't find that blasted propeller! Hmph.

258 - A riddle

2010-04-22T07:16:00.002-05:00

Why did the cheese stand alone? You know, in the nursery rhyme, "hi ho the dairy-o, the cheese stands alone?"

Did someone cut the cheese?

257 - Zzzz

2010-04-21T21:43:00.000-05:00

Came home, went to bed, fell asleep, woke up and it's 9:30 pm. Time to go back to bed....

256 - 100+

2010-04-20T18:57:00.000-05:00

That's my temperature... I'm sick. Again. Only this time it's only a fever, and a little fatigue. I'm not sure what caused it, but I wonder if it was the ant poison I probably inhaled as I swept when I cleaned the garage... which looks lovely by the way...

Pity me a little?

Please?

Okay, I'll just pretend then... and I'll force my sob story on you despite your reticence on the matter. I'll even leave you alone to read over it while I water the garden... toodles...

I get one week's sick time. I took one day off (early January) so the A/C guys could come fix the heater before it burned my house down (melted wirenut, whole house smelled like burning plastic and probably gave me cancer). I used the other four days in January when I was making choices about which end needed the toilet most urgently. Before the end of the first month of the year my time was gone. By March I had managed to accrue 2.5 meager vacation days. I chuckled to myself that I might get to take a day off to... dare I say it... enjoy doing... nothing (!). Then my uncle passed away. I took 2 of those days and my dad donated the rest to me so I could go to the funeral -- because uncles don't count when it comes to bereavement. (it irks me) Since then I've managed to accrue 9-point-something hours of vacation (squee!). I calculated that in order to go to Florida in May, I needed to put in an hour of comp time. So I have no spare time. At all. I actually needed one more hour.

Sunday night I was running a temp of 101.1. Sounds bad enough, but keep in mind that my normal temp is not 98.6, it's closer to 98.0, so for me that's actually more like a normal person's 101.7 (I know, I'm not a normal person and I've proved it yet again). I decided I shouldn't go in to work on Monday. That being done, I'm 9 hours short for my vacation.

So today, I went to work an hour early (and it pained me... I'm sick, and I am not a morning person, but more pressing, I hate rush hour traffic, and staying one hour later makes the drive home a living HELL, so I sucked it up and the surprised looks I got from my co-workers kinda made it worth my while. Kind of). I also worked through lunch, and if I do this all week I will have made up 6 of those hours. Next week I can make up 3 more and I'm flush again.

Except that...

I called the ortho and they think my trays may come in this week, so next Tuesday I'll probably go get them (he only comes to the local office on Tuesdays). So that means I have to make up even more time. I figure at least two hours. That's 45 minutes travel, and the rest for them to adhere clips to my teeth and put the trays on... I seriously think it will take them that long... yes I do... I might even be underestimating.

I still have a fever. Last night is was 100.2. Think I'm going to get better by pushing myself like this?

Sigh. But I'd rather do this and have my weekend off, that way I at least get two days to chill out and recoup.

Speaking of braces, last night I had a rather painful dream. I dreamt that I got my braces. And the first tray was designed to move my wisdom and molar teeth back, and my front teeth out toward my lip, to create a wider jawline and therefore more space... no idea if this is realistic or not, but it was realistic in my dream. My back teeth felt an incredible amount of pressure, and I felt it and it HURT. I don't know what the hell was going on in my real life, but it woke me up and it HURT.

So I'll leave you with something fun from pioneerliving.com. Now I know how to make sour cream. And so do you:

2 cups light cream

2 Tablespoons buttermilk

Combine cream with buttermilk in hot, clean glass jar with a lid. (Canning jar that has been heating in boiling water, for instance.) Cover tightly and shake gently to thoroughly mix. Let stand in a warm place - like where you put bread to rise) till thickened (24-48 hours). Store, covered in refrigerator. Stir before serving. Use within three weeks. Makes two cups.

---------------------------

I don't know about you, but I love learning this stuff! And, I wonder how it will taste, so I might try it. I doubt it's any cheaper than buying Daisy... guess it would be if I had a moo cow... but alas, I do not. Nor do I have my goat, or my two adorable egg-laying chickens. Or those little teacup piglets (I know they don't produce anything edible, but they're so cute!). Anyone know a single, marriagable farmer?

255 - Super Shopathon Sunday

2010-04-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

God I love shopping. I think today was the be-all / end-all. I'm accumulating so much stuff that I'm going to start donating to a local women's shelter. That way, I can continue this little hobby of mine without being profiled on Hoarders, I can help people, and well... I can also take a tax deduction... win-win-win I say.

So today I spent $76.77 (including tax). Out of that, I will submit a rebate for $20 back from Olay, so my actual out of pocket is $56.77. I'm also submitting a form to get a free movie ticket for buying (4) qualifying Hershey's products, it will go nicely with the free movie ticket I got from the grocery store, and the B1G1 ticket I got from Tropicana. Oh -- and I swung by the grocery store (since it was on my way) because they overcharged me for my granola. It was only $2, but they gave me $5.99 for my trouble, so... $50.78 out of pocket. On top of that, I got $22.50 in Walgreens Register Rewards to spend on my next trip, and $32.98 in CVS Extra Care Bucks.

So I've got a little over $55 to spend next week before I even pay one red cent. My out of pocket would have been less, but I went to Target to get stuff to organize the garage, so $26 of that stuff is outside the scope of my usual drugstore forays. Not bad for ~$272 worth of stuff (pre-sale, pre-coupon). By the way, Target is giving away a free bag today, to celebrate Earth Day.

Yesterday I cleaned out the garage as planned. I still have to tackle the workbench, but that's what I'm planning to do with the stuff I bought today. The half I cleaned looks really good! I am impressed with myself. If it weren't for the cat litter in the middle of the floor, I could actually get a second car in there if I wanted to! So far I haven't seen anymore copperheads. They're probably all hiding under the workbench... it's seriously scary under there...

Pics of my loot (Greg: please note that I'm not in the photos, nor am I singing):

254 - My cup runneth over

2010-04-16T20:43:00.001-05:00

I keep finding old classmates on facebook. It's great for that. Occassionally though, I get friend requests from people I don't recognize. Many times, if they are friends with enough of my friends, I'll accept their friend request anyway. Otherwise, they languish in limbo forever. And if I recognize the name or the picture, I will accept them right away. Most of the time.

But not today.

Today I think I got a friend request from a complete jackass I once worked with at Wendy's. A guy who, months later when I had another job, thought it was okay to back me up against a record display when I happened to be alone in the store where I worked. I didn't know what he planned to do, but he wasn't backing off and I was telling him to... and I didn't like the look on his face. I absolutely want nothing to do with him. I can't believe he has the balls to even ask. I can't tell for sure it's him, because he has that creepy no-photo silhouette instead of a real photo, which honestly, is a gift to the rest of us, but how convenient. Still he lurks. But I'm pretty sure it's him, because he hit me up after I befriended one of our co-workers, and the first name is right.

It pisses me the hell off.

I used to be a size 7. Sometimes I think I subconsciously gained weight on purpose because of guys like him who think it's okay to harass women. Before I gained weight, guys bugged me a lot, and they took advantage of my laid back nature, the fact that I didn't like to make waves, that I was afraid of confrontation. They would say inappropriate things, they would try to touch me to see what they could get away with, they pushed the boundaries... and I'm not talking about boyfriends. I had one asshole put his hand in my back pocket and then he tried to make me seem like the asshole when I pulled it out and placed it on the table... three times. Mind you, I'd met him about 30 mins before he made his Cassanova move. When I was younger I let guys get away with it. I honestly did. I don't know what I was thinking. My bad. Thank God I found my backbone.

So to my wanna-be facebook buddy -- suck it, asshole. You're lucky you didn't try it now. I'd rip your fucking balls off. I have a memory like an elephant. Whenever you do something heinous enough, I never ever forget you -- and I never forget what you did. Friendship denied.

253 - Curiousity and thinking ahead

2010-04-15T18:33:00.000-05:00

I actually wrote a little bit last night! To clarify, it was a story I wrote, not a blog. As always seems to happen, I'm in bed, attempting to fall asleep and BLAMMO, scene plays out in my head. I've learned from experience that believing I can remember it the next day, and actually remembering it the next day, are two completely different things. For this reason, I have a notebook and pen right next to the bed (it saves me a lot of unnecessary crying the next day). I didn't turn the light on to write, so God only knows if I can even read what I took the time to jot down, but it's in there... somewhere.

As part of my writerly tendencies, I am curious. I problem solve. A lot. And the internet is a perfect tool to sate that curiousity. Since my burgeoning story revolves around (what else?) the Apocalypse (a pandemic... and by the way, I'm so very glad I found another completely-new-not-overdone-in-anyway-idea to make up for that vampire novel I wasted my time writing last year...) I have been thinking through different scenarios. What would I need to have on hand? Without the internet, where would I get my information? Anyhoo, long story shor-- sorry, too late for that... I googled 'rifle' to see where I could buy a rifle. Rifles are good for hunting, they are also good for protection. No harm, no foul. I figure you can get them at Academy or Sports Authority or WalMart (hiss), but I really don't know since I've never shopped for one.

So to refresh your memory -- I googled 'rifle'.

Later this evening I was about to google 'how to pick a lock' and 'how to hotwire a car'. But just before I started typing in the box, I realized that (if the internet police are out there, and they are indeed watching), looking up 'rifle', 'how to pick a lock' and 'how to hotwire a car' in succession over a short period of time might not look particularly good...

Obama spoke to us from KSC today. Coincidentally I hear he is attending a democratic fundraiser in Miami later this evening, maybe that's why he seemed so distracted. Or maybe it's just arrogance. *shrug* If you're curious, here are the highlights:

Obama is relatable: He proved that by announcing that he likes Tang. That kind of thing certainly resonates with those of us who work at NASA. We're all about the Tang. In fact, I have to insert the Tang IV in order for my computer to boot. No Tang, no computer. By the way IV stands for 'intravenous,' not 'four'... but maybe Tang IV will be the name of the next spacecraft... "Space -- brought to you by... Tang." It'll look like a race car, covered in ads from sponsors... Or maybe... maybe he tricked us, and he doesn't really like Tang... he likes 'tang... no wonder he smirked at us after he said it...
No one – not the people at NASA, not even the astronauts themselves – no one cares more about human exploration than Barack Obama.
Apparently Bolden is quite the interior decorator. Mr. Obama thanked him for helping decorate his office... not the oval one, the one just outside that. You see, Bolden flew on the mission that put Hubble in orbit, and Barack has a picture of one of the planets on his wall.
Favorite quote: Buzz Aldrin is in the house.

The rest of the speech came out of his ass. I think we missed an opportunity. It goes something like this:

We have the shuttle on the launchpad. We ask, "Mr. President *cough* would you like to have a look inside the shuttle?" He says, "That'd be great, because no one cares more about human exploration than I do." We'd laugh, not because it's funny, but because he doesn't know that we know that he's lying through his teeth. But we know. So he goes inside. He sees Biden and Pelosi, then he sees two crates: one labelled Democrats, and one labelled Republicans, and he knows he's been had! He starts running for the door. But before he can escape -- we shut the door. We're go for launch. We're retiring the shuttle anyway, it's like pushing an old Eskimo out to sea on an ice drift. Two birds. One stone. One giant bipartisan celebration! Sure they'll eventually come back down... but where?

...Crap. Now I've put 'Obama' and 'rifle' in the same blog. It was nice knowing you guys. I'll be in Levinworth if you need me...

P.S. I was recreating the kiss and blow pop scenario, but this time I gave them both kisses. Unfortunately my fingertip grazed one of the blowpops and the wrapper was sticky. So I said, "Ew... it's sticky." Only this time I MEANT TO DO IT! HA! I WIN!

252 - Eeny Meeny Miney Mo

2010-04-14T17:37:00.000-05:00

I was watching 16 and pregnant this afternoon and this girl's logic cracked me up... I paraphrase:

We've decided to breast feed, because it's the cheapest option.

Okay... let's examine that for a moment. You're not breastfeeding because it's a bonding experience. You're not breastfeeding because it passes immunity from mother to child. No -- you are breastfeeding because it's free.

Wow. She's more frugal than I am. (and her priorities are slightly off)

In the end, I think she lasted a week before they started buying formula, lol. Backfire! Baby knows... I felt really bad for this one. She started out with the dream of playing for a local philharmonic. Then she downgraded that to something more realistic, ultrasound technician. Then she downgraded that to something I think is probably a scam, medical billing. It's like she gave up. She made me sad.

But she introduced me to the pregnancy belly ring. This makes me feel better, because now I know that if I ever get preggers, I don't have to give mine up... I'm half-joking... I've already had it done twice, I don't want to go through it a third time... unlike the rest of my friends and any strangers I've discussed it with -- my navel has nerve endings. It's hurts like fuck. Did you realize the needle has to go through two pieces of skin? I didn't. I mean, it's so obvious now... but at the time, totally had a brainfart and didn't see it coming. I just about fainted... my friend Debra was a peach and went to the store to get me a Dr. Pepper to get my bloodsugar back up.

I'm sorry, this looks slightly obscene:

Speaking of obscene... I should sooooo file a harassment claim (kidding)... As I was leaving work last Friday, I stopped in to say goodbye to a co-worker. He said, "That's it? Just... 'goodbye'?" I asked, "What more do you want? A big wet sloppy kiss?" He shrugged. I walked away. He's harmless.

Monday I was feeling spunky. We have a candy basket in the common area, so I picked it up and all proud of myself walked over to him, threw a Hershey's Kiss on his desk and said, "Well... it's not wet or sloppy, but here's your kiss." I got the laugh, I was pleased. Then I sauntered over to another co-worker and gave him a Blow Pop. You probably see where this is going. I promise you -- I didn't. For the first time ever, my thought process was entirely innuendo free. I gave him the Blow Pop because the week before he grabbed one and said, "I love these!" Instead, my kind gesture got the following response: "You got a kiss, but she just gave me a blow!"

Oh. My. And from this guy it was even more unexpected... so I almost choked. I had to give him a high five. He got me. The first guy said, "Could you have opened that door any wider? I mean, you had to see that one coming..." Nope. Not at all. My head hung in shame, my face red, I slunk away. Giggling.

251 - Food for thought

2010-04-13T08:49:00.000-05:00

A short one for today, a question about the tragic failings of the human body:

Why can you suck in the front of your stomach, but not the sides?

If you ask me, that's a major design flaw.

250 - I wonder...

2010-04-12T20:58:00.000-05:00

I wonder…

I wonder what the world would do if it ever turns out Snopes.com is total bullshit? I go there to verify any email that doesn't sound right. I put my faith in Snopes. My world would come crumbling down if they too were an urban legend...

I wonder if real estate agents or model home attendants ever feel vulnerable? This weekend mom and I got bored so we decided to tour a couple of model homes, she likes to look at the decorations, and I always drool over the big house I like but will never be able to afford (500k, wtf?). Funny sidestory, my friend Melody and I used to go into model homes when we were teenagers, open the freezer and eat the ice. Weird adjunct to funny sidestory, there was always a dot of glue at the bottom of the cub..icle… I know... gross all the way around. But I'm not dead, so it's all good. So back to what I was saying, mom and I went in and looked at this gorgeous, light-filled, wonderfully decorated 3,500 square foot home that backs up to a golf course and has a Kristy-approved sized lot, and there was one guy in the house. I assume guys don’t worry (as much) about things like rape, but someone could easily rob them and ransack the house. So, say the model home has a security camera… so what? That doesn’t help in the heat of the moment.

Now, at the model home, I assume people drop by randomly, so the risk is reduced. But he also took us to a finished one story home that was on the market. It was kind of out there by itself as far as population goes. It was surrounded by other houses under construction, but nobody lived in them yet. So it was him, my mom, and I. If I were him, I’d be a little worried. He doesn’t know that my mom aren’t Thelma and Louise. And he wasn’t a big guy. But imagine it if you were a woman, and it was a guy, or even two guys. No way would I feel comfortable. So, I’ve crossed real estate agent and model home attendant off my list of potential careers.

I wonder if my cat would recognize her own mother if Sammy found her way back home? Sammy was abducted, either intentionally or unintentionally, by a neighbor who moved out of the neighborhood. I like to think it was intentional, because at least that means they wanted her and are taking care of her. That said, I don't like that she's gone. I love Sammy, she is an incredible cat... fearless, sweet, beautiful, I hope she has a good life. It's been almost a year, and I still look out my back door, hoping to see her in my yard... But I do wonder, if Sammy and Gracie were reunited, would they even know each other? I would think since they are mom and daughter, they would, but I don’t know. Cats are funny about that kind of thing.

Yesterday I had a great shopping day. Sixty-five cents out of pocket with $5 in register rewards at Walgreens (for $60 worth of stuff). $23 out of pocket at CVS and $20.50 in ECBs (for $99 worth of stuff). And today I got two Scrubbing Bubbles Extend-a-Cleans ($7.99 each), two refills ($5.99 each), and two Gillette Fusion razors (on sale for $6.99 each), used two $5 coupons for the Extend-a-Cleans, two buy the Extend-a-Cleans get the refill frees, two $4 off the Gillette Fusions, total out of pocket $12.12 with $10 in gift cards back. Not bad eh? Yep, I'm addicted. If I hadn't already submitted the $5 SC Johnson rebate (when you buy 3 of their products), I would have made money... sigh... (again, that's southernsavers.com and/or any of the others on my sidebar... they update all the time).

On the exercise front, this is my newly implemented "rest week." It's a concept provided to me by my P90X fanatical friend. He says they have a "rest week" and that's when he saw the most change in his body. The rest week isn't a week of me sitting on my butt. Instead I'm resting my muscles, no more squats or lifts or anything like that, this week I am using my treadmill and walking until I burn 250 calories, however long it takes. If I run or use a higher incline, it takes less time.

I also bought lavendar at Home Depot. I love lavendar. It's about time I had some in my garden.

249 - LMAO

2010-04-11T01:24:00.002-05:00

248 - Gilad

2010-04-08T21:33:00.002-05:00

When we were in Mississippi for my uncle's funeral, I discovered that my grandma had FitTV, so I made sure to get up in the mornings so I could work out with Gilad. I brought my Jillian dvd, but much as I like to revisit it from time to time, I'm a Gilad junkie.

As the opening credits rolled, mom looked over at the tv and said, "Now I understand why you like this show so much...":

Unfortunately you can't see all of the opening credits, but it's a lot of Gilad, with his shirt off, muscles flexing, me drooling...

So, aside from the nice looking man on the television, why do I prefer Total Body Sculpt over other exercise videos / shows?

I find Gilad to be very motivating. He tells me I'm doing excellent work and he says it a lot. He is humorous sometimes (he once calls his crew 'exorcists', he tells Kelly that her biceps look like biceps... only smaller...). And have I mentioned he's nice to look at?

When he says he wants to get his hands on my body and work me out, I giggle. When he threatens that if I'm still sitting on the couch he's going to send one of the crew to my house to motivate me, I almost take a seat just so he'll send Jim. I'd show you a picture of Jim but I can't find one.

Mostly, it's because he coaches me on proper form so that I get the most out of my workout. I feel my body changing, it doesn't hurt, but it burns. When it's over, I feel like I've accomplished something because it's not easy, but it's not Jillian or P90X hard either (I do find though, when I discuss it with my friend the P90X junkie (see Bret, you did make the blog!), some of the exercises are the same). I like that he has two women and two men working out with him, and the women are both brunettes -- and fully clothed. And Kelly's energy is contagious. I enjoy the scenery behind them, because the show is set in Hawaii. Each separate piece works for me, but as a whole it's even better. Hell, I even like the music, it's sort of a driving techno that gets stuck in my head and gets my blood pumping.

So all that... in addition to the pretty muscles in the opening credits, is why I continue to work out with Gilad.

247 - Author Interview: Marc Schooley

2010-04-07T17:35:00.001-05:00

Before I begin, Kristy, I’d like to thank you for your patience. I apologize for taking so long to answer these questions. This is a wonderful set of interview questions, and, besides doing a hundred things at once, I wanted to honor these question with a worthwhile response. I hope I have.

I appreciate you taking the time. You went above and beyond what I’d dare hope for.

Oh yeah…my publisher, Marcher Lord Press, will disown me if I do not mention upfront that The Dark Man features attack helicopters.

It does indeed feature attack helicopters. Pretty cool ones if I may interject. So -- if anyone is surprised to see attack helicopters in this book, it isn’t because we didn’t warn you! =)

Alrighty, so without further adieu, questions and answers pertaining to author Marc Schooley’s The Dark Man:

The main character, Charles, has a wooden puzzle with blocks that, when combined in different ways, can morph into an infinite variety of faces. Where did you come up with the idea for the puzzle, and where can I get one?

Since an actual infinite most likely does not exist, a point I may revisit below, let’s call it nearly infinite, or the like. I did not come up with the idea; it appeared to me as I was writing the first scene. I saw Charles sitting on the balcony, watching the gut-wrenching dissolution of his parent’s marriage through the balcony railing. When I looked a bit closer, I noticed he was mindlessly rummaging through something on the floor. I looked closer and it was the puzzle. Very odd.

Thus, the dark man himself was not present or conceived of when I began writing. He suddenly appeared in the puzzle, once I had seen it, and was “born.” He then becomes the main symbol undergirding the novel. That’s why I say ditch the outlines! It’s so much more fun to watch the story unfold in front of you. It is to me, anyway. So, I’d say you possess a built-in puzzle. There’s no need to search any further for one…just look around you and pieces will begin arranging themselves. They do for me, that is. I suspect they might for you as well.

Characters do seem to do that. They appear out of nowhere, go left when you think they should go right… they’re like ill-behaved children. But that makes the process exciting.

When Charles and Julia have their first date, you have them lying on the hood of a car outside of Hobby Airport. I've seen this in movies before, where the plane flies so low on approach that it looks like you can reach up and touch it. Is there any symbolic significance to that particular activity? Have you ever done this in real life?

In the old days, and maybe still, though I haven’t been to the spot in decades, you could park along the backside of Hobby Airport and watch the planes fly over just so, which is where this scene was imagined. Almost anyone’s local airport should conjure up an adequate setting.

Is there any symbolic significance to that particular activity? Well, let’s just say that this was Charles’ and Julia’s first date in the book, but not their first date. They were very close by this point, and if you revisit the scene with this in mind, the symbolism should leap off the page, though the five or ten minute airplane landing intervals should not be taken literally.

Ohhhhhhh… *blush*

As a huge fan of 1984, I can see some parallels between Orwell's story and yours. Where his novel is focused on the complete mind control of a society, yours is focused specifically on the banning of religious activities. Did his story influence you in anyway?

Kristy, I’m ashamed to admit that I’ve never read 1984. Your question caught me off-guard, as I love Orwell. Animal Farm has always been the one for me, and I like Orwell’s thought in essay form, in, say, Politics and the English Language. It contains some great thoughts for writers, especially if the writer in question enjoys writing non-fiction as well. I especially enjoy Orwell’s incisiveness; he’s ever the exposer. I’ll remedy my 1984 blindspot ASAP.

Inconceivable! Yep, you definitely have to remedy that...

Did you catch any flack for the explicit nature of the reclamation center scene?

Inside, by the light of a green prism, two men in white coats operated on a prisoner secured to what reminded Charles of a dentist's chair. Every portion of the prisoner's body was restrained--the head by a claw suspended from the ceiling.

The men were attempting to implant a crystalline object into the person's forehead. The prisoner writhed in agony, struggling against the restraints, but no screams escaped the glass cell door. Charles was not certain if the prisoner was male or female because its face had been removed. It looked as if it were wearing a porcelain mask. A featureless mime behind noise-proof glass.

The hallway darkened then switched to blue as Charles staggered back against eh cell door on the opposite side of hte hallway. The doctors continued their operation on the faceless creature. Charles averted his gaze by turning and leaning on the cell door he had backed into. His head leaned on his forearm, which rested against the glass of the cell.

Charles swiped his forearm across his eyes and tried to focus on his mission. When he gazed into the cell door in front of him, a creature was staring back at him an inch from the glass. It stood as motionless as a zombie, its mouth a gaping pit, its eyes black and hollow. A tiny aperture in its forehead glowed blue in tandem with the pulsating of the prisms. It also had no face.

Charles scrambled away from the glass, his hands over his face. "It can't be. No. It's impossible. It can't be."
None whatsoever, at least to this point. I thought the scene was restrained from depicting the evil present there in its true form. If I had it to do over again, I might write it a bit more intensely and vividly. Interestingly, the scene was not present originally. During the editing process, my editor, Jeff Gerke, suggested the reclamation center ought to give the reader a better sense of the nasty stuff occurring inside. It was the decision of a professional, that one, and I’m indebted to him for that. Moral of the scene: find yourself a good editor and trust him or her.

What is your writing ritual like?

Computer laptop, sprawled out on my bed. Writing generally begins around 10 PM, when everything is quiet. Otherwise, I can’t see the story. I also like to devote a weekend to it sometimes.

Very sporadic; however, during the “on” times, the word count skyrockets.

That was my experience, your muse is either there that day, or it’s not, but when it is, times are good…

I read some pretty positive reviews of your book over at Amazon.com. How does it feel to hear that people connected to your story?

The ones that truly connect, for whatever personal reason they had for connecting, are to be treasured. There’s nothing quite like it, though if we put our heads together I’m sure we could find some similarities. I’m sincerely thankful for all the good feedback I’ve received.

However, there’s also been some negative feedback. I talked at length with some of these reviewers and what I’ve found is that many have disliked the ending. I’m grateful for that, because it seems to me that there was an emotional attachment to the story and characters involved that invoked a heartfelt response, and that’s all you can ask for as a writer.

Interestingly, I’ve had the most negative feedback from Christian readers. This could perhaps be a function of the audience for this book being primarily Christian; however, I don’t exactly understand it yet, as TDM is a blatantly Christian work. I can’t think offhand of a non-Christian who has sent back a negative review thus far, and there’s been plenty who have read it. I’m not sure why this is…

I think Christian readers can be fickle because most have a very black and white view of what their religion is and what it isn’t. If you stray from their personal formula, they don’t tolerate it well. Religion is very polarizing. I didn’t find anything offensive about your book, and you seem to know your scripture… you can only do so much.

What's the best thing that has come from being published? There’s a “Marc Schooley Day” in your home town, isn’t there?

The best thing…hmm. Tough question. I’d say two things. The opportunities since being published are one, kinda like being invited to come to your blog and speak for a while. As time goes by, I have had the opportunity to meet more and more people, be exposed to different groups and activities, and be asked to participate in different events.

The second may not make as much sense. Christians love to tell the gospel story, and TDM is no less than that. It’s a real joy to have an overtly Christian book published. Again, I’m still puzzled why it’s been so well received outside the church.

I’m not a big churchgoer and I liked it. While it was overtly religious, I didn’t feel like I’d been preached to, the religion felt like part of the story so that it didn’t feel blatant. I think in these times, when government is intruding more and more on our lives and making choices for is, it’s a relatable tale. You had a little of everything, mystery, romance, action…

So do your co-workers treat you with the proper respect now that you're a bigshot author? Be honest... I know these people....

No, absolutely not, at least within my own group. You know these people.  I’m kidding…they’ve been great. At first I think they were keeping an eye out to see if I was going to quit, but I think I’ve successfully readjusted the whole “bigshot author” notion. I’m not.

The reaction outside my direct working group has been very positive, with a lot of interest.

Why does Farris wear a pearl necklace? I don’t know a single straight guy who would wear a strand of pearls…

I’ll need to ask him why he does that. I never bothered while I was writing the story. I suspect he thinks it’s cool, and that it matches his car.

From the author’s standpoint, there’s an underlying metaphor in the novel of the pearl of great price, from a parable told by Christ in the New Testament. Following this metaphor in the meta-sense of the storyline, you can see the characters react to the metaphor in different ways, even down to the last page. Farris, of course, is lost to the significance of the pearls, which equates to the pearls being cast before swine.

That never even occurred to me, but ‘swine’ certainly describes the type of character he is. Did you model his pretentiousness on someone you know?

No, ma’am…I’d tell you if I did. He’s just greasy, pure and simple. You may not be aware that I once owned a used car lot. Farris is greasy in a used-car sort of way…not with the checkered coat and all, but more along the lines of a flash-cadillac type of car man. Watch out for car men: the half you have heard about it is all true, and so is the other half you don’t know about.

Car men… I could tell some stories… How many characters are based on people you know?

Not one, though, if pressed, I’d have to admit that Charles and Julia both have personal elements of my own lurking deep down inside them.

How long did it take you, from concept to first draft, to write The Dark Man?

Nearly one year. I believe I would have finished it in a matter of months, but the writing was delayed by my graduate studies, and the personal tragedy of the death of my father. The only thing I regret about the entire experience is that my father died before I finished. Thus, he never saw it finished, much less published. That took a while to get over, but, nevertheless, I think he knows.

Sorry to hear about your father. I bet he’d be proud of what you’ve accomplished.

Once you wrote it, how long before it was published? Can you describe the process a bit?

I was very fortunate, Kristy. My editor took a liking to it, and offered to publish it for me through his publishing company. Hence, I did not go through a protracted process of sending out manuscripts to numerous publishing houses.

The process is grueling, however. There’s a ton of work to be done to the manuscript, for the book cover and interior copy, for marketing, and a host of other things that would not come to mind initially. There was one two-week period prior to release that was a busy a time as I can recall.

If you’d like an excellent and easy to read insider’s description of the publishing process, follow this link to one of my publisher’s sites. It’s a great view of the process, and its attendant ups and downs:

http://wherethemapends.com/writerstools/writers_tools_pages/publishing_biz.htm

BTW-for anyone interested, here’s a link to tips for writers. They were immensely helpful to me. I started from scratch and these made all the difference…that and a good editor:

http://wherethemapends.com/writerstools/writers_tools_pages/tip_of_the_week.htm

Those links will come in handy as there are several of us who are in the process of writing, thanks!

People are under the misconception that authors make loads of money when they’re published and they can quit their day jobs and are set for life. Most, however, have to keep their day jobs… What percentage would you say you see of the cover price of your book once the agent, the publisher and the tax man take their cuts? (not asking specific income, that’s personal)

Well, I don’t want to discourage anyone, but here’s the cold, honest, and hard truth:

“Here's the reality of the book industry: in 2004, 950,000 titles out of the 1.2 million tracked by Nielsen Bookscan sold fewer than 99 copies. Another 200,000 sold fewer than 1,000 copies. Only 25,000 sold more than 5,000 copies. The average book in America sells about 500 copies" (Publishers Weekly, July 17, 2006)."

The percentage you see will differ greatly, and depend upon the publisher, whether you have an agent or not, how established you are as an author, and how good a negotiator you are. Of course, I once owned a used car lot, so you can do the math ...

Yep, you’ve gotta love writing to do it, because the numbers can be disheartening.

What one thing would you say to someone to prove God's existence?

Personally: read your Bible.

Philosophically: Evil exists; therefore, God exists.

This is a very personal question for anyone. I write about it publically at marcschooley.com/blog. I find the range of natural theology (cosmological, teleological, contingency, axiological, and ontological arguments) compelling, the best explanation for the accounts of Christ’s death, the empty tomb, the post-mortem appearances, and the subsequent faith of the disciples—historical facts generally not in question—to be the resurrection, and my personal experience, including some very striking real-world events, to demand the conclusion I arrive at.

I’m aware not everyone shares this conclusion, and have very strong relationships with atheists and skeptics who write publically from their point of view.

Have you gotten any fan mail that really touched you?

Yes, quite a bit, and I’ve been able to answer all of it thus far. I’m trying to do this because I’m very thankful for anyone who has given their personal time to read TDM. I’ve chosen to be open to the public, and anyone can email me directly through marcschooley.com.

Any crazy ones?

Only one that I suspect, and the person is so nice, that I just go with it…

…sigh… I’m not crazy... totally kidding, I am. =) Any bomb threats?

Nope. All good emails thus far…

What are your biggest vices? I'll go first... I exercise and do charity work... and... Go!

Oh, I see. You’re perfect. Well, I’m not. =)

What are some of your favorite books?

I read very little fiction, actually. The ones that come to mind are the entire Sherlock Holmes collection, Hamlet and Macbeth, anything by Stephen King, anything by CS Lewis, Camus’ The Stranger and The Plague, Crime and Punishment, The Metamorphosis, Animal Farm, Poe, Jude the Obscure.

I’m more versed in non-fiction: the Bible, philosophy of religion, theology, continental philosophy, logic…

It’s slightly odd for me to write fiction. I’m much more geared toward philosophy and theology.

I love me some Dostoyevsky… Crime and Punishment is one of my favorites.

Charles, Reverend Cleveland and Julia all have inner voices. Charles' voice is called The Dark man, kind of mean, a little crazy. The Reverend's seems more like an actual demon. Both seem to be able to physically manifest themselves. Julia's voice is rational, and calls her 'girly-girl'. What is the difference between the voices? Do you think we all have a Dark Man talking to us?

Yes, I think everyone has a dark man. It’s basic Christian anthropology. Generally in TDM, the closer one is to the gospel, the more they recognize their inner dark man or woman voice for what it is.

(Rev) Cleveland has his more or less under control, which can be seen before the demon appears. Charles’ changes as the story progresses, in accordance with the plotline. Julia, as an atheist, and my favorite character, does not recognize a dark “woman” voice. Hers is genuinely a Julia voice, brought on by her logical mind, the genesis of which was the only large portion of TDM which ended up on the editor’s cutting floor. It now functions as the first chapter to the next installment in the series. Julia senses her dark voice from time to time due to her interaction with Charles, but does not know it is there. Farris, of course, has no idea.

Listen closely to yourself, you may be able to detect it. Mine torments me daily.

So that’s what that is…

Charles has a drinking problem. Is this something you’ve dealt with in your life?

I’ve been sober 19 years now. Before that, I was involved with nearly everything at one time or another, and had real problems with alcohol. I can still feel my fingers itching at times, just as Charles does throughout the book.

Since the story is set in Houston, why didn't mosquitos play a bigger role?

They will in part two, Kristy. Thanks for the constructive criticism…

Anytime! Tell us a little about your next story.

Man does not daydream in the dark…
Or does he?
In the Nachthaus, there’s evil in the dark.
And in the Nachthaus,
it’s always dark…

Only one thing stands against the height of man’s cruelty
And the depth of his fear…

Konig’s Fire.

Much darker than TDM. Nazis, black forests, creepy things, the undead, ovens, darkness, and one man trying to stand against it all with the help a gypsy girl with eyes shinier than the light of a thousand stars.

Very nice! I wish you much success with both The Dark Man, I really enjoyed reading it and looked forward to sinking my teeth into Konig’s Fire. And thank you for taking the time to answer my random questions!

246 - More Cheating

2010-04-06T22:12:00.001-05:00

Running behind tonight... I took a 2-1/2 hour nap after dinner and my day is gone. Terry is letting me beta read his book, so I need to get started on Chapter one (it's exciting to be a beta reader!).

One time, my parents and I set out on what was supposed to be a relaxing vacation to a state park and a waterfall and it was one of those trips where everything that could go wrong... did. One cool thing was that we got to see the moving Vietnam wall exhibit... it was amazing, and sad... it went on and on with name after name. Dad looked for names he served with but didn't find any. I think that was a good sign.

So to cap it off, at the end of the trip, we're coming home and run into a major hailstorm... I took this pic and it is one of my favorite pics, it's very atmospheric.

245 - Cheating

2010-04-05T21:21:00.002-05:00

I'm cheating. It's 9 o'clock and I still have a bath to take, so I'm taking the easy way out and sharin' the lurv with Ian:

What's wrong with fake breasts?
-- Nothing, but I'm not a fan

List your latest run-in with the Carnival of Idiocy.
-- Every day Ian, every day...

Name one thing you'd like to tell your ten year ago self.
-- Don't be so scared of everything. P.S. Snag this guy, leave that one the hell alone, and don't listen to this person when they give you advice.

What's your favorite word that's not in the dictionary?
-- Fucktard

Why do fools fall in love?
-- Because they don't know any better?

Here's a pic from yesterday... the mist we started out with (and my finger):

My black drum (and I'm already burning)

My red fish (all those colors! black drum! red fish!)

Pelican

Wakey wakey

Bridge

Kemah (as referenced on Extreme Makeover: Home

Edition)

Matt McC's (alleged) pad (top floor)... or as I call it, the eyesore of Kemah